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When is good to tell "The Masses"?

TheMakalsTheMakals
in 1st Trimester

I posted this elsewhere as well... 

We are trying REALLY hard to wait till 6/23, which is when we will have our first appointment.  Most of my family doesn't live near so it has been easy not to mention, however, the other side, they not only have the largest mouths of any family (they are all women, sisters) we see them regularly.  We will be seeing them this weekend for a Father's Day gathering.  I do not want to tell on Sunday, because I do not want to take away from the wonderful men, especially my brother who will be there, and is a new father. But it is getting increasingly harder to not tell.  We agreed to each tell one person, and we have, our bffs also because they will not be in contact with our family as regularly.  But waiting till Thurs. is hard, with everyone asking what we are up to, not having talked to us recently, etc.  We just want to make sure all is well and give an accurate DD considering my cycles (although regular since 13) happen every other month.  The doctor is "guestimating" currently based on missing back in April....  So I think we are just thinking that we could be due in Feb but it could actually turn out to be late Jan as well and want to avoid, "retelling"....

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Re: When is good to tell "The Masses"?

  • mommybrynnmommybrynn
    I am a big believer in waiting until the 1st trimester is over before telling anyone.  We lost our first at the very end of my first trimester the first time around, and it was HELL having to explain to everyone that something had gone wrong and the baby was no longer with us... torturous.  I know some people want support if they DO lose the baby, but I found that the constant explaining was brutal and took a huge emotional toll on both DH and I.  That being said, you sound like you want to tell people and if that is what you want to do, then I think  you should go ahead and do it.  I just know from my own experience that even after hearing that heartbeat the first time, things can happen, and had we waited until after that first tri ultrasound, we would have saved ourselves an immense amount of pain and suffering.  GL with whatever you decide!
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  • Leggett44Leggett44 member
    I know that some people wait until after the 1st trimester, but I am only 4 weeks and we have let just about everyone know.  I have been to the dr to confirm, not for my 1st appointment, just to confirm.  I feel realitively comfortable letting the news out.  We have been very fortunate and we have not had any losses.  Our daughter is 5.  This is our second.  I believe that it is totally up to you and how comfortable that you feel telling people.
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  • Karen1998Karen1998 member
    Tell when you're ready to tell.  Keep in mind that there is no "safe" time in pregnancy.  Just because you make it out of the first tri doesn't mean you won't lose the baby.  Also keep in mind that you may have to untell people at some point, so tell accordingly.  It's really all about figuring out what you and your DH are comfortable with.
    BFP#1 4/17/10...EDD 1/6/11...M/C 5/28/10 BFP#2 11/19/10...EDD 8/4/11 Squeaker born 7/30.
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  • ella.mabelella.mabel member

    My motto is that i'm ok telling the people that i would lean on as support if something horrible ended up happening.  For me, that's a couple of friends, my mom, and my sister in law. Then, after the first dr appt, which i think is around 8 weeks, i'll probably tell the rest of the family, then coworkers after 1st trimester. 

    I don't see anything wrong with telling the whole family early if that's what you want to do, but for us, my husband's family is so HUGE that i don't want the whole world to know quite yet.

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  • Ya Never KnowYa Never Know member
    I told my parents, and DH's parents the same day our digi came out positive. They knew about our issues with IF though, and were waiting for the news with baited breath. We're not telling anyone outside of our immediate family until the 3 month mark though.
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