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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
McRib
member
Do you think your husband is a whimp?
McRib
member
Lately I feel like my DH is being a whimp. He has thrown out his back by lifting something too heavy. All day yesterday he was whining about his back and how much it hurt. Today he went to the doctor who gave him muscle relaxers and told him to stay out of work for 2 days. Rather than being a supportive wife, I feel annoyed that I am now waiting on him hand and foot, taking care of DS, and doing daycare pickup (means I have to leave work an hour early). Not to mention that he asks me to rub his back aggressively every night when I am exhasted. I guess the bottom line is that I am annoyed that he did something stupid (again. He stupidly sprained his ankle last summer when I was 37 weeks pregnant. Luckily right now I am only 20 weeks). When he makes these ridiculous decisons to carry 800lb things he should really think about how I will be the one left to pick up the pieces. Am I a meanie? I am trying to administer tough love but God I'm tired.
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Re: Do you think your husband is a whimp?
When DH complains that something hurts him I say "take some motrin" and if he says "Naw, I'll be ok" then my response is "then I don't want to hear your complaning"
No, you aren't being a meanie. You are creating a life, he will get over his pain and suffering.
Huh?
OP is 20 weeks preggo.
I think just about all men turn into babies at any minor illness or injury.
If it makes you feel any better, my DH asks me to kill spiders.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
When it comes to back pain, I am always empathetic. I can't even imagine... My dh has really severe back issues, so I never give him crap about it, even when he did something he technically shouldn't have done.
I do feel like men can be wimps though; maybe they all have their "thing". For mine it's a common cold. He has survived for years without a disc in his lower back, but can't handle the sniffles.
I have the opposite problem. My DH will only seek medical attention/take medicine/admit to pain when it is really severe. Usually he probably could have avoided it getting so bad if he had treated it right away instead of trying to "walk it off". Instead, I'll see him limping around or coughing for a week and have to demand he do something about it.
OP, I think you are extra-annoyed because you are pregnant. But I know some men just enjoy being babies.
Ah yes, this applies in my house too. Three summers ago, DH was hit in the back of the head (base of the neck) by a golf ball. He lost feeling in his arms for about 60 seconds. Then he finished his freaking round of golf. Men.
LOL. That's gotta be the longest 40 weeks of his life if he's not allowed to be sick or in pain while she's pregnant!
DH was pretty much unable to function for a year until I confronted him with the fact that he couldn't live that way anymore and he had back surgery.
I would be annoyed with him lifting something he knew he shouldn't be lifting, but I wouldn't call him a wimp for dealing with back pain.
Surgery isn't even an option for us.
DH is completely missing a disc. It's not empty, not dehydrated; it's gone. He's been to the best 3 surgeons in our area and not one of them will do a fusion until he's over 55. So they basically said "Do whatever you want now, while you still can." Nice, right?
Fortunately, "they" are working on a treatment for this issue now.. it's still experimental in this area, so we're not quite ready to jump on board yet, but maybe someday he'll get relief!
ETA: I didn't realize you were in A2. I'm just outside of Detroit.
I could have written this exact post (minus the preggo part!) about DH. He's always doing something he shouldn't have done (like moving 4000 # trailers by himself, picking up freezers, etc.) and then complaining that he hurt himself. He never takes so much as an Advil, much less takes it easy for a few days after he does something.
I used to feel sorry for him, but lately it's a little much. I've started reminding him that he's not 25 anymore, or calling a friend to come help him move something before he even has a chance to do it himself. And if he's not going to at least take something for the pain or sit down and rest, I tell him to zip it and quit complaining. So much for being a sympathetic wife!
Daisy, do you know why they wont do a fusion until he's over 55?
That's awful. DH had a slipped disc that was resting on a nerve.
The way he described it was that it felt like he was being shot in the hamstring on a regular basis. He also would completely lose feeling in his leg and had to rehab to regain muscle after he had the surgery.
Have you talked to anyone in Ann Arbor? DH's surgeon is one of the best in the country at what he does. I know he would need a fusion, but it would be worth a shot.
Because his missing disc is very low in his back (between L5 and S1, if I am remembering correctly) - the fusion will significantly cut his range of motion, and it's not guaranteed to work in his case.
We did see one Dr. at U of M. This is something we've been dealing with for a long time, and so much changes every day in medical science that we are always looking for new avenues, ideas and Dr's. If you wouldn't mind, maybe you could PM me the name of the surgeon your h saw? That would be really appreciated!
Done
I feel awful for your husband. Watching my husband deal with that back pain for a year was one of the worst things I've ever had to witness and I didn't even go through it!
Yuppers. I like you McRib, but back pain so bad it requires drugs is nothing to sniff at. I've been dealing with it for years and it sucks monkey balls.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Thank you!
Yeah, it sucks. He has good stretches and bad stretches. But since all the surgeon's agreed that he can't "damage" it any further, he is still allowed to do whatever he wants/can. He still golfs regularly, although he (finally) gave up hockey. It's a struggle sometimes, but he is a trooper.
Which leads me back full-circle to say: OP; goes easy on your man!!
oh man, dh is constantly wimping out over one issue or another. he is a great man, grwat dad, best husband/man ever, other than the fact that he is so dramatic/pathetic when it comes to anything health related. it so annoying i cant stand it. it is the only thing i would ever in a million yrs change about the man.
it's really pathetic. his mom is like that too, not his dad thouugh, he's the opposite.
i guess it's not uncommon for males to do this though, from what i've read on different bump/nest boards, although i do not know any other men irl who are like this.
super pathetic. if it's not one thing it's another.
i have some health issues that leave me in pain about 90% of my life. i rarely complain about it, unless it's worse than usual. i guess women handle this stuff better.
oh well. good luck, seriously it's so annoying to deal with so i feel your pain!
You used the word "pathetic" in relation to your husband 3 times in this post.
He must be one lucky man...
Daisy, first,. I said he is a wonderful man and great dad, etc. which he is, he is just pathetic in this ONE aspect. It's no secret. No one is perfect, and that is understandable. It is the only thing about him that isnt perfect.
he is actually a very lucky man, he says so all the time. and i am a very lucky woman, because aside from this topic, he is the best man ever, and i know it. it is no secret that it is pathetic for a full grown man (or woman) to whine about colds and stuff
jeez
I also empathize for back pain. My DH suffers from severe back pain, and has had surgery for a herniated disc. He has some nerve damage along his left hamstring to his foot along with occasional sciatica. His back issues are genetic (all five members of his family have all had at least one back surgery.)
I definitely do not think my husband is a wimp until it comes to the flu or cold. When he gets sick you'd think he was on death's door. And this winter he got hit three times with a cold, and I was at wit's end with his complaining and whining.
Lol. This.
My DH has back problems, shoulder problems, and knee problems. He's actually having surgery tomorrow on his knee. He's been in pain for weeks, but I haven't complained about it. I am also taking care of a very active almost one year old. I understand you are tired and worn out, but the man is in pain. It's not like he thought to himself "how can I pi$s off my wife today?"