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Success after IF
Happycouple
member
WWYD..re. DS's birthday party invitees. Rude?
Happycouple
member
DS has his 3rd b-day party coming up. Initally I wanted to just invite immediate family and his 'friends' that are his age that we see during the week during various playdates or whatever which would total about 6-12 kids and their parents.
We have a lot of other friends in addition to the playdate families...some with and some without kids. Their childrens ages vary. We cannot afford to have a party for ALL of our friends right now...it woud be like 30-40 people. Is it rude to invite just the friends with kids? Dont invite any of our closest friends at all and just have his playdate friends and their parents? A close friend who has a 6mo old asked me recently about DS's birthday and I told her it was going to be a small family and playdate friends kind of thing. I was super nice about it. She voiced that she was bummed out that they werent invited and wants her son and DS to play together one day etc. I ended up calling her later in the day cause I dont want her to be bummed or have her feelings hurt. I told her it was not personal at all, but I did end up inviting her.
Anyways, long story short, I have been to recent kids parties where it is really just the childs 'friends' and not all the parents friends as well. I THOUGHT this made/makes perfect sense, but now Im not so sure. WWYD? Invite everyone of our closest friends? just the ones with kids? Just a select few with kids? ugh. I just dont want anyones feelings to be hurt, but dont want to spend $500 either.
Severe MFI resulting in IVF/ICSI #1 in Nov 2007. BFP!!
Our beautiful son was born July 2008.
2010: 2 IVF's,1 FET = 2 BFN's, 1 c/p
Feb 2011-Unmedicated FET= BFP!! DS #2 born Oct 2011!!.
Our beautiful son was born July 2008.
2010: 2 IVF's,1 FET = 2 BFN's, 1 c/p
Feb 2011-Unmedicated FET= BFP!! DS #2 born Oct 2011!!.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WWYD..re. DS's birthday party invitees. Rude?
I strugled with this last yr too. I ended up inviting his friends, plus friends with kids. We had it at a big kid play area and it didn't make much sense to invite DH's family and our friends without kids when we would be busy with the party and not really able to socialize.
I think as kids grow up the focus SHOULD be more on them, and thier friends than on the parent's friends. When exactly that happens though, I am not sure.
Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin.
For the longest time we were the "good friends" who didn't have kids- we were always invited to our good friends kids birthdays. Yes it was a little strange to be the only ones there without kids, but on the flipside if we were not invited I would have been hurt. I think you should invite your good friends kids or no kids and cut down some of the ones who aren't your closest friends even if they have kids.
I would rather have my closest friends at my kids party, then a bunch of playdate parents and their kids.
Anyway you could cut costs, maybe just do cake and ice cream and invite everyone?
So far we have been inviting our friends with or without kids... since as long as their are kids my daughter is happy. Plus her cousins and our friends kids are her friends as far as I am concerned... we are not inviting any kids from her daycare which she also calls her friends. I guess when kids can come to a party without their parents it will be more about her friends and whichever friends she picks to invite.
My friend who doesn't have kids was not invited to our mutual friends son'd 1st bday party and her feeling were kinda hurt. Especially because she wants kids and just feels left out of the 'club' so to speak....
very true
Our beautiful son was born July 2008.
2010: 2 IVF's,1 FET = 2 BFN's, 1 c/p
Feb 2011-Unmedicated FET= BFP!! DS #2 born Oct 2011!!.
I get what you are saying....except that I am actually friends with the the moms of the kids he sees during thr week. I just want to make the party more about HIM and less about US
Our beautiful son was born July 2008.
2010: 2 IVF's,1 FET = 2 BFN's, 1 c/p
Feb 2011-Unmedicated FET= BFP!! DS #2 born Oct 2011!!.
I would limit, limit, limit! For DS's3rd b-day we only invited 4 of his male friends and his cousin. There was a girl I would have liked to invite, but I didn't want her to be the only one and I didn't want to invite another girl because if I invited her I'd feel obligated to invite a whole other subsection of friends with kids.
I also only put his friend's name on the envelope. Of course other siblings were fine but 1) I think it is fun for children to receive mail addressed to only them even if they can't read yet. 2) It starts the parent thinking about finding childcare for the sibling.
This year we plan to keep the exact same guest list of 5 boys because there are 6 siblings between them.
I'm a big fan of the theory to invite as many guests as the age of the child. I obviously went over that by 2 but it still worked out well. Too many children can be overwhelming for some children I've noticed.
This year we opted to invite his friends from school and our friends with kids near the same age (within 1.5 years, approximately). That was still too many (20 kids, including siblings)! Next year we'll have to figure out another way to scale back.
I don't think it's rude at all to set restrictions like this. You can't invite everyone, or it just gets out of hand. I think your friend with the 6 month old is probably just anxious to start being included in birthday parties and hasn't thought it through...