So, it's been a week... (long)

ABC-123 · June 2011

We only have 2-ish more weeks to wait to find out the results of DD's blood test. I am so anxious, stressed, worried, etc. I'm not even sure there are words to adequately describe how I am feeling; I guess I'm not even sure how I'm feeling...

Sometimes I am optimistic and feel that she is fine; I don't see the markers and sometimes they are all that I see. I think that I am going into a little denial because I am feeling more and more like she doesn't have it and I am worried that when the results come back and if they are positive I will be totally devastated and will have an even more difficult time.

Our pediatrician thinks there is a decent chance that she doesn't have it and if she does that it will be a mild case. Not even sure what a mild case ... I know that he says that she doesn't have the classic markers of a child with DS and the ones she has are inconsistent. Another pediatrician (friend's wife) looked over her pics on FB and basically agreed with our pedi. It gives me optimism, but I am afraid of being optimistic. I am afraid of how I will feel if it comes back positive. I feel like I was starting to figure out plans and think of how our lives were going to change and be semi-okay with it and now I have hope that maybe, just maybe she won't have DS...

Every second I am thinking about this, every second I am analyzing her, her pictures, her movements, her everything. I can't stop thinking about it. The only times that I am okay, that I am happy are when I am with my family and playing with my kids. Going to work is so hard...

Sorry so long... Only 2 more weeks to go.

nicolita14w · June 2011

I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. I wish they could get you the test results faster. I think the waiting is going to be the worst part. Once you have the results, you won't be questioning everything and you'll be able to move on, whatever the results may be. Remember, like someone (I think ela81) said, she's your same sweet little baby no matter what. If she has a certain condition, that's not going to change who she is right now. (((Hugs)))

Courted · June 2011

I am so sorry you are having to go through this! I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel, and I am sure the time is going by even slower than in a 2ww (which says a lots!). It is at least reassuring what your pedi said, so try to focus on that. (((HUGS))))

perry7285 · June 2011

the waiting must be so brutal. (((hugs))) hang in there, we're thinking of you!

njdcgirl · June 2011

((hugs)). I hope the next two weeks go quickly so you can get some definitive answers. I don't think it would be unusual for someone in your limbo to question and analyze every single thing. Sending you out lots of positive vibes. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

brideinOC · June 2011

Big hugs!!! We're all here for you! I love looking at all of the pictures on FB. So, soooo cute!

ABC-123 · June 2011

Thank you guys so much for your support. I really have NP where else to go with these feelings since we really aren't telling many people. I am just so worried for my sweet DD