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I desperately need some advice?

dishy71dishy71
in Adoption
So we?ve been waiting since December for a match, which I know in my head isn?t very long.  In that time we?ve had two birth mothers change their minds before an official match was made (so it wasn?t as difficult as it could?ve been) and some special circumstance situations that we were shown for but not chosen. 

Then a couple of weeks ago our agency informed us that they were no longer accepting new families into their domestic program and would be eventually closing the program altogether when all of the current waiting families were matched.  I don't want to go into more detail than that except to say their international program will stay active.

Ever since this news, I?ve been wavering back and forth about cutting our losses and possibly moving on to work with another agency or a consultant.   I am the first to admit that I?ve not been the most patient person during this whole thing and I know that there are people who?ve been waiting way longer for their child to come to them.  But if the amount of birth mom?s that our agency is seeing is dwindling more and more?I don?t know.  I would hate to start all over and then have it be another year, but then I read the recent post about all of you who?ve had such great experiences with consultants (I've been lurking more than posting lately) and it makes me wonder. 

I know that the decision is ultimately ours, but if anyone has any insight or advice, I?d really appreciate it? (PM if you?d like).

TIA

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Re: I desperately need some advice?

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    MrsKolasaMrsKolasa
    YGPM
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Moved to Domestic Adoption 9/09 Matched 10/09 Sweet little Luke was born 12/9/09!
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    amm78amm78 member

    That's a tough situation.  I can understand your concern that there aren't many expectant mothers contacting your agency.  If it were us, we wouldn't be able to afford to cut our losses and go with another agency.

    Are you doing any of your own personal networking aside from what the agency is doing for you?  I know that a lot of successful matches come through networking.

    Good luck! 

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    Go_DawgsGo_Dawgs member

    Why not work with a consultant in addition to your current agency?

    We had a fantastic experience with our consultant, but if you have already jumped through all of the hoops with this specific agency and are ready for a placement, I'd hate to just walk away from that.  With a consultant, the bulk of the money isn't due until a match.  So if you work with both and end up matching through your current agency, you are only out the consultant's fee (which is usually around $2,000 or so). 

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    silliestbunnysilliestbunny member
    We were in your situation... giving up hope that we'd ever be matched with our original center.  (Our wait was a lot longer than yours... but I understand how you feel.) 

    I am sending you a PM.
    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
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    summergirl79summergirl79 member
    Hugs, that's tough! Not exactly the same but we were on a waiting list on unknown time frame to get into the pool of families with our (local) agency.  We were able to add another (national) agency to our process and were matched fairly quickly (awaiting birth of our son right now!).  I think if you are able to add another agency or consultant (if legal in your state), or network, etc it may help. For me I just needed to feel there was more chance of being selected, and then felt better. GL!!!
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