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Sadly joining this board....

jennelynn5jennelynn5
in Single Parents

I am pregnant with my 3rd child (due dec 11th). I have been with my husband for 6yrs. Last week I moved out and we had a long conversation about taking a "break" and bettering ourselves. Being happy healthy people and learning to treat each other the right way and not let little things drive us crazy. Within 4 days of our break i have found out about 2 women. One woman was even PREGNANT. Of course over the four days our conversations all focused on him thinking I was trying to find someone else or cheat on him...HELLOOOO Im PREGNANT idiot!!!

Anyways usually the most accusing ones are the ones that do it themselves. So now at 14 1/2 weeks and with two younger children i find myself single and pregnant.

Only now...almost a week later is he singing the sad story of how much he messed up and how great of a person i am and blah blah blah.

 I have to set an example for my two daughters and my unborn child...but still i feel embarressed and "trashy" for going through the rest of this pregnancy and then ultimately being in the hospital HAVING the baby...and being single.

 

Advice is greatly appreciated.

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Re: Sadly joining this board....

  • eilatan&nhoj88eilatan&nhoj88 member
    I'm going thru a similar situation. I will be 10 weeks tomorrow. My husband and I have been married 3 and 1/2 years and together for 8 and 1/2. He is bipolar and has bad outbursts escpecially when off his meds. He does all this in front of our 19 month old son and yells and cusses at him and me. I've left for a week at a time a few times before and he always begged me back even again in feb-march. Then a month ago I moved out. He had only been home a few nights a week and only once a week when our son was awake. He had been staying some nights at a criminal's house. A week after I left I found out he had just moved in with his new gf. This woman is 31 and he is 22. She has a teenage son. She is someone I have met before and he used to think she was crazy. She is kinda psycho by the way and all the cops and judges know her. He purposely puicked her, i found out, because she has been with hundreds of guys and he said he knew he wouldn't be rejected. Then he cut us off financially and started making death threats. After a lot of drama and stalking and stuff I got the cops and everyone to agree to give me an order of protection. She plays it up on fb daily about how happy and in love they are after 3 weeks while he posts about being depressed and back on his meds and not liking wherre he's at but he won't tell her he's unhappy or leave her. I guess he just doeasn't want to be alone. His family has turned against me, blaming me for his depression. Now I have to wait for my divorce to go thru on July 8th, wait to find out when I go to court for custody,a nd wait for them to go after him for child support. Its supposed to work out so he only gets visits supervised by me or my mom if all goes as it should. It could take months to get child support. We are living with my mom and brother in a 2 bedroom apartment completely broke trying to make things work. He also left me with the utility bills from our apartment and all the cleaning and moving is up to me. I am very happy that I getto have another baby even if its without him, but it does make me sad knowing how people will look at me. They will either know I'm divorced and judge me or just see no ring and no father around and judge me. I know it will be hard at the hospital for me to deal emotionallybut I do have family support thank goodness. I am also trying to grow stronger in my faith in God through all of this. I've been a christian for a long time and one way or another God always answers my prayers. I do know tho that leaving was the best decision for me and my children. I also know I could never get back with him because I couldn't live with knowing he's been with another woman. Hope it helps to know you're not alone in being a single pregnant mom.
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  • achase123achase123
    Wow, hello double life!  I went through something similar at 8 mos pg.  I am so glad I left him and found this board.  It's a great support.  It's very difficult being a SP but much better than staying with someone abusive.  GL!
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  • cemacmilcemacmil
    Welcome, I know its not where you want to be but it sounds like where you need to be. I am 36 weeks pregnant and it has been just me now for 3-4 months, you should not feel embarrassed or trashy at all - you will get over the "stigma" sooner or later.
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  • cherryringpopcherryringpop

    I've been on my own since about 6 weeks pregnant. It's sad but you need to do what's best for your children.

    Plus, technically you're not alone. You have us now Big Smile

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  • soon2BMrsBamasoon2BMrsBama

    Honesty is my number 1 priority in life.....however in your case I might make an exception.  While NOBODY else's opinion of your situation actually matters, If it would make you help you get through the rest of your pregnancy and birth, how about telling people he's at home suffering from a brain tumor that makes him think he's single....or recovering from a boating accident.....or being detained in a foreign jail for spitting on the sidewalk....Nothing that would hurt your girls if they overheard, but reason enough for him not to be around. 

    I hope every day looks a little brighter :) 

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  • jennelynn5jennelynn5

    imageeilatan&nhoj88:
    I'm going thru a similar situation. I will be 10 weeks tomorrow. My husband and I have been married 3 and 1/2 years and together for 8 and 1/2. He is bipolar and has bad outbursts escpecially when off his meds. He does all this in front of our 19 month old son and yells and cusses at him and me. I've left for a week at a time a few times before and he always begged me back even again in feb-march. Then a month ago I moved out. He had only been home a few nights a week and only once a week when our son was awake. He had been staying some nights at a criminal's house. A week after I left I found out he had just moved in with his new gf. This woman is 31 and he is 22. She has a teenage son. She is someone I have met before and he used to think she was crazy. She is kinda psycho by the way and all the cops and judges know her. He purposely puicked her, i found out, because she has been with hundreds of guys and he said he knew he wouldn't be rejected. Then he cut us off financially and started making death threats. After a lot of drama and stalking and stuff I got the cops and everyone to agree to give me an order of protection. She plays it up on fb daily about how happy and in love they are after 3 weeks while he posts about being depressed and back on his meds and not liking wherre he's at but he won't tell her he's unhappy or leave her. I guess he just doeasn't want to be alone. His family has turned against me, blaming me for his depression. Now I have to wait for my divorce to go thru on July 8th, wait to find out when I go to court for custody,a nd wait for them to go after him for child support. Its supposed to work out so he only gets visits supervised by me or my mom if all goes as it should. It could take months to get child support. We are living with my mom and brother in a 2 bedroom apartment completely broke trying to make things work. He also left me with the utility bills from our apartment and all the cleaning and moving is up to me. I am very happy that I getto have another baby even if its without him, but it does make me sad knowing how people will look at me. They will either know I'm divorced and judge me or just see no ring and no father around and judge me. I know it will be hard at the hospital for me to deal emotionallybut I do have family support thank goodness. I am also trying to grow stronger in my faith in God through all of this. I've been a christian for a long time and one way or another God always answers my prayers. I do know tho that leaving was the best decision for me and my children. I also know I could never get back with him because I couldn't live with knowing he's been with another woman. Hope it helps to know you're not alone in being a single pregnant mom.

     

     

    wow. how similar. my husband too is bipolar and went off his meds and started drinking. his fabulous pick was a 18yr old pregnant (3 months) girl who also had a 2yr old son. (he's 27)I have always had some faith but have looked online for a church and found one that i am going to go visit this sunday. fortuantly i was always the one who worked so i am good finanically but i moved out of the house and into my moms small house to get away from him. its good to know when all this crazy drama is going on i am LITTERALLY not the only one dealing with it.

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  • shelliescove3shelliescove3 member
    I am almost 37 weeks pregnant... and moved out about two weeks ago. Just know you are not alone and were all here for you! :) Welcome!!! WE are all super single moms, or super single moms in the making! :)
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