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EDD: September 22, 2012
NBR: Regret
This is totally random but; a friend posted on her FB something like "I have no regrets. I learn from my mistakes." This got me thinking; does anyone really have no regrets? I personally have regrets, but to me that doesn't mean I haven't learned from them. I hear the expression "no regrets" all the time, I just wonder if that is a realistic expression?
EDD: September 22, 2012
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBR: Regret
I think everyone has things that they wish they would have not done, or things that they wish they had done differently. I don't think one can truly have "no regrets". As long as you realize that you cannot go back and change what has happened, and just learn from it, you are all set.
If there is something you have done, that is a "regret", think about how different things could be. Personally I think that DH and I should have waited a little longer to start our family. At the time of conception we both had good jobs, were making over $1500 in "extra" money that was going towards a savings and student loans, and felt pretty set. We would have NEVER known that he was going to lose his job when I was 12 weeks along. Do I regret getting pregnant? Nope. But sometimes I wish things went a little differently to where we are not struggling as much as we are now. In the end, everything will be okay!
I dont think that anyone can truly have NO regrets, and I probably wouldnt believe anyone who said otherwise. There are some decisions you have made in your life that have absolutely no bearing on your future, so its totally not true when people say that the mistakes they've made make them the person they are today.
For instance, if you speed and get a big ass ticket, which raises your insurance rates, wouldnt you regret speeding?? Its not like that ticket altered the course of your life somehow, right?
You summed up what I was thinking exactly. My friends post kind of made me
I just can't imagine there is anyone out there that doesn't regret something. It doesn't mean it has to be something major in your life. It can be as simple as a speeding ticket.
Well of course I regret gaining those last 10lbs, or yelling at my husband but like what Lynchie said those don't have bearing on my life. BUT Do I regret any choices I've made that do? absolutely NOT, I can say with 100% certainty that I have no regrets in the choices I've made in my life leading up to now. That is if they would have changed my life somehow.
So Petty regret I sure do have, if that makes any sense.
I'm not a fan of that statement, but I feel it's kind of a Rorschach and you can look at it either way.
Negative: I make my choices and disregard how it might affect others, so deal with it! Yay!
Positive: I learn from my mistakes and they've made me who I am, and I love who I am.
Most people I know who say it make crappy choices, get DUIs, etc. So I tend to view it in a more negative light.
I see what she's saying - I have a similar philosophy. While there are things in my life that I wish had gone differently, I honestly believe I made the best choice with all the information I had at the time. From that point of view, I have no regrets.
Is my ExDH the biggest loser on the planet? Yes. Do my children deserve a better father than he is? Yes. Was that 12 years of my life a pure living hell? Yes. Do I regret meeting/marrying/procreating with him? Not for one minute.
All of my experiences and the choices in my life sum up who I am now. And I'm pretty happy with who I am. Am I perfect? Far from it. Am I working on it? You bet. Will I continue to make choices that I will look back on and wonder "WTF were you thinking?" yes. But I don't consider that regret.
Regret to me is a feeling that you dwell on, a point in your life where you go back in your mind and try to re-live and re-think using a different point of view to challenge the choice you made then. A point where you might have (should have?) made a different choice that led you down another path. But then you wouldn't be where you are and that implies being unhappy where you're at.
I'm not expressing my thoughts very well here, it's hard for me to explain. There are a lot of choices I made in the past that given a different perspective, I probably would have made different choices. But ultimately, I did the best I could with the info I had. And that means trusting my own "current" judgement and trusting myself to continue making the best choices I can.
...still not entirely making sense...
This!
that gets the side eye from me too - there are lessons to be learned in every choice you make. Good and bad. Sounds like she's just forging ahead, consequences be damned. definate side eye