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kristalovesjared
member
How big is your immediate family? How big do you want yours?
kristalovesjared
member
I have my parents and a brother. DH has his parents and a sister. This makes family gatherings kind of small. My parents both had lots of siblings and I always thought family get togethers were so much fun because of all my aunts, uncles and cousins, but am kind of sad our kids won't have that. I've always said I only want 2 kids (DH would want 5 or 6 if I wanted to be pregnant that many times!), but this is kind of making me want more... I'm sure once #2 comes, it'll be good birth control for at least another year, but I'm kind of rethinking my family plans of 2 kids to possibly 3... and if we have 3 we might as well have 4 right? 
How big is your and DH's immediate family? How big do you want your own family?
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Re: How big is your immediate family? How big do you want yours?
This is exactly how my family and DH is as well. My dad has 1 sister and 3 brothers and my mom has 1 sister and (had) 2 brothers. I'm happy with my small family though, right now we are happy with just the 3 of us (5 if you count the dogs), but that might change. I'm thankful we are still pretty young so in a few years when we are more stable we can have another if we choose.
I don't miss the big family gatherings (aunts, uncles, first and second cousin) over the holidays to be honest. This year might be the first year we celebrate Christmas just as the 3 of us.
DH has one sister, I have one sister and one brother. DH's family gets together with his entire extended family ALL.THE.TIME. I think that's fun on occasion, but for the most part I think it's too much. I like having smaller family get togethers.
I always thought 2 or 3 kids seemed about "right" for me. Then we had one and it was harder than I thought it'd be. I almost didn't have another. Now I'm so so thrilled to have my two. No way in hell am I going through baby-dom or pregnancy again! Plus I'm 40+ and my tubes are tied.
I am an only child, and my husband is an only as well. My mom was 1 of 8(!) and my dad was 1 of 4. As you can imagine, the get togethers on my moms side are just insane, but unfortunately it seems to be more for my grandmothers sake. (Nobody really 'likes' each other to be honest..lol) My dad's side is here and there, but there has been an ongoing rift between the siblings, so nobody is together all at once.
I don't think having a high number of children will automatically guarantee the large gatherings, or even the happy small ones. It seems to be more of a crapshoot from what I've personally witnessed with my family, as well as others. All of our family lives across the country, and I know this sounds off - but I really enjoy having just us around the holiday's. (Maybe I was overloaded as a child with the large gatherings?!)
We knew for sure that we didn't want to make our son an only child, but I also am hesitant on a final number. DH would LOVE to have at least 4, but I'm not willing to commit until I see how we handle #2. Financially we are secure enough to handle a higher number, but I also want to make sure I am able to parent each child with the individual attention I feel each of my children deserves. I always hear that you just *know* when you are done, and I imagine I might feel that at number 3.
I know I will feel like this... A LOT!, but I always seem to forget the bad and remember the good. I need to keep a journal of all the bad days to go back and read every time I think I want another! haha!
I am technically a only child, but if you consider all the half brothers and sisters and step brothers and sisters I am one of 6. Dh has 1 sister and 1 half brother.
Our little family is complete and in no way will there ever be a third, most days I am willing to give up one of the two I already have
That's my family to a T, and I completely agree with you. I thought it was the coolest thing when I was living out of state, but since moving I've learned that their HUGE get togethers happen almost every two weeks. Much too much for my taste. So, one kid will be enough for us (with 90% certainty for now
Like you said, I really like the closeness and intimacy of smaller family get togethers.
I have 2 sisters and a brother (and technically 3 step sisters but I don't talk to my dad so I don't count them), DH has one sister (who we do NOT talk to). I've got 2 teens from my first marriage and this will be #1 for DH. I *think* we're done after this but we've talked about maybe fostering or adopting more...so who knows.
My family dynamic is very similar to how I grew up - I had #1 & #2 at very similar age that my mom had #1 (me) and my #2 (sister) - then she had #4 (sister) with my step dad at almost the exact age I'm having #3 (#3 for my mom was my brother was adopted from Vietnam in 1971)
(my extended family is GINORMOUS - we get together every Christmas eve and there's easily 70-80 people there, family only).
I agree 100%!
I am one of three and DH is one of two. However, my mom was one of nine and my dad was one of four. I have always been around a TON of family. DH hasn't, his mom was one of two and his dad wasn't around. He loves being a part of my huge family now. I just find his family odd. For many reasons.
We would ideally have three or four, but are honestly contemplating just one. We'll see though as A gets older.
DH and I both have two sisters. Although his sisters were much older so he was basically an only child with lots of caregivers.
I come from a large extended family. Mom is the oldest of six kids, Dad has a full brother and sister, step brother and sister, and half brother and sister. All on both sides are married with at least two kids. So, no matter the holiday or which side of the family we were getting together with, there were lots of cousins/aunts/uncles.
DH's parents were both only children so he has no cousins, aunts, or uncles. It is weird for me at the holidays knowing his entire family (14 including DD) can fit at one table for the holiday meal!
