CP: Are you having any help once baby arrives?

CactusGirl · June 2011

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starsjaime · June 2011

not to sure yet....I keep debating. DH will be home, he plans on taking off as much time as we need him too. and I love my in-laws and mother, but I'm kind of feeling that we might just want to get through the "Struggle" alone and not have any witnesses to us losing it!

but very debatable on what to do right now....

tinyjoys · June 2011

The last few summers, my sister has spent the majority of her time off with my husband and me. My mom works insane hours and doesn't have a set schedule at work (she's one of the big managers at on of the Home Depots in our area), so it works out well. She's 15, so she'll be able to help out some, plus she's so excited for her nephew to be here.

Mrs.Cords · June 2011

Both my in laws and my family live about 5 min away, so no one if we need something they are right there. I really don't want anyone to come though because Im a very I will do it myself person and while I would love help with the dishes I have a feeling my "help" would be here give me the baby while you do the dishes type help. So were doing it on our own and when people text to come meet baby well make them bring us food

CactusGirl · June 2011

The reason I posted this is because my MIL thinks I am absolutely NUTS for not wanting my mom to stay with us for the first few nights (which my mom is completely fine with that decision. I actually asked her if she could stay with me once DH goes back to work, which she thinks is a great idea).

My MIL always gives us the side eye when this comes up and is basically telling me that we can't take care of a baby without my mom there. What the heck?! I just don't understand. It isn't like we are teenagers and we haven't lived in the same town as her for 5 years, so we aren't dependent on her in any way whatsoever.

I just don't get what my MIL thinks my mom would be able to do that we wouldn't.... unless she starts producing milk, I think we will be OK. And yes, I KNOW the first few nights will be scary with a newborn, but that is how it will be no matter what. UGH my MIL!

Mrs.Leah.Maria · June 2011

My Mom will watch DS when needed, as he already goes to her house for daycare. DH will be WFH. We'll see how it all works out.

Steven&Jamie · June 2011

Before the nest/bump, it honestly never occurred to me that some people have friends/family stay with them to help out after their LO arrives. I imagine we'll have visitors on and off (I'm expecting my little sister to visit as much as she can before her fall semester starts), but we won't have anyone staying with us. I just don't think I want someone there while DH and I are figuring out this parenting stuff in the beginning, I'm sure it'll be tough/scary at times but we'll survive!

redhead2466 · June 2011

Yes, but more to take DD1 than anything. DH will have about a week off, then my mom has offered to come by a bit, and we are spending our vacation at my ILs in late August which will be fabulous. We can't really do much else with a newborn for vacay, so that will be a nice break.

When DD was new, I thought I wanted to have my mom around to show me everything, but really I found I wanted to figure it out on my own. Plus it was less stressful just being us at home.

ashleyrsotomayor · June 2011

This is an ongoing battle with us. All of our family lives out of state, and they are more than excited to meet LO, but I am feeling very protective of our time together with just DH, LO, and I. It's harder because if we get visitors, they stay at our house. It's not like they can just drive over for an hour or two. I finally got DH to agree to NO visitors the first two weeks while he is home so we can adjust to being new parents without an audience, and get plenty of bonding time with out a bunch of family members passing him around. I then asked my parents to come out when DH goes back to work so I am not totally alone all day with a newborn. I of course want my parents because I feel most comfortable with them and I will be getting used to bfing and recovering still. Plus, they are more than helpful and won't expect to be holding the baby 24/7. They will actually be doing a lot around the house to help me out. Now MIL wants to come out at the same time my parents will be here (even though her and FIL are coming for two whole months in December), and SIL is coming for a week in August. I am getting really upset and frustrated about having so many people here at the same time because I feel like even though DH promises that MIL and SIL will be helpful, and I know that they usually are more than helpful, they are just going to want to hold LO the whole time while I clean up after everyone. I don't know why I am so annoyed with this but I am. I also want to work on getting a routine established with him and I am afraid that if our house is like a hotel for a few weeks he is never going to get on a routine.

COMomma81 · June 2011

HECK YES!!! The help was a god-send the first time around and this time I know it'll be even more appreciated, even if it's just to help with my son.

Kristen61607 · June 2011

I voted yes and I'm thankful....but honestly I'm more looking forward to my mom's help than my MIL's. My MIL comes over 4x a week as it is to help because I'm on bed rest, and I'm getting SO sick of her. My mom also comes over but I'm just more comfortable around her (obviously).

But DH has to go back to work right away and with 2 babies and recovering from a c/s I know I'll need all the help I can get.

katiewhompus · June 2011

I voted SS. My parents live 2 miles away so my mom will be available if I need help after H goes to work. If we didn't live close to my parents my mom would have probably come over for a few days when H had to go back to work but that's it. We don't have a formal guest room and it would be pretty uncomfortable to have a parent stay with us for longer.

