invite list.. DH co-workers wives/girlfriends

KSauter717 · June 2011

My husband is a firefighter and his department has about 24 members. I am really close to with about 5 of the firefighters? wives/girlfriends. I was making up a guest list for my mother last night(she is the one throwing the shower) and my husband glanced at the list and told me to avoid ?drama? I should invite ALL the wives/girlfriends. I would not have a problem with this but that is an extra 15-20 people plus there are some wives/girlfriends that I have never met (and don?t even know their names).. Apparently, some of the wives/girlfriends were offended that they were not invited to my bridal shower and my husband got an ear full from them and their husbands? (most of the ones that complained were the ones that I barely know)? So long story short? do I invite everyone? I have been trying to explain to my husband that baby showers are for family and CLOSE friends and he says that he understands that but he would PREFER that I invite everyone so he doesn?t have to deal with the drama.. he also said I either invite all the wives/girlfriends or none of them (which is hard because the 5 wives that I want to invite are close friends ).. advice??

EastCoastBride · June 2011

Your DH needs to get a backbone and tells his buddies "She could only invite __ # of people and unfortunately can't invite everyone." Period. THEY are rude to be pissed about this.

You've never even MET some of these women. I can guarentee you that if you invite them, some of them will roll their eyes and peg you from ehre on out as the "gift grabby wife".

Does your DH want that?

This isn't anything for your DH to say, but when it comes down to it, if the firehouse feels their wives should ALL be invited, then these same wives can throw you a shower for the firefighter group.

LaTi07 · June 2011

My DH is a cop and I only invited 2 wives of other officers to my bridal shower. When one officer complained that his wife was mad she didn't get invited, DH replied with "Why would she be invited? They have never spoken." Your DH needs to man up and stand up to the guys when they give him grief about this. Inviting these women would be as stupid as inviting a stranger off the street. This isn't a fire fighter function, this is a personal function which means friends and family only.

5de5 · June 2011

Are the additional people going to be a problem for your mom? If not, I would invite them since it would be easier to avoid the drama.
If they would be too much of a burden, could you suggest to your DH to just have a "meet the baby" party with all his firehouse and their respective wives/GFs?

EastCoastBride · June 2011

LaTi07:
This isn't a fire fighter function, this is a personal function which means friends and family only.

Exactly. Good point.

KSauter717 · June 2011

5de5:

Are the additional people going to be a problem for your mom? If not, I would invite them since it would be easier to avoid the drama.
If they would be too much of a burden, could you suggest to your DH to just have a "meet the baby" party with all his firehouse and their respective wives/GFs?

My mom is too nice. she said its no big deal but she is having it at a banquet hall and she is paying $25/person! I just dont want her to spend all that money on people i dont know..

EastCoastBride · June 2011

KSauter717:
I just dont want her to spend all that money on people i dont know..

And she shouldn't. And your DH needs to realize this. This is a PERSONAL event for you. I think the idea of throwing a "meet the baby" party after the baby is born at the firehouse is a great idea.

quezzo · June 2011

I would tell DH that he needs to give your mom the money to pay for these additional people if he feels that strongly about it. That's like another $500 for people who you don't even know!

Jena6121984 · June 2011

quezzo:
I would tell DH that he needs to give your mom the money to pay for these additional people if he feels that strongly about it. That's like another $500 for people who you don't even know!

I agree with this...it's not fair to your mom to have to pay for total strangers to you.

weddingbells2010 · June 2011

Agreed w/ PPs... it would be one thing if you knew all of these women and had other "wives/gf" functions as a whole group of you, but to not even know them- or their names!- makes inviting them totally ridiculous. In fact, I think it would be very transparent that they were invited only because they asked to be, or made a stink about it, and that the invite wasn't sincere.

It's your DH's "fight"- he needs to tell his friends that if their wives want to be invited to things then they need to actually know one another.

dragon_chica · June 2011

Seriously? Did your DH's coworkers marry 10 y/os? This isn't a popularity contest and only the cool kids get invited to the parties. FFS they are clearly immature little girls if they think they need to be invited to every single event. Your DH needs to man up and tell his coworkers to knock it off and use some common sense. If you guys give in to their childish behaviors then you're going to have to invite them to your kid's birthday parties, baptism, what ever else you have.

varkeyr · June 2011

Invite who you want then have a meet and greet after baby is born. Your husband can inform them that is what you guys are planning to do. Or he could look at the guys that are upset and say"Thank your wife/ girlfriend for wanting to host a shower!" It will shut them up fast.

KSauter717 · June 2011

dragon_chica:
Seriously? Did your DH's coworkers marry 10 y/os? This isn't a popularity contest and only the cool kids get invited to the parties. FFS they are clearly immature little girls if they think they need to be invited to every single event. Your DH needs to man up and tell his coworkers to knock it off and use some common sense. If you guys give in to their childish behaviors then you're going to have to invite them to your kid's birthday parties, baptism, what ever else you have.

LOL!!! they act like this all the time!!!!

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