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Pre-School and Daycare
ISO Tips for Bad Bedtime Behavior
Lurker coming out to ask for some tips!
We're struggling with bedtime in our house and after trying various methods, I feel a bit lost for any other ways to handle it. My daughter is 4 and goes to bed around 8:30 every night (and wakes around 7:00 every morning), then proceeds to spend an hour or two in her room talking, playing and singing.
I recognize that I can't force her to go to sleep, but I don't want her in there holding talent shows, either. We've evolved to bedtime rules that include lying down, being quiet and not getting out of bed unless she needs to go to the bathroom. The being quiet is the rough part, and I cannot seem to get her to settle down and hush up.
We've tried a sticker chart, which has worked well for fixing other behaviors other than this one, we've tried taking away things (books before bed, movies, TV watching, her bike), and we've tried spanking. Nothing seems to get through to her enough to stop her from belting out her songs (her current favorite is Mother Knows Best from Tangled) and reprimanding her imaginary friends who apparently aren't staying in the circle for circle time.
Is it simply a losing battle at this point and I should just be happy she stays in her bed and isn't screaming at the top of her lungs?
As an aside, she's generally well-rested and wakes on her own, so to be honest, her staying up for that amount of time doesn't seem to have a negative impact in that regard.
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Re: ISO Tips for Bad Bedtime Behavior
What about "coupons"? She's allowed 3 "coupons". She can call you upstairs for something 3x. After that, you won't come up. She has to give you a coupon every time you go to her room.
That might help........
Also, I don't understand why she can't play in her room before she goes to bed. My girls do that. As long as they're not screaming, it's not an issue.
Or, why not push her bedtime later since she's stalling and doesn't go to sleep at that time?
I can imagine how annoying this would get, but I have to admit - this post made me smile.
If it's not interfering with her mood the next day, I'd probably just shut her door.... then shut mine... and let her go for it. I can't imagine she'll keep it up forever. If anything, it might make her more determined to stretch the bedtime rules if you try to get her to stop.
One more thing... I'd try to record a bit of this. 5 years from now it will be hilarious.
ditto this
DD1 almost always plays for an hour or so in her room before finally going to sleep. As long as she's being quiet and stays in her room, I'm ok with it. And as long as it's not inferring w/ her wake-up time and being well rested all day. I figure the alone-imaginary-play time is great for her anyway 
I'm assuming she no longer naps? That is actually our problem with DD1... if she naps, she's up for hours playing in her room. If she doesn't nap, she passes out around 6 while I'm cooking dinner, then it's a PITA to get Miss Grouch up and she then crashes around 8:30.
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I would leave her alone if she is staying in bed entertaining herself. You can't FORCE a kid to sleep! My DS stays in bed playing for around an hour evey night! As long as he stays in bed and isn't screaming, I am ok with it. I actually think he really needs the down time alone. I imagine one day he will be up reading books in bed (when he is old enough to read). My DS still naps. Once in a while we skip the nap if we are out at a special even or something, and then he is OUT COLD by 7pm! I guess once he drops the nap, he will play less in bed... but for now, I think that him playing quietly is really appropriate and I am actually very proud of him that he can hang out and play on his own until he is tired instead of screaming and jumping out of bed!
We keep a stack of books and some quiet toys/puzzles by his bed to keep him busy until he falls asleep
Thanks for confirming my suspicions that I was being too uptight about it, and doing so without making me feel like a total a$$ about it
I'll need to talk to DH about switching gears, but after so many nights of fighting with her I was already feeling like "why on earth are we doing this?" The fighting hasn't changed anything except to make it all a more aggravating ordeal for US - it doesn't force her to sleep, so why bother?
I think I'm going to allow her more books before bed (we read to her every night) and lighten up on the bedtime rules regarding being quiet and not playing. She's pretty good about staying in her bed and not calling for us too often (if it gets out of hand we tell her not to call for us unless she's bleeding, puking or on fire - tongue in cheek of course, but seriously, yelling down the steps because the cat looked at her?), so I need a better sense of humor when it comes to her playing quietly by herself. Thanks for the perspective, ladies!
My dd also sings or talks to herself or "Fritz" for sometime before going to sleep. Sometimes I leave her with a book to look at if she is having a hard time being quiet. I'll do things like say "You need to sing softly or this is quiet time so you have to use your library voice" etc, but she is allowed her fizzle down time. We read storys, do a poem and pray and then lullabye and then I leave. My rules are she has to be in bed, lying down, but can have a toy, doll or book as long as the lights are out.
(She has a habbit or sneakily getting up turning the lights on and silently playing or reading for hours. Once I went to bed at 10:30 and found her asleep on the floor with teh lights on...)