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Has your H ever refused to stay home with your sick child?

sunandsandsunandsand
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Let me preface this by saying he has stayed home with sick child before. He still has a few sick days left for himself, but he took off last Friday for personal reasons and is taking off this Friday for a wedding he is in, so he's basically refusing to do it tomorrow.

DS had watery diarrhea this AM and tonight had a 101.9 fever.

DH's solution is that he will "probably be fine by morning and doesn't have to go to the sitter until 11AM so we should just take him"

I don't want to expose the sitters kids (even though I'm pretty sure he got it there, she posted on FB that they had a virus last weekend), so I will keep him home. But I am out of PTO at work for the next month and scrambing to find someone from 11-6....I wish he would just take a sick day! 

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Re: Has your H ever refused to stay home with your sick child?

  • mrshainesmrshaines member
    Hope your LO feels better soon! I'm sorry your DH will not stay home, I know how frustrating that is. Last night I went over to a friends house to paint some wine glasses and I wasn't there for 5 min when he called and said our LO wasn't feeling good. (I had put her to bed before I left and she was fine the whole day) I think they just freak out that everything will be their responsibility and the fact that he is going to be in the wedding Friday I'm sure he doesn't want to chance getting sick. Hope you can find someone to cover you.
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  • yelena1223yelena1223

    UHM.... not to sound harsh, but WTF?

    This is HIS child, so HIS child's care is his problem too. If you can't do it because you have no PTO and he can- well- then tell him to suck it up and that this is part of parenthood, to do something you don't WANT to do but NEED to do.

    Plain and simple.

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  • LSU628LSU628 member
    Yes, but only b/c DH is free-lance and if he doesn't go to work, he doesn't get paid. Plus, he really can't call into work b/c that would leave his clients in a really bad position, and they would probably never hire DH again. Fortunately, we have grandmothers who are normally available and willing to snuggle and spoil a sick baby.
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  • Monsieur_et_Madame_HaMonsieur_et_Madame_Ha member
    I can understand your husband's unwillingness to take a sick day when he's already taking Friday off, but if you're out of PTO, then I think he should suck it up and stay home with your LO. Oh and even if the diarrhea and fever are gone by 11AM tomorrow, I would still keep him home.
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  • MNgirl326MNgirl326 member

    The only times my DH has refused to stay home with our sick LO was when he had extremely important things going on at work such as meetings that couldn't not rescheduled for whatever.

    I am a teacher so I always have subs to fall back on, even though writing sub plans are a pain in the arse.  This year, LO was sick a lot and I actually ran out of sick days,  but unfortunately DH could not take the time off so I had to.  It sucked but it was what needed to be done.

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  • anna7602anna7602 member
    Yep, many times. I freelance, so if I can't work for a day, I don't get paid and I can't put things off with the excuse "my kid is sick" or I won't get work from that client again. The only times DH has covered for me when DD is sick is if I have a meeting outside the house, he'll try to go in work later or come home for that time period, but he won't take the whole day off. It kind of sucks, but to be fair, I can make up my work in the evening or at other hours and he really can't. It's just hard to do that if DD has been sick and up several times a night, etc.
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  • emiliemadisonemiliemadison member
     I think there are circumstances where one parent or the other must "refuse" because it's simply not possible for them to miss work. However, when one parent CANNOT (no PTO/Sick days) and one parent CAN but just doesnt want to, you need to put your foot down. It's not a choice. 
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  • Kingston54Kingston54 member
    Luckily my LO has not been sick yet.  However, if he was, DH would have no problem taking a day off to stay home with him.
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  • tanyak16tanyak16 member

    Wow. I would be mad. I understand he doesn't want to take another day, but the fact that you have NO time left completely overrides that.

     When DS is sick, my DH is the one who usually stays home with him. He's a manager at his job and has a really good relationship with his boss, so sometimes he can get around having sick days marked down. Plus, he works in the newsroom at a newspaper, so he can go in at night when I'm home if really needs to get something done. My boss is also really nice, but there's a lot more attention paid to my days taken.

     

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  • AbinormalAbinormal member

    I tend to be more over protective of Tegan and DH tends to be very laid back when it comes to Tegan. So, there have been times where I felt that she should stay home and he felt that she'd be fine going to daycare. I ran out of PTO at the end of January (teacher) and so, it was up to DH to take a day off if needed. Fortunately, DH is a firefighter and works a 24 hour shift with 48 hours off in between each shift. This means that 3 out of 5 week days, DH isn't working and can easily keep Tegan at home.

    We did have a day or two this past school year where I would've kept Tegan home and DH disagreed, so she went to daycare since I wasn't able to take a day to stay home with her. However, fever and/or diarrhea/vomiting are the things that DH and I are in complete agreement that Tegan should stay home.

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  • cbwmcbwm

    Nope. He's never done that.

    In fact, we will "fight" over who gets to stay home with Will when he's sick.

    Sorry he's being a d!ckface.

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  • livinrealitylivinreality member

    Yes! Our LO one was in the hospital for 12 days and then had to be out of daycare for 2 more weeks.  I has spent 2 weeks in the hospital with DS and then had to work with family to cover the two weeks out of daycare, I ended up taking 5 more days of work without pay and under complete protest DH took 1 paid sick day home... 

    To DH my 15 days of unpaid leave was totally fine, he would rather dip into savings than take sick days.  

    (Also DH was at the hospital daily and worked a shortened work day, it is not that he did not care, it is just not his thing...) 

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  • shopgirl78shopgirl78 member

    MH owns his own business; it is really hard for him to stay home.  I get PTO and earn it pretty quickly (I think I have 70 hours right now).  MH probably wouldn't stay home a whole day (it makes more since for me too) but if I had something I really needed to do, he does what DC during that time. 


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