LGBT Parenting
PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
Come on in and share your Pre-Conception Planning/ Trying To Conceive/ All Things Parenting updates!
QOTD: What is your ideal family size? How has your own upbringing influenced your thoughts? Do your thoughts on ideal family size match your partner's?
married 03/08/08 -- ttc with PCOS (dx 2005) & DS
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
This discussion has been closed.
Re: PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
L is the oldest of 4 and I am an only child. Long ago, we both agreed on 2. L thought that 4 was too many (she ended up raising her last sibling), was older when we started having kids, and felt like 2 was manageable. I always wanted a sibling and was fine with 2 kids. We said from the beginning that twins would be great - a two for one (and done) deal. I kicked myself for jinxing ourselves with twins a few times those first few years, but I am so glad that that is the way it happened! I am not sure either of us would have it in us to go back to diapers/3am feedings/etc for another go 'round!
I love the dynamics of large families (think Brothers and Sisters), but I don't think I was cut out to actually raise 5 children!
All is well here. Both girls are enjoying the summer break and are bonding like crazy.
QOTD: We would like to adopt at least 2 more (boys), possibly 3. Four/five children is a lot but we feel like it's a good number for us.
I grew up with one brother and one sister (Dad remarried when I was 20, added 2 step sisters and my little brother came along 5 years ago) which was fine by me. I have always been a loner and would have felt crowded had there been more of us.
J has 2 sisters and a brother, they are all a few years apart in age. J loves having a big family and it shows in how many kids she wants.
We both agree on having a larger than average family, people say we are crazy but if the Duggars can have 19 (not sure if they've added more) than we will be just fine with 4 or 5.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
Family size: We both want two. I joke about three, but DW doesn't laugh. I have one sister (6 years older), and DW has two sisters (one 4 years younger, one 8 years younger). I am very close to my sister and would be sad to not give our child a chance at that sibling relationship. I think DW feels no more than 2 because we have limited money and patience. Ideally we would space our kids 4 years or so, which I'm sure is based on the spreads in our families. (Funny though, since my parents did not intend for us to be so far apart, and her parents had only planned on the first two.) We're both pretty terrified of having twins (expensive, risky pregnancy, hard first years, bigger life change all at once) but I think in that case I'd still want to try for a third.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
Jay and I both had our bloodwork done last week. Today we found out her dr. did every test under the sun besides cmv and blood type which were the only reason she even had the work done. So now she has to have more blood work done which delays choosing a donor and ordering swimmers. We both are beyond annoyed.
QQOTD: We want at least 2 children so we both can have a chance to carry. We've talked about having 4 but we will see how things go after the first two.
I'm the oldest of 3 girls we're all 3 years apart. It was nice growing up with siblings but with an odd number at times one of us usually felt left out. For that reason we've decided on either two or four kids. Jay is an only child and says she was often lonely and always wanted siblings growing up, so for us we know one and done is not an option.
Married my best friend 5*15*2008 Trying to start our family 8*2011
unmedicated iui#3= bfp 10/20/11! beta#1=11, beta#2=85, beta#3=741,beta#4=1000,beta#5=2146,beta#6=7454 *please keep doubling*
One of the questions I've always struggled with because it doesn't mesh with DW's opinion. I want 2 children, but I don't know if it will happen (advance age). I grew up with my younger brother (we're 1 1/2 years apart). We're somewhat close to each other. I also have a brother whom many have assumed he was my son (18 years apart). My DW is the youngest in her family, so she understands the reasoning why I don't want our LO to be the only child. However, she doesn't have the energy/strength to see more children in our home.
I hope we will be able to TCC again this fall when she is feeling better from her back surgery (and hopefully, we'll have a house...). Thinking good strong thoughts....
