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July 2011 Moms
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Born 7.14.11
Vent...Critical mom
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My mom is second-guessing everything... normally I'd just smile and nod and let it roll off my back but lately it's driving me crazy!
On BFing:
Mom - So are you planning to breastfeed?
Me - Yes
Mom - You know, you should have some formula just in case. [Which I do.] Breastfeeding will be hard. The baby will sleep longer if you feed it formula. So-and-so tried and she ended up feeding formula. And you know they'll grow faster on formula. Blah blah blah.
On baby gear:
Mom - So do you have everything you need?
Me - Mostly. Just a few more small things, like a bouncer.
Mom - What's that?
Me - You know, like the chair that you put the baby on if you need to put it down for a minute.
Mom - You can't put a baby in a CHAIR! [English is not her first language so she probably had a different word for it. Because I know I had one when I was a baby.]
Even when she's agreeing with me, she makes it sound like she's bossing me around!
Me - I've been going for massages because my work insurance covers it. It's nice.
Mom - Oh, if your insurance covers it, you'd better take full advantage of it. You know they have pregnancy massages. Yeah, you should do that.
She's offered (ahem, decided) to stay with us for a week or two post-baby (not "to help you out" but "because you won't know anything"). I'd welcome all the help I can get, but I don't know if I can deal with all the criticism.
Born 7.14.11Baby #2: BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
O: Born 3.2.14 (med-free!)
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Re: Vent...Critical mom
I hate when I hear this. First of all, having formula in the house is a temptation that (many times) causes failure when trying to nurse (you want a little more sleep 'just this once", or would like to skip a feeding "just this once") in turn, you make less milk for the next feeding. I just received several full and almost full size cans in the mail as samples....so I promptly donated them!
They also do NOT gain faster on formula. My son was in a hefty, roly-poly 95 percentile for weight on exclusive breast feeding. My other two were in the 25 and 70 percentile, and were breast fed only the first couple months-with about half of that formula supplemented-then exclusive formula.
As for all the other "advice"....you must be in a better mood than me this trimester. I would've told her to shut-up. And that was if I was feeling nice that day
Ugh, I feel you! My mother is totally over the top critical and is driving me nuts as well. Last night she asked where we were registered - I said Amazon (we wanted to do it there b/c it's easy and we will be getting diapers from there so with any returns, bonus for diapers) and she told me how I shouldn't register there and no one will use it and to go to Babies R Us.
Then she asked if we had a highchair. I said it was on the registry b/c we don't need it right away. I told her we registered for a space saver one and she freaked on me - "do they fit all chairs", and then just a look of judgement and shame.
I'm afraid after the baby is born that she's going to drive me nuts...wanting to be over all the time, etc. Then my inlaws come in. Then my sisters. I'm already on overload and will have a newborn and then have to think of going back to work - I'm so overwhelmed when I think of all of them.
Okay, I took over your vent...but I hear you!!
Oh! And I totally get the BF comment too. She told me that as well (my Mom, that is). And also, when asked how I was feeling and I said "good...tired!" she exclaimed "why are you so tired?"
LOL. Not only am I one day shy of 35 weeks, but it's 100 degrees outside.
Yep - I hear you. My mom has the best of intentions and is sweet, but when I've done something for LO or made a decision and let her know, the response is never "oh that's great!" it's more like..."well have you thought of this, or that, or what about this." Um yes mom, thanks I'm 30 and clearly haven't learned anything, or picked up a book or 2 during this pregnancy to weigh out my options... gar.
I love the part where you say she graciously offered to stay to help...my mom was under the impression I would stay at my parents place! LOL I let her know pretty quickly that it wasn't the case.
This sounds like my MIL. She isn't staying with us (thank goodness!), but thinks we are crazy because I am not having my mom stay with us the first few nights (which my mom is totally fine with).
She says that we don't know anything and that I need my mom there because we won't know what we are doing. Yeah, so maybe we won't know what we are doing at first, but we will hopefully catch on. Plus, what is my mom going to do that we can't do?
MIL is old fashioned when it comes to this stuff (she went all natural for her births and also had home births), so when I told her that yes, I am planning on having an epidural, she just gives me the side-eye.
Well it sounds like most of us have/will have mom, MIL, or some sort of family craziness when it comes to labor/birth.... good luck with yours!
I'm so glad that my mom has the opposite plan for her stay with us postpartum. She offered and has stated that she will play a background role the entire time. This baby is mine and my DH's, if I need and ask for help or advice she'll gladly offer her wisdom, otherwise she plans to cook and clean and make grocery runs, etc. And when I need someone to take baby (since DH works all day and has tons of hwk every night) she'll be there while I shower or get some fresh air.
If I heard that argument about breastfeeding versus formula from anyone they would be the LAST person I'd want staying with me immediately after baby is born. Same goes for the not "to help you out" but "because you won't know anything"