ConfuzzledTrish · June 2011

Yup, my parents are coming and staying at the house.

reesie4 · June 2011

No one is staying with us but most of our close family lives within one mile of us. We will need lots of help taking care of ds#1 so my mom will probably be here all the time. I am going to take all the help we can get, I am hoping they bring food like last time:)

indytara · June 2011

My mom is not able to come stay with us for a bit, even thought I'd kinda like her to...but thats one of the hazards living 5 hours away from each set of gparents. Sad

My MIL probably would come and I sure wouldn't mind it, but DH will be home and would rather it be just the "3 of us".

brenwick · June 2011

We're undecided. DH will be home a full week, it all depends on how I'm recovering from my c-section by then. If I'm still having a lot of trouble I may have my mom or sister-in-law come during the days. After all I have 3 other LO's that still need to be taken care of. But at the same time, they may be a big help too...we shall see.

I'm blessed to have a lot of family {and church family} around and available to help as needed.

MilMom2B · June 2011

If my DH was actually able to take his 10 days paternity leave then I'd probably only have my mom stay a day or two after the home birth. But, since he won't be able to take any time (except for during the delivery) without major consequences my mom will be staying for a couple of weeks. I'm super thankful. She'll feed me, help all 3 of us to adjust, and wants us to be able to get out of the house for dinner or a movie one night before she heads home. As stressful as my DH's job is I'm glad to have her help.

FrankieandTyler · June 2011

starsjaime:

not to sure yet....I keep debating. DH will be home, he plans on taking off as much time as we need him too. and I love my in-laws and mother, but I'm kind of feeling that we might just want to get through the "Struggle" alone and not have any witnesses to us losing it!

but very debatable on what to do right now....

i was just talking about this with our doula and she suggests for the first two weeks for the parents just to "figure it out." she said it's good for everyone because even helping hands can wear you out. i tend to agree i think. it's not like i'm going to actively tell people to stay away but i think it would be good for DH and i just to through ourselves into this and 'figure it out'!!

WashingtonQueen · June 2011

My mom and my little brother are going to come down for a few weeks and I am so happy! I already know that my mothers main focus will be to keep the house clean for me instead of interfere with the baby. My little brother will keep my two other boys occupied so that my fiance and I will have plenty of time for our new baby.

Wyoming Bride · June 2011

I live in Wyoming and my parents live in Louisiana. They are (thankfully!) coming out a few days after I deliver, but there is NO WAY I would let them stay with us. Our tiny condo could never accommodate them since the guest bedroom is turning into the nursery. Plus though I appreciate their help immensely, I don't know if I could handle having round-the-clock visitors. So they will stay elsewhere and I'm sure be lots of help. My mom has already said that even though she is thrilled to spend time with her granddaughter, her main goal is to help me by cooking and cleaning. Love her!!

oscarandlucy · June 2011

With my son, my husband and I had visitors for a solid 5 weeks. Both of our parents are divorced and remarried so everyone had to have a week and my dad took two weeks since he is in Hawaii. It was hard at times but overall I enjoyed the help although I would prefer not to do 5 weeks again - that was TOO much, but I felt like I could not deny anyone their time. No one was really a baby hog and they would help clean and cook and grocery shop.My son had really bad gas so it was helpful to be able to hand him off when your nerves were frazzled.

This time I suspect they will help more with our son. My dad has already planned a bunch of outings. We belong to a swim club - so he will take him swimming and to the museums and stuff. My son is going to have a hard time. He is not happy about new baby coming. He keeps saying - no mine to EVERYTHING and climbing into the crib and trying to get into the swing. Lord help me.

damabo80 · June 2011

Nope. My mom came out for three weeks after my c section, but we're not having any guests when we bring her home.

chelle_ann · June 2011

DH will take a week off once LO arrives. After he goes back to work, my mom wants to come and stay for at least a few days if not longer. I think she is excited...and I am sure I will love the company and extra help. She is a teacher and off for the summer, so a lot of it depends on when LO actually gets here how long she can/will stay.

rxy5309 · June 2011

Yes thankfully! My mom asked if we wanted to come to their giant house for a few days. I am not sure how excited DH is about this, but I don't care because my parents are awesome and will soil us, but stay out of our way and let us have our space. We have a tiny house without much room to move around so having lots of space will be nice. Plus she is going to cook for us and my sis is going to watch our pups. Also DH has saved up ALL of his vacation/sick time so he will be home for entire month! I love knowing we can tag out and take turns with everything plus it will be easier to get out of the house because I will be going stir crazy.

asheri · June 2011

I will have help I'm sure, but nobody will be staying over. Luckily I live really close to a lot of family members.

rose1883 · June 2011

Everyone in my family lives at least 30-45 min away. Everyone in my family thinks I'm nuts for having no one stay with me. I asked MIL when I thought LO was breech how flexible her work schedule was, as strangely enough she respects my space more than my own family. She told me that she had taken two weeks off from work but didn't want to tell me bc she didn't want me to think she was forcing herself on us- just that she was available if we wanted help. I thought that was a nice gesture and will probably employ her assistance, as she's good at laundry and doesn't cook- she buys take out

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