I don't want to talk about how I am right now, but I'll answer the QOTD: we are on the same page. both of our ideal family size is 2 parents, 2 kids. we would be both be absolutely fine with 3 children, but that's not what we've envisioned for our family. if she had carried twins we would have been done at that point. I think, from discussions we've had, that we've both always seen our families this way even before we were together.
she has two siblings, a brother and a sister, and she and her sister have a close relationship but are both estranged from their brother. I grew up in a house with one sister, but I have two brothers as well (step from my dad's first marriage, that were old enough to be out of the house when my parents married but young enough that we are all close) and my bio-father had 4 step-children that I saw sometimes when I was younger--about as often as I saw him, and honestly probably more so with the lack of attention he gave us and as little as he was actually there. I would guess that the fact that both of us have one sibling with whom we have a close bond probably does have some effect on our ideal family size.
Blue I am sorry things are so rough right now. Hugs
Things around here are good. Wrapping up school and ready to be on vacation. E will drop to 2 days/week for daycare which will be nice but we still will have some time each week for some down time which is good since we have so much to do for packing. We are trying to get a moving co right now and darn are they expensive. E is so cute right now. Her new thing is to say the following phrases "let's go!" and pumps her fist into the air and "let's see, let's see". It is super cute. We also had a toddler argument of me say No Ella, No Ella and her responding Si Mama, Si Mama. I think it is a bad sign that my child is now back talking in two languages!
QOTW: I think our family will be done with 2 kids. Next summer/fall we plan on trying again with dw. When I was pregnant with E we talked about having three but that is just not going to happen. It all will depend on what the mfm tells us. DW has hypertension already so our pcp wants us to consult first and lay all the cards on the table to see which one of us is the least risk of pregnancy. If she says dw is not a good candidate we might be one and done as I am pretty sure she will say that I am a very bad candidate for another pregnancy. I have total baby fever right now though!
ATP: We celebrated Eli's birthday yesterday and he was really cute. I made a carrot cake that we let him go after--he was smacking the frosting and laughing really hard. It was awesome. He seemed to like eating it too
Kel's parents surprised us and came over for it. We are having a family party in a few weeks, but it was great to have them there for his actual birthday.
QOTD: I am one of 6 and Kel is one of 3--both are blended families. 6 is definitely too many for us. My folks were/are great parents, but it is really hard to do anything beyond survive having that many kids. I want to have the luxury of more time with each of my kids. I think Kel would love to have 3--I know she would love to be pregnant again. I always thought 2 was perfect. Now that we have 2, all we know for sure is that we are not going to get pregnant again right away. We are definitely in survival mode right now, but I am not sure that either of us feels 100% done.
TTC: We are just waiting...PG test scheduled at the doctor's on Monday. Jen does not want to test on Sunday night, although I think it would be nice b/c we'd be together. I know the home PG tests aren't perfect, but I think the chances are pretty good that we'd get an accurate answer at two weeks out. Leaving it up to her though.
QOTD: We are both from families of 3 kids, so it's probably no surprise that we are planning on 3. We're both open to 2 or 4 though, depending on how TTC and the pregnancies go. Both of us want to carry, so barring unknown problems with that, we'll have at least 2. I'm close to both my brother and my sister, and she is close to one of her sisters, and those relationships mean so much to us. So while I understand why many of our friends have chosen to just have one, it's not something we are considering.
This made me LOL! That was us exactly 2 years ago....
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
Updates...I don't know where to start or when to stop!
The Kiddos go to the ENT specialist tomorrow...I am a little concerned b/c Peanut will probably need tubes. I know I shouldn't worry about anything, but that's my Peanut...and if Little Man needs them also, then I would say, but that's my Little Man. You might say I am a little overly protective.
Other than that, their sleep patterns aren't the best but I blame that on their teething. Those teeth are coming in fast and furious!
QOTD (C I hope you answer also)
I am set. But there are so many variables that play into that answer. Finances, space, quality educations, and my age. DD had the opportunity to go to her choice of college, but she chose the Armed Services after one year of school. Now we have two Kiddos we need to be able to get through college, let alone (the strong possibility of) private school. Daycare alone takes a chunk of change.
