Got my IVF meds and burst into tears

charmcitygirl · June 2011

:::vent::: I don't want to do this. I don't want to give myself 5 shots a day and feel like a pin cushion. I don't want to worry about child care for my appts and ER and ET. I don't want to do this. I just want to have sex with my husband and make a baby. :::vent:::

I have been plugging along with this IVF cycle just fine. Most of the time I completely forget what I'm about to do. I'm on BCP and I've had b/w and u/s. DH had his SA. But it all came to screeching halt this morning when this GIGANTIC box of meds arrived.

As I was unpacking it, I was crying. I don't know why. I was coming to the realization that all of this is going to go into me. And all these shots are going in my belly.

I know it will all be worth it in the end, but at this moment...I'm just feeling overwhelmed. I just need to take it one day at a time and just breathe.

Can you guys keep reminding me of that in the next few weeks? Thanks!

Aaron'sAlli · June 2011

I feel your pain. The same thing happened to me. For some reason I thought it would be easier this time because we already had a baby, but it is not. There is something about that box of meds that does it to me everytime I guess. You'll be fine though. After a week it just became a "natural" part of the day- That sounds sick, doesn't it? Smile

GL!

Temp893722312503334 · June 2011

It does suck. IF sucks.

I feel the same way - I want a second child SO bad but I am just overwhelmed by the thought of doing the IVF process all over again. The meds, the logistics of it all...its just so much.

But...those little babies are so worth it.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

GuitaristsGirl · June 2011

((Hugs)) honey. I can't imagine how overwhelming it must have been to stare at that box. It's all going to be worth it, for sure. Keeping everything crossed for you!

mel72 · June 2011

I'm so sorry : ( It's overwhelming when all of those meds are staring you in the face. Wishing you the best of luck and yes, it will be worth it : )

stepgirl21 · June 2011

I'm sorry. I know it is so overwhelming. It sucks.

It will be soooo worth it and in 10 months or so, you won't even think about all the drama of IVF.

lnle · June 2011

(((hugs)))

Breathe.

One day at a time.

It's only a few weeks (well, and then lots of weeks of PIO once you're pg).

Hang in there!

Mouseygail · June 2011

I'm so sorry that this isn't easier

((((HUGS))))

LucyPevensie · June 2011

TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. I can't even get my asss in the door to start testing. I just totally blew off CD 3 b/w and u/s this month. Just couldn't do it. Am too resentful, reluctant, disbelieving that I need to do treatments, again, to make another baby (maybe. Or spend 3-thousand dollars on another inj/iui and have it fail.)

So - we're still having TTC sex every month, for now. And that's it. And I honestly can't say I will pursue any further treatment, come what may. Something inside me just can't get my head/heart around it.

Sorry to go off on my own crazy rant - but you are WAY AHEAD of me and you're going to do FINE. GL mama!

artygirl · June 2011

I think that IVF for #2 is so much more difficult since I have a toddler. The meds make me much crazier than I remember them making me when I was trying for #1 and I feel like I am such a grump to my little sweetie. It is tough and I sympathize with you.

The only thing I can suggest is to try to do something for YOU immediately following every appointment...get a decaf latte from Starbucks or windowshop at a favorite store before going back home.

MsAMG · June 2011

I felt the same way when we started the last one - well - and the one before that too. I just hated the whole process and when the medicines show up - it's just an ugly reminder of the crap we have to go through. If it makes you feel any better though, this time seemed to go much faster than the two previous times. This cycle seemed to fly by - maybe because of the season and the fact that there's so much going on, but that made it easier. Now this waiting until the first trimester is over sucks. You'll be done before you know it!

LVBlvd · June 2011

A - I totally get it! Doing it all again is very overwhelming. There are so many things going on: how will I logistically do this with an older child to care for, what will the meds to do me, what if it doesn't work, holy shiit, what if it does work? It is just a lot.

But the good news is - it will go fast, then it will be over. And hopefully you'll get a beautiful new baby out of it!

crystaleyes39 · June 2011

charmcitygirl:

:::vent::: I don't want to do this. I don't want to give myself 5 shots a day and feel like a pin cushion. I don't want to worry about child care for my appts and ER and ET. I don't want to do this. I just want to have sex with my husband and make a baby. :::vent:::

I have been plugging along with this IVF cycle just fine. Most of the time I completely forget what I'm about to do. I'm on BCP and I've had b/w and u/s. DH had his SA. But it all came to screeching halt this morning when this GIGANTIC box of meds arrived.

