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Food and milk consumption - WWYD? Help - long
DD would drink only milk all day long, fill up on that, and eat practically nothing if we let her. She's never been all that interested in food, but she will eat a handful of things if they're put in front of her. She'd just rather have milk, though. Lately she's been particularly picky. Normally I wouldn't worry about it (you know, the whole "they eat what they want and need, when they're hungry" theory) - but there are days when she's eaten NOTHING (and I'm not exaggerating - like, pretty much one or two bites of something all day long) and just throws fits begging for milk.
We do try to limit her milk intake to about 16-20 oz/day so that she'll eat *something*. But even that something is limited - strawberries, tortilla chips, cheese, egg noodles, and occasionally a little broccoli or a few bites of toast. sometimes a half a chicken nugget. That's it. I'm not kidding.
I'm really tired of cooking two meals - one for us and one for her. Granted, I don't really "cook" her meals since all she eats are the above and the most I have to do is boil some noodles. But still, it's really unnerving to me that she refuses almost everything to the point that she will start screaming and throw it off her plate. I would really like to just serve her the table food that we eat - 99
% of which is toddler friendly or can easily be made toddler friendly by cutting it up smaller (like grilled chicken) or avoiding a lot of spice. But she won't eat it. We've tried dozens of times, even with the expectation that it sometimes takes up to 15 tries to get a toddler to try something. I do often give up before we've reached that point, simply because it becomes such an epic meltdown to even suggest something to her.
Any advice? I'm considering just putting my foot down about the milk and only giving her the 16 oz a day and only serving her toddler versions of whatever we're eating. I know there will be many, many meltdowns and one very hungry little girl for a while, but do I need to just suck it up and do this? WWYD?
I swear I did everything the way the doctors and experts and books suggest as far as introducing food and preventing picky eaters...it clearly all backfired on me. I feel like I have been a complete failure at feeding my kid since day one. 
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Re: Food and milk consumption - WWYD? Help - long
First, you didn't do anything wrong. All the books and experts are full of crap. Jakob was the best eater, ever. He ate anything and everything. I did the same things with Layna...even better since she had Baby Led Weaning which is supposed to prevent picky eaters. Ha! What a load of crap that is.
She sounds just like Layna. She was obsessed with milk from her first sippy cup at 12 months until about 18 months. She would drink milk all day long. Finish her cup, take it straight back to the fridge and bang on the door with it. I didn't know what to do about it. Then she got a taste of Gatorade and hasn't drank milk since. My kid is weird. So now we fight her off juice.
I wish I had some actual advice for you but all I can do is sympathize. I feel your pain. So far, I humor her and let her eat what she wants, when she wants it. Its not worth fighting over because I'm not going to shove the food down her throat, you know? I try to keep only healthy options...she loves crackers so we buy the whole wheat versions. Lots of fruit. Lots of ranch to dip carrots in. Zucchini bread, but I smother it in butter so she'll eat it.
Have you tried smoothies? Since she loves milk, it might be a good way to sneak in some nutrition. If you can satisfy yourself that she's getting something healthy, then the rest of the meals can be about enjoying what she likes. Not a battle for Just One More Bite.
Hang in there! I keep hoping Layna will outgrow this. DH is a horribly picky eater and he's just now starting to try new foods. Freaking ridiculous. The man is 31 years old, eat your veggies already!
I like this idea! maybe even add a scoop of protein powder or something (can kids even have protein powder?).
I wonder, too, if that jessica seinfeld book would have any ideas for recipes with milk as the main ingredient. I'm not really a fan of tricking a child into eating but it sounds like you might need to do so.
We are going through the same thing. DD used to at least try everything and now all she wants is milk and fruit. I just re-read Toddler 411 about picky eaters, and it basically said the same thing you said above. It said to serve her what you eat. She will pitch a fit but eventually she will get the idea that she needs to eat what you serve. I have not gotten up the nerve to try this, but I emailed her pedi about it and she agreed with the method. I will let you know how it goes if I ever try it.
Please do!!
On the smoothies: Yes, we've tried it. It went really well for about two months, right around the time she was 12-15 mo. I was putting all sorts of hidden goodies in there - spinach, yellow pepper, protein powder, etc...Then pedi had YET ANOTHER freak out about how DD is underweight and yadda yadda, so she wanted us to give her pediasure instead of milk 2x/day. We did, and she lost. her. sh!t. Completely turned her off of anything milk-like that is flavored like anything that isn't milk. I've tried to trick her dozens of times with the smoothie thing again, both making them with and without pediasure (since that little experiment was a fail) and she isn't having it. Takes one sip, realizes what it is (i.e. not plain milk), hands it back to me and starts crying for milk. GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
I think I'm going to have to go balls to the wall and try the cold turkey you-get-what-you-get approach like you said JayOK. Blergh.
my kids are little, but not so much so that it has raised the concern or attention of my pedi. they are about 15-20% weight (though eve is 90% height so that makes her look skin & bones).
eve is a great eater- lily notsomuch. we went through that phase and it sucked. i'm sorry you're going through it. i started by offering foods i knew she might eat for breakfast and lunch, then only serving what we were eating for dinner + a side of fruit (which i knew she'd eat). that is still our dinner approach, though i usually deconstruct what we are having for her.
so if we're eating tacos she gets a separate protein, etc. for example- a few beans or lentils, a little stack of veggie taco meat, little stack of cheese, little stack of cut veggies, and a side of fruit. starting out she'd only eat the fruit, but now she will eat fruit, a few beans, and the 'meat'. its been a SLOW process for us.
there are really only a few meals i can count on her to eat for breakfast and lunch and they mostly revolve around peanut butter or sausage of some sort. she would be happy now with peanut butter and honey every meal of the day. i just now got her on wheat bread and am working on moving them to sprouted grain bread, but at least its not white bread anymore!
I don't have the milk problem. I have *tried* the you eat what we eat. It's very hard going. I am so tired when it is dinner time, that I am NOT going to make another meal (unless I really know it is something that he won't eat, which I don't make many meals like that).
My advice is that you both (you and DH if he eats with you at dinner) have to stick to your guns. We don't always follow through. I feel it is slowly working. L is getting better at what we eat. Last night was tough. I made lasagna and he just wouldn't eat it. All he wanted were my raisins off my salad. I finally said that he could have no more until he ate his lasagna. He told me "all done". And eventually I put him down. Once DH came home, I told him L couldn't have anything. I did put his plate at his spot on the counter where his learning tower is. I guess L was hungry because at one point, I did see him go over and eat more than half of what was left.
I know it is a tough love kind of thing, but it is a battle I am willing to fight when it comes to dinner and wasting food (and my time.)
GL. Let us know any progress.
The Blog
Thanks everyone. I'm glad to know we're not the only family in this boat, but it sucks that we're all having to stress about this!
I like your approach, mollie, about giving a "sure thing" meal for breakfast/lunch, then whatever we're eating for dinner made toddler-friendly. I think at this point, she'll eat when she's hungry right? I'm just not looking forward to the milk tantrums, since I'm not going to let her answer her hungry tummy with only milk. Wish us luck!