I am not a Spring chicken, nor am I the healthiest of beings. (Unfortunately, all chronic ailments both my Mother and father (has/had) I inherited.) I want to be able to enjoy these Kiddos. If C and I were to try again it wouldn't be for another year or so...gulp! Nah, I am pretty set.
Does this match C's thoughts...hopefully she will answer that.
This week we are focused on survival. I'll leave it at that.
QOTD:
What is your ideal family size? It used to be 3, but now I have 3 and don't feel done. So 4? more?
How has your own upbringing influenced your thoughts? DW and I both have a brother and there was never a question that we would try to have more than 1 so our child could experience a sibling. I didn't love being one of two kids - there was a ton of rivalry and competition that hurt our relationship. I always wished I had more siblings and knew I would want a big family when I got older.
Do your thoughts on ideal family size match your partner's? No. Its a constant source of tension.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
What is your ideal family size? 3 or 4. I always wanted a big family. I am 5 yrs apart from my brother and don't have any cousins my age.
How has your own upbringing influenced your thoughts? see above.
Do your thoughts on ideal family size match your partner's? No. She thinks 2 is plenty. I tell her they'll get bored at holidays (she grew up with all these cousins). We'll probably try for a third when the twins are 2 or 3.
Ky is getting better and better and standing on her own! We are well on our way to walking...if only crawling were not so much faster!
Her new thing is talking. She has always been chatty baby but lately we have words! She now says "dow" when she wants down or she puts something down. She has also started calling DW, "dada" which amuses me so completely. We have no idea where she got this from or when she decided to start using it but use it she does.
Our other challenge is biting. Ky bites. Ky bites and thinks it is hilarious. Thankfully at this point in time it is limited to biting the mommies and her mamaw, not other babies or caregivers.
No bfn for DW this month because AF showed up right on time....sigh.
QOTD: We would both love HUGE families with 5/6+ kids. With that being said we are realistic about what is AFFORDABLE. We have agreed to 2/3. I would be perfectly happy with one but Ann is hard set on a boy lol.
E is having an up and down week, last night she was SO tired we skipped bath in lieu of an earlier bedtime. Our happy morning today just proved how much she needed that. Of course she goes to her dad's tonight and then on Friday for the weekend, so that will probably backfire on me but I'm going to keep doing best by her needs.
What is your ideal family size? How has your own upbringing influenced your thoughts? Do your thoughts on ideal family size match your partner's?
Hmm...my answer is a bit complicated by many things. I was diagnosed with MS just 12 days after E turned one. Fortunately I am doing well *knock on wood* but I worry about taking care of E if something goes awry. Also since they don't know if MS is genetic I worry about passing it on. I'm ok with having just E. Lately she's asked a lot about having a sibling and that is hard and hard to explain to a 5 year old. We have a close friend whose son E is bonding with who I hope will become her "little bro" over time after we move closer to them next year. I have one brother 20 months younger and growing up we were often playmates though we are not as close now. My gf doesn't have any kids of her own but she is ok with having a partner who does (her last gf had two). When we were first dating she told me "at our age you can't expect to meet someone who doesn't have kids" (I'm 35, she's 42). We are happy with our little family of 3.
Great question today!
My ideal, if money and time we're such huge factors, would be around 4 (3-5). Realistically, we've agreed on two, about 3 years apart. I have 7 siblings (and lots of cousins), and have always wanted a large-ish family. C's ideal is 1 or 2. For awhile I tried to convince her to consider 3, but even 2 seems like a lot to her sometimes. I definitely want to be pregnant more than once, and would prefer not to have twins, both for that reason and because I work with lots of twin families and know what all it entails in terms of challenges that my clients face. I know that C and I could do it but would rather have one at a time. We've talked briefly about my being a surrogate after we're done having our own, and once our kids are a bit older, we may explore fostering.