As I was unpacking it, I was crying. I don't know why. I was coming to the realization that all of this is going to go into me. And all these shots are going in my belly.

I know it will all be worth it in the end, but at this moment...I'm just feeling overwhelmed. I just need to take it one day at a time and just breathe.

Can you guys keep reminding me of that in the next few weeks? Thanks!

I'm soo sorry, and I really know the feeling! I did my first IVF cycle in May and i had numerous melt downs, especially on the day of the ER which I was super nervous for. All of the B/w, U/s, shot giving and feeling like constant crap seemed never ending but looking back now all of it was worth it! I got my BFP that I wanted and I'm now 6 weeks pregnant! You just have to keep reminding yourself what youre doing this for and like i say in my siggy..."nothing worth having comes easy."

Good luck hun!

BeccaLandes · June 2011

I know the meds are overwhelming, and I wish I could make a baby by having sex, too. But as you know, when you look at your little boy, you don't remember the pain and the shots, you only know how much you love your child. It will all be worth it. It's not fair, but it's worth it.

emmyloustu · June 2011

((((hugs))) hang in there, one step at a time!

elisem42 · June 2011

when do u start the stims??...i am due to start this coming week as well.....waiting on a lupron period that my doc said i may never even get...!

we will be okay...this is my first ivf as i am in the secondary infertility category so i am confused, scared anxious etc.

the boxes of drugs are BIGGER than the actual drugs themselves...that's what i keep telling myself:)

cheekyali · June 2011

One day at a time! Before you know it the box will be empty.

MyShellyBelly · June 2011

(((hugs)))

I know how overwhelming those boxes can be, but just keep your eye on the prize and know it will be worth everything you have to endure!

JillRock96 · June 2011

(((HUGS))), honey. It sucks, big time. But it is sooo worth it. Any time you need a boost, just look at Jacob and think of the awesome gift you are working so hard to give him.

armywife76 · June 2011

I was kinda excited about this last box, but I think this will be me next time. I dread everything about it, especially now that I know a baby is not guaranteed at the end. It just sucks in every way, and I'm sorry we all have to go through this. ((hugs))

Ktwo09 · June 2011

Wherever you are right now, stop - and go look at your little boy. IF sucks, but when he makes you smile, laugh, gives you hugs or says "I love you" you don't remember the pain or the shots. In the end, your pain will make you are stronger more capable mother - and IT IS WORTH IT.

((hugs))

nicolita14w · June 2011

(((hugs)))) to you, sweetie. It will all be worth it in the end, but I know how hard it must be. I will be thinking good thoughts and sending lots of sticky BFP dust your way.

newsbaby · June 2011

Nothing about this is fun. I don't blame you for being upset but just think of what the end result could be. That is why you are doing this. Hugs!

wvagirl · June 2011

Right there with you sweetie. I'm getting ready to do IVF again at the beginning of July and for some reason when the receipt (I paid over the phone) for the cycle came in the mail the other day I burst into tears. I'm sure it's going to be even harder to see the giant meds box again. I'd just like to make a baby without a ton of needles...and money. Hang in there.

yankee42 · June 2011

Aww lady, I'm sorry it is so overwhelming

It is so worth it, and when you get that BFP, and when you hold jacob's little brother or sister in your arms, it will FEEL so worth it.. Big (((hugs)))

crystalgirl · June 2011

Ugh, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I didn't expect it to be a big deal this last time, but for some reason, it seemed MORE overwhelming to me than it had the first time. So, I totally get where you're coming from. BUT it did go by faster, and I didn't have the exhaustion on the stims that I'd had the first time...that didn't come until I was pregnant...haha!

Hang in there, hon. You can do this!

foxybride · June 2011

Totally 100% get it! I am in complete denial of what I'm doing right now and my ER is Thursday! EEK! I am just in a mode right now where I drive to the doctor, get my u/s and b/w, drive to work, get the call, write down the results/directions and repeat two days later. It has not hit me yet what I'm about to do and how much money we just spent on it. I think it's a defense mechanism so that if it does not work, I can just pretend like it never happened.

Good luck!

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