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I never wanted to do this, and this is why!

SarahhhlynnSarahhhlynn
in Single Parents

Long story  somewhat short, B's father left once he found out i was pregnant. We were together for three years, lived together, engaged, the whole thing. We talked about the "what if's" (because stoped using condoms) and he was all "omg, id love be be a father! That would make my whole life!" Well, he lied. He actually wanted nothing to do with being a father. Once i told him i was pregnant, it turned into the whole "it must not be mine" thing and it was just a disaster. I moved out, and moved on. I was fine with how i was doing being a single mom with not a penny of support from my EX, but my family has been getting on me about letting him "go free". So i finally make the choice to push aside my pride and do this for B, because after all hes the one who needs the support later on down the road. Well since i made that decision, shiit went downhill.

My ex's mother just HAPPENED to move across the street from me, in march. and saw me playing with B in the front yard. She puts two and two together, finds out my EX is the father and now the women wont leave us alone. Shes over knocking on my door everyday about asking to take B for the day. She wants to babysit him when im at work, she wants him to sleep over. ITS SUCH A MESS. B's father still wants nothing to do with him. He told me "ill give you some money, but i sure as fukc dont want that baby around me" But his mother wants him around her 24/7. Ive already told her she needs to back off, and ive already had the cops called. SHE JUST FOUND OUT LAST FRIDAY.

This is the main reason i was okay with being a single mom. I knew i wasnt going to have to deal with any of this other parent drama. I cant deal with drama and i get so stressed out when i think about the situation. My EX wants nothing to do with the little guy, and his mom wont leave me alone. Where do i go with this? Im about to move if this biitch doesnt stop, ive already have fuxkin enough.

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Santas little helper!


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Re: I never wanted to do this, and this is why!

  • DarthNBJenniDarthNBJenni
    What do you think the likelihood is of her going after Grandparent's rights? It sounds like she didn't know she had a grandchild. Honestly, if I found out I had a little piece of my flesh and blood wandering around, I'd probably want to be involved with them. 

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  • warriormomerinwarriormomerin

    You sound super classy. No wonder the poor grandmother wants to spend as much time as possible with your son.

    What are your exact reasons for not wanting this woman to care for and love your son? There's got to be more to your story.

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  • truliltrulil
    Are you judging her so harshly because she's your ex's mom? It sounds like she has no idea she had a grandson or that you lived there when she moved in. You make it sound like she hunted you down and moved there on purpose. Is it so horrible to have your sons grandmother involved in his life? She at least wants to be there unlike his dad.
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  • keychain01keychain01

    imagetrulil:
    Are you judging her so harshly because she's your ex's mom? It sounds like she has no idea she had a grandson or that you lived there when she moved in. You make it sound like she hunted you down and moved there on purpose. Is it so horrible to have your sons grandmother involved in his life? She at least wants to be there unlike his dad.

    OP I agree with this. I would love for E's grandparents to care as much as it seems she does. A child should know his/her family, especially if some of them want to know him back. If I were you I would take her up on the offer at times. There might be nights you want to go out or just go to movies with friends, how convenient is it that she is right across the street? E's grandparents live 10 minutes away and STILL don't want to have anything to do with him. Count your blessings.

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  • KR1505KR1505

    ::stops lurking for a minute::

    Since you "moved out and moved on", it sounds like she didn't know where you lived, let alone that you had a baby by her son.  I know she's coming across as over zealous, to say the least, but I think she's probably just trying to make up for lost time.  Part of her "oh my god, I want to spend 24/7 with my grandson" is probably because it's such a new concept for her.

    You dated her son for 3 years.  You lived together and were engaged.  So you should know his parents pretty well, right?  If she's always been weird like this, then maybe you need to be more firm with setting boundaries.  But otherwise, I'd say you need to try to be gentle about it.  Maybe schedule a weekly play date where she can come over and play with DS while you two drink coffee or something.  I think knowing that DS isn't going to suddenly disappear out of her life just as quickly as he entered it will help her calm down.  (which is a valid concern of hers, since you're obviously not dating EX anymore). 

    But like PP have said, you are very lucky you have a grandparent so close who *wants* to be part of DS's life.  It honestly sounds like she wants to be supportive and helpful, like she values family.  That might come in handy when you try to get CS from EX.  (nagging mothers might make headway where ex-fiancees can't). 

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