Do you have to open the gifts in front of everyone?

Karmalife · June 2011

Okay- so my Mom convinced me to have a baby shower and while I'm excited about it I am wondering if it's standard procedure to open the gifts at the party, while everyone watches.

Would it be rude if I didn't? I don't like being stared at or watched like this- seems like it would be embarrassing or uncomfortable. I don't think I've done that since I was 8!

Thanks for the input.

EastCoastBride · June 2011

Pretty much yes. Showers are about gifts and people expect to see theirs opened. The fact that these people are buying you something and taking time out of their lives to come, it's the least you can do.

Karmalife · June 2011

EastCoastBride:
Pretty much yes. Showers are about gifts and people expect to see theirs opened. The fact that these people are buying you something and taking time out of their lives to come, it's the least you can do.

I understand your point- and that's exactly why I didn't want a shower. I never wanted to ask for gifts- that is not what the gathering is about, in my opinion. It's about allowing friends to be a part of this experience- I haven't seen a lot of them in years!

And it's sad to see it as people "taking the time out of their lives to come"- they are my friends for god sakes- if this is a burden then that is just sad!

Disneygeek77 · June 2011

No you don't have to but I honestly think it is the polite thing to do. One of the joys of giving someone a gift is being able to see their reaction when you give it to them. I know I enjoy watching people open the gifts I give.

I understand a lot of people don't like being the center of attention, but I feel it is just part of having a shower. It is called a shower because you are being showered with gifts. Remember when you open the gifts you don't have to make a big ruckus over everything, just plaster on a polite smile on your face, read the card, hold up said gift for everyone to see and say thank you. Maybe add in a little comment about how much you wanted said gift or how cute you think it is. It really isn't too hard.

FWIW, I was a little nervous before my shower because I feel self conscious when I open gifts. But I told myself to do the above and I really enjoyed my shower and I never had any problem finding a nice compliment for the gift.

Karmalife · June 2011

stw_77:
No you don't have to but I honestly think it is the polite thing to do. One of the joys of giving someone a gift is being able to see their reaction when you give it to them. I know I enjoy watching people open the gifts I give.

I understand a lot of people don't like being the center of attention, but I feel it is just part of having a shower. It is called a shower because you are being showered with gifts. Remember when you open the gifts you don't have to make a big ruckus over everything, just plaster on a polite smile on your face, read the card, hold up said gift for everyone to see and say thank you. Maybe add in a little comment about how much you wanted said gift or how cute you think it is. It really isn't too hard.

FWIW, I was a little nervous before my shower because I feel self conscious when I open gifts. But I told myself to do the above and I really enjoyed my shower and I never had any problem finding a nice compliment for the gift.

Thank you so much for the comment! You truly understand what I meant when I posted this. I will take your advice and keep that in mind. Thanks!

Disneygeek77 · June 2011

Karmalife:

EastCoastBride:
Pretty much yes. Showers are about gifts and people expect to see theirs opened. The fact that these people are buying you something and taking time out of their lives to come, it's the least you can do.

I understand your point- and that's exactly why I didn't want a shower. I never wanted to ask for gifts- that is not what the gathering is about, in my opinion. It's about allowing friends to be a part of this experience- I haven't seen a lot of them in years!

And it's sad to see it as people "taking the time out of their lives to come"- they are my friends for god sakes- if this is a burden then that is just sad!

If you just want a gathering perhaps a luncheon or BBQ would better for you. Just tell your mom to put on the invitation " No gifts please." This way you won't be burded with opening anyone's gifts.

Karmalife · June 2011

I didn't ask this because I see gift opening as "burden"- I ask because I have never been to a baby shower and I don't know what the rules/etiquette is or if things have changed over the years. I know in the past gifts were always opened at the party.

