My kid doesn't like me

KYRN · June 2011

I work 4 days/week, 8hr/day(usually less actually). I'm off Fri, Sat, Sun. DH is on disability right now (so sort of like a SAHD), but when he goes back to work (next week) we only need childcare 2 days every other week and DH has him the rest.

DS is never happy to see me, it's more like he's pissed that I'm there. He does eventually warm up but man it feels like I get punched in the stomach every time. Yesterday DH and DS came by my work and DS wouldn't talk to me or let me hold him, and when he thought DH was leaving him with me he threw a fit. Today I left in the middle of the day to go to DH's post-op appointment. They were signing in when I walked in and DS ran and hid behind DH, wouldn't come sit by me after I got us a seat etc. Every day when I get home from work he does it, doesn't want me to talk to him or look at him and seems pissed that I'm even there.

I try to get him out of bed every morning that I'm home, he's not mad but he does always ask where daddy is. On Fridays I try to do something fun, zoo, toddler time, swimming etc. I play with him in the evenings, give him a bath every night, we watch a movie or read a book and I'm the one that puts him to bed. So it's not like I'm gone all the time or never do anything with him, but the first 10-15 minutes that I see him he wants nothing to do with me.

I know this is long, thanks for reading if you made it this far it just makes me so sad. I'm extra emotional today I guess b/c I'm spotting at 12dpIUI so I'm pretty sure it's over. I can't get pregnant and my kid doesn't like me, pity party of 1 here.

dusk42 · June 2011

Hugs - DD is totally a daddy's girl right now too. To the point that I love picking her up from school because she gives me such a big hug, which doesn't happen if DH is around. Even if she calls me dada by mistake first. He does like you - he's just being a toddler, but I know it is sad. I'm so sorry about the spotting as well.

cjsbdl · June 2011

I know it's hard, but try not to take it personally. I think kids just tend to be into one parent over the other and it shifts back and forth over time. Henry acts much the same way toward me these days and I'm a SAHM...I don't think it has anything to do with you working...he's just going through a daddy phase. It's so bad in our house at the moment that when DH goes to the bathroom Henry sits outside the door and cries. And if DH is home Henry doesn't even want me to serve him his food. It can be frustrating and a little hurtful, but I know it's just a phase and has nothuing to do with me. Hugs! Being a mom is hard and I can only imagine how hard it is to be a working mom and wonder how it affects them. Try not to worry!

Mouseygail · June 2011

((((HUGS))))!! I know this is a perfectly normal stage for kids to go through, but I'm sure it doesn't make it hurt any less! I'm so sorry! (and dreading the daddy phases myself). I hope that your spotting is just your little one snuggling in!!

DavezWife · June 2011

AHHHHHH.... this too shall pass. In fact as I was reading this, I was like "Is he about age 2?" and yup. SAME thing happened with Ava, but she went back and forth with who's name was mud. We never knew what to expect.

I like to think it's not a "vendeta" (sp?) or anything, just what's familiar and same same for them. I think regardless of how young he is, he's certainly picked up on the health things going on with daddy, and the disruptions that naturally causes... and just the stress of it all.

Cut yourself some slack, KNOW you're a wonderful momma, and he DOES love you very very much. He'll show that soon enough ;-)

(ps, sorry about this cycle, if in fact, it's BFN. that blows)

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