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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
rimjob
member
Am I the only one
rimjob
member
that doesn't plan on ever CIO? To each their own, but I just don't think that it will ever be something we do. SD is 7 and we never let her CIO. As she got older the routine changed. We went from rocking her to sleep to sitting in bed and reading to her until she fell asleep. At around 4 she would just go to sleep after we finished the story and said good night. Am I crazy to think this is going to work again?
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Re: Am I the only one
No, you're not crazy. I definitely hope to avoid it completely if possible. Thankfully, DS sleeps pretty well and usually goes down fairly easily.
I mean, he definitely fusses sometimes, but I don't plan on intentionally letting him really cry until he sleeps at any point. Ferber or a a modified version would be a last resort in we had sleep problems.
I don't plan to ever use it but I think some feel like they don't have a choice because they've exhausted all other options (at least they perceive to have exhausted their options). Of course, I feel some don't exhaust their options and go to CIO too quickly.
It breaks my heart to imagine my LO crying it out but it might be because he has been easily soothed thus far so he hasn't cried for more than maybe a minute at a time. I wonder if I were in a different situation if I would try CIO if I didn't know what else to do and DS was unable to be soothed.
I go to DS at night even if he is just fussing/whining. I don't pick him up out of the crib but I do change his position/pop the paci in his mouth/pat his back/etc to comfort him back to sleep. Only if he starts crying will I pick him up since I know he must be hungry or need to be changed. I hope I never have to resort to CIO.
FET to TTC #2: 9/29/14 Beta on 10/8/14 = BFP!
DS #1 Born 1/3/11 after IVF #1
4 failed IUIs, including 1 CP
PCOS
TTC since 2008
Same here.
We had a normal bedtime routine that evolved as we got older. It wasn't a method from some book, it was just common sense bedtime stuff... bath, story, bed.
http://pandce.****/index.cgi#general
Not planning on it. She is a pretty good self soother, but has never STTN. I'm not worried about it. I figure when she cries it's for a reason, so I'm not going to not get her.
I don't judge people who do it though. If I had a difficult baby, and I we were both miserable, I would probably do it as a last resort.
I'll have to be desperate, but if I comes to that, we will.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
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We did the same with JJ. Overall he's a good sleeper so we haven't had any issues. He's never really cried or screamed himself to sleep.
TBH, I don't really understand what the big objection is. My parents used CIO with me and my brothers and none of us are emotionally scarred or even remember. My mom said it took no more than 2 nights and we never cried when going to bed again. I know it's "oldschool" but it worked for many parents back in the day and I don't know of any person who has been damaged by CIO. I'm just sayin'.
The first time it took 30 mins for her to go down, she'd cry a little I'd go in give her, her bink she'd stop crying, roll to her side and kind of chat to herself.
I just couldn't take the hours of rocking anymore it wasn't doing any of us any good.
This. If that is how long it was taking to get her down, then you just have to do what works. It is better for baby and better for mama.
I'm only referring to CIO. There are a lot of methods that our parents used that I don't agree with. But this, however, I just don't see why everyone is so against it other than the fact that they can't stand to hear their baby cry. I can't stand to hear J cry which is why I don't do it. My mom, on the other hand, was and is an incredible mother and I don't think her decision to let us CIO was wrong in any way.
FET to TTC #2: 9/29/14 Beta on 10/8/14 = BFP!
DS #1 Born 1/3/11 after IVF #1
4 failed IUIs, including 1 CP
PCOS
TTC since 2008
I wouldnt necessarily say never, but I'd do it only if it were best for LO, and not because I didnt want to get up at night, or swaddle, or get a paci for LO.
My DS didnt STTN until after 11 months, and has been an inconsistent sleeper, but I cant ever imagine letting him CIO. I dont know how people do it with young LOs, honestly. However, if DD/DS's sleep got so poor that they was miserable (and it wasnt something that passed in a few weeks time, since sleep regressions are completely normal and clear up in their own time) and every other no-cry option to improve sleep failed I would consider it. It would definitely be a very last resort.
I think people are in too much of a rush to make their kids grow up. Most kids don't start kindergarten needing to be swaddled or have a paci. Kids will give up things in their own time-you dont necessarily need to rush them.
We've come to a point with Lucian where he will not nap unless we put him in the swing and let him CIO for 5 minutes. Sometimes we'll get lucky and he'll fall asleep on his own or without a fight, but most times he'll get to where his eyes are red, he's rubbing his face and cranky, but refuses to sleep. So, we swaddle his arms down, turn the music/water sounds really loud on the swing, set him in it and close the door. When he's in refusal-mode, he'll cry, then wind down to a babbling whine, then fall asleep. And we try not to let him actually cry for more than the 5 minutes, because at that point we know a nap ain't happenin'. We hate doing it, but the kid is really stubborn. We really did try everything else first, and he would stay awake and blink at us like, "That all you got?"
CIO was never an option for us.
Just NMS at all. Any kind of CIO. Ferber included.
I don't want O to ever feel that his call for help will go unanswered. Even though he isn't in any danger, his cries are simply a cry for help because he is a baby and doesn't know WTF is going on when he is alone in a crib in the dark. So I help him learn to soothe himself back to a state of calm, doing whatever is reasonably necessary to get him there. Usually it's just singing to him and stroking his hair, or just laying beside him or holding his hand.
ETA: imo, a baby's cry at this age is only a cry for help. Not a manipulative way to get the parent to come play at 3am.
I think everybody has their breaking point and it's easy to say you wouldn't do something if things are going relatively well and your baby is still a baby. I never planned on doing it, but when DS was around 12-13 months we did. He was still getting up every 2-3 hours and would only nap for 20-30 minutes. I was exhausted and tried so many no-cry solutions and nothing worked. So the first night it took around 15 min., then the second night was around 7, then 2-3 min. the third night and then no crying and he only got up once at night to nurse until around 14 mo. and I was fine with that. I felt that I knew his crying at that age and it was different than an infant's cry, if that makes sense.
I still don't plan on doing CIO with DD, but she is already left to cry at times b/c I can't always jump in and grab her if I'm tending to DS. However, she sleeps 8ish hours at night and is a much better sleeper, so I don't feel like there is much to do. Would I rather she go to bed earlier and nap longer? Yes. But I'm still hopeful that since she's so young that she will get there in her own time. Unfortunately, my DS didn't on his own and it was rough and looking back I believe I had some form of PPD b/c of it. I cried a lot from being so tired and that's not good for anybody.
ETA: LOL, OliveBaby, you should be on Words with Friends if you have time to be here!
BFP with no treatment!
I don't, but only because I have the best sleeper in the world. We put him down wide awake every night and he falls asleep in under 5 minutes and sleeps 7 - 8 hours, followed by another 4 - 5.
Naps are a bit harder because he's not swaddled but we put him down wide awake after 1.5 - 2 hours of being awake and he's out in under 10 minutes for about an hour most times.
If I had a child that was waking every 20 minutes, had trouble falling asleep, or screamed for hours on end I'd defintely consider it.