But we are happy with our one and done. She will have plenty of cousins from our sisters.
LOL if you ever hear me say I want another, please remind me I said this :P
I have a brother and a half-sister/half-brother so there are four of us total. My half-siblings never lived with us full-time, but they were around every other weekend until we moved to Washington. My older brother moved to WA for a few years, until he moved abroad and got married, but now we don't see him much.
My H is one of 2. He's adopted and has a much younger biological sister. Both of our extended families are large. My dad is on of 11 (all but one sibling had kids) and my mom is one of 5 (all siblings have kids). N's mom is one of 8 (all siblings have kids) and his dad is one of 7 (Four have children).
Our extended family GTGs are huge and fun. I love being a part of a big family and want to have my own big family. I want to have three or four kids. N just wants two. Secretly, I am hoping that number 2 is a boy so that I get my way for number 3! He wants a girl like nobody's business.
The only Easter Bunny I can get behind.
Maxwell Joseph 4/09 Lucy Violet 10/12
DH and I are both 1 of 3 with the exact same age spread. I hated it growing up but not like the spread my sisters and I have.
We are "all alone" out here. both side of the family and all siblings/cousins live within 10 miles of each other and get together all the time. Since we can't be as involved as I'd like we are going to create our own family! I want 4. I can probably convince DH of 3, but after how hard it was to get a second, who knows what's in store for us. I just decided I'm never using birth control again (I'm sure I'll regret that decision later)
I have a brother, a sister, a step-sister, and two step brothers.
Family gathering with my family are just plain ridiculous. My mom and step dad started dating when all the kids were between thirteen and eighteen. To sum things all up, my brother, sister and I do not like our new step dad. His kids do not like my mom. We were all raised totally and completely different and really just do not get along. It makes things awkward and tense when we all get together, so it is pretty much avoided.
Dh has a sister, four half brothers, and two step brothers.
This is a whole other form of awkward. His sister is very.... bipolar? She dislikes me because we are having a girl, and she got a boy. Not like I picked! One of his half brothers is awesome, Dh and I get along with him really well. The other three step brothers are really young, under ten. One has a mental disability and I absolutely adore him! He is the biggest cuddle bug, and such a sweet heart. The two step brothers we both barely know, but they are okay kids. The mom is something else.
I personally want three more kids, after this baby. That will bring us to five. We are crazy, but I would LOVE a big family.
I have 1 brother that I'm pretty close to and DH has 1 sister who is much younger that he is not close to. I have a HUGE extended family and am very close to them, DH has very little extended family who he has never been close to.
DH is actually much closer now with my family than his own. I've always wanted 3-5 kids and now that DH has been able to experience the benefits of an extended family, he is definitely on board.
Of course, we'll see how we do once we have a second child.
Alivia Nichole Willow Nov. 9th 2007 @ 8:22pm 9 lbs 4 oz 20.5"
Ian Robert March. 5th 2010 @ 6:41pm 9 lbs 1 oz 20.5"
Our blog http://rappfamilyof4.blogspot.com/
We're both from families of 4, and ironically, both are 3 boy/1girl families - I have 3 brothers, and my H has 2 brothers and a sister. He also has 3 stepsisters who are semi-close.
I think we both want 2-3 children, although my H used to say he wanted 4 so that we wouldn't have a "left-out middle child."
I have my parents and 2 siblings. DH has his mom (his dad passed in '07) and 4 siblings. I grew up with a very extended family of grandparents, great grandparents, great aunts/uncles, aunts/uncles, cousins, etc. The family is all still relatively close. DH's family didn't get together often and he hasn't seen some of his aunts, uncles and cousins in years. ETA: My family all live in a different state and DH's family almost never gets together. So, except for seeing some of DH's siblings regularly, we don't have big family GTG's.
DH and I both wanted at least 3 kids, but more like 4. Because of my age, we will probably only be able to have one more. If we had the time and the money, we'd try for 4, 5, or 6 kids, to be honest.
Photo by J Shelton Photography
Married 10/5/08 | 2 yrs of TTC, tests, procedures & a m/c | IVF #2 =James!
My family has 3 kids. DH's family 3 kids. Our family 3 kids. I want 4 but I do NOT want to be the birth mother on the 4th (to many complications on the last pregnancy) nor do I want the 4th to be another 2 years younger.
DH was an exchange student and DH's family also hosted a few exchange students. We are actually part of the family that DH lived with while in high school...we go back for Christmas call on the weekends, etc. One of the exchange students DH's family hosted is also part of DH's family. With all this in mind, we plan to host exchange students when our own children get bigger and maybe we will get lucky and our family will grow in that way
DH has 1 brother and I have 1 sister. My extended family is huge - my Dad is the youngest of 11 and my Mom is 1 of 5. MIL is 1 of 4 but the rest of her family is on the East Coast so we rarely see them. FIL is 1 of 8 but they were all split up growing up so he hardly ever sees them and I haven't met most of them.
I always wanted 4 but then realized 2 would be a better decision! We are leaving the possibility of a 3rd open.