Disneygeek77 · June 2011

Well I suppose things might have changed; but again, in my opinion it is the polite thing to do. I figure if I genuinely enjoy watching other people open the gifts I give them, then others would enjoy the same thing too. Although it is never a burden to buy my friends and family gifts, I do put time, thought and effort into the gifts I give. To me, it is rewarding to see their reaction.

mben1119 · June 2011

Karmalife:

I understand your point- and that's exactly why I didn't want a shower. I never wanted to ask for gifts- that is not what the gathering is about, in my opinion. It's about allowing friends to be a part of this experience- I haven't seen a lot of them in years!
And it's sad to see it as people "taking the time out of their lives to come"- they are my friends for god sakes- if this is a burden then that is just sad!

Showers are, by definition, a gift-giving event. Not a get-together.

BallSox · June 2011

Yup. Part of a shower is holding up all the various outfits which you've not registered for and obviously hate (if you listen to most of these posts) and listening to everyone ooh and ahh and "oh isn't that sweet!!!"

The thing that cracks me up about these posts is that people assume that every single guest is going to be breathless with quiet and intense anticipation at each present. Every shower I've ever gone to, the M2B opens presents, people only half pay attention while eating, drinking or talking quietly with the people around them. It's really not as big of a deal as people make it out to be.

Yellow_Daisy · June 2011

I hate being the center of attention and especially don't like opening gifts in front of people (I even get stressed at Christmas opening gifts), the thought of doing it at a shower where I was already the center of attention stressed me out to no end. That said I opened every gift and dealt with my issues because I knew it was the right thing to do. This is one of those situations where you just suck it up and do something you don't want to do because it makes other people happy and that is all that matters. IMO they've taken time to buy you a gift because they are so happy for you and the least you can do is give them the joy of seeing you open it and appreciate it. I personally really like to see people open the gifts I give them.

Angel0423 · June 2011

yes. and when your child has a birthday party he/she needs to open the gifts, smile, and thank the guests. it's the same principle.

EastCoastBride · June 2011

BallSox:

The thing that cracks me up about these posts is that people assume that every single guest is going to be breathless with quiet and intense anticipation at each present. Every shower I've ever gone to, the M2B opens presents, people only half pay attention while eating, drinking or talking quietly with the people around them. It's really not as big of a deal as people make it out to be.

Exactly! I'm usually sitting w/ friends and we chit-chat while the gift opening is going on and we'll pay some attention, but not FULL attention.

SandNSurf · June 2011

at the shower - yes, open them. and have fun!

PunkyBooster · June 2011

Well, here is an idea.

How about if you have a table upon the entrance. When each guest arrives, you personally greet them, take the gift and open it right then and there. Display the gift on the table so other people can see what you have received.

I've only been to a bridal shower like this, but I'm sure it would work for a baby shower too.

ljtibbets · June 2011

PunkyBooster:
Well, here is an idea.
How about if you have a table upon the entrance. When each guest arrives, you personally greet them, take the gift and open it right then and there. Display the gift on the table so other people can see what you have received.
I've only been to a bridal shower like this, but I'm sure it would work for a baby shower too.

I like this idea. I am also pretty shy about opening gifts and I was a sweaty blushing mess at my showers. Also if you start passing smaller already opened gifts around it can distract people a bit as well.

KrisM86 · June 2011

I agree that opening gifts at your shower is the polite thing to do.

However, 110 people have been invited to mine (my mother is crazy and I hardly know many of these people...but that's another issue) and we're expecting at least 70-80 to attend. So I am not planning on opening gifts at the shower. Not only will it be in my mom's house where there is not a room that could hold everyone, it would take forever. I'll be opening them later and promptly sending thank you notes.

rhubarb123 · June 2011

Although I have never been to a shower where the mom-to-be did not open gifts I am sure there are some where they did not. I think it is pretty much expected. I would expect you to open the gift I brought and would request you do so before I left. I guess if you refused I'd just take it home with me. lol

IMO...it is one of those "adult" things you just do and get on with life.

If you are embarressd to open some gifts at your shower because people will be "looking at you"...do you have any idea how many people will be "looking at you" when you deliver? J/King.

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