WWYD? To tell or not to tell - UPDATE

MOHjen · June 2011

I'm not a fan of dishonesty and my H and I don't keep things from each other but I'm torn on this.

Maeve took her first steps today! Yay! But my H is in Minnesota at his Grandpa's funeral. Do I tell him or do I pretend it's the first time when he gets home and sees it?

If he was just out running errands or something I'd probably tell him, but I know he's already sad about his grandpa and sad that he's away from us.

I'm so torn!

Update- I ended up telling him. I sent him a video and said Maeve had a Father's Day surprise for him. He was happy I told him but sad he missed it. He liked the video because he could show his family. Of course this morning now that he's home, she wouldn't do it for him. I'm sure she will tonight though.

cmcmillan · June 2011

I would tell. Can you record it and have it for him to watch when he gets home? Or skype it to him while he is gone?

Maddimom · June 2011

I would tell. It might brighten his day a bit

way to go m!!!!

MSTie24 · June 2011

Go Maeve!!

Can you say something like "Wow, Maeve is super close to walking, it could be any time!" and see what he says? If his reaction is like, oh I'll be so sad if I miss it then don't say anything, but if he's excited maybe call him later and say guess what, she did it? How long til he gets back? And sorry about his grandpa.

kristalovesjared · June 2011

This happened when DH was working out of town with Ella. He already felt so bad about being gone 5 days a week for the past 3 months, that I decided to not tell him. I told him she was getting really really close, and then when he was home that weekend we cheered her on for her first steps. I don't keep anything from him either, but he just felt so bad about being away more than he was home, I thought it would hurt him more to know he missed her first step than to tell a little fib. I'm sure when she's older I'll tell him about it, but not for a while!

IkesHawaiian06 · June 2011

That's a tough one, but I would record it and tell him. Can you record it on your phone and send it to him? I bet he'd be sad that he missed it, but it might make him happy to see his little girl walking.

So sorry to hear about his grandpa, that's never easy to deal with. But yay for M for taking her first steps!

KNemo · June 2011

cmcmillan:
I would tell. Can you record it and have it for him to watch when he gets home? Or skype it to him while he is gone?

This! If you are brutally honest with one another, you will probably end up telling him anyway (at least I would). I think it might brighten his day to see a recording of her doing it! GL! This is a toughy.

kaskade · June 2011

I'm on the tell side. DH and I are also brutally honest and I wouldn't keep it from him and would get upset if he kept it from him.

Great job M!!

JodiLinn503 · June 2011

MSTie24:
Go Maeve!!
Can you say something like "Wow, Maeve is super close to walking, it could be any time!" and see what he says? If his reaction is like, oh I'll be so sad if I miss it then don't say anything, but if he's excited maybe call him later and say guess what, she did it? How long til he gets back? And sorry about his grandpa.

I think this is a great idea.

ATT&BTT · June 2011

I just asked DH and he said he would want to be told. I think that is what I would do too. :-) That is a hard one. Go Maeve! Great job!

keri1013 · June 2011

Yay Maeve! Since Max was so behind on gross motor, the day he finally crawled I picked up the phone and called DH immediately, didn't even think about waiting to tell him. I think either way is fine, but I would probably go ahead and tell him. I'm sorry about his grandpa.

doublem · June 2011

Go Maeve! What a big girl!

I asked my H and he said he'd prefer to be duped into thinking her first steps happened when he was there to see it. He doesn't see it as being dishonest, and says that if that happens to us, to not tell him until 6 months down the road or so. He said it would just make him sadder if he was in the same situation as your H is in.

My H also wanted me to pass along condolences to your family. We are sorry you're going through this.

StellaZ · June 2011

Yeah, just like any good daycare teacher I'd knock the kid down and delay the inevitable. We were both there for the first real steps - but he full on started walking across the room the next day at school. Oh well. Personally I'd say she's REALLY close and to please hurry home and do the whole "walk to Daddy" scenario. Today would have been awesome.

Want a personalized experience?

WWYD? To tell or not to tell - UPDATE

Re: WWYD? To tell or not to tell - UPDATE

Choose Another Board

Search Boards