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"you shouldn't tell people it's twins"... wtf?

Temp159135562506975Temp159135562506975 member
in Multiples

so i was emailing with a pregnant friend, who also had IF treatments to get pg... in one sentance she complained about people who always feel the need to tell a pg woman m/c stories and how NOT constructive it is... and then in the next sentence she says to me "you shouldn't tell people it's twins yet b/c one could disappear".... WTF??

seriously?? I'm going to blame it on her pg brain - but i'm just amzed how this smart and usually very sensitive person could basically say "you could lose a baby so don't tell people" - when she JUST complained about people telling her m/c stories!!

I guess maybe she just doesn't think losing one of 2 would be as bad as having a m/c with a singleton... but I'm already in love with these 2 and would be devistated to lose one. 

I know the risk of losing one - and i'm OK with telling people- b/c TODAY I am pregnant with twins- and I'm excited and happy and want to share the news, damn it!

sorry- just had to vent.  I suppose it's only the beginning of people making stupid comments re: twins (b/c I know they are great at making stupid comments with any pregnancy!)

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Re: "you shouldn't tell people it's twins"... wtf?

  • LilSurferGirlLilSurferGirl
    Wow - she definitely wasn't thinking straight to make a comment like that.  You are right to stay positive and be happy about both of your babies! 
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  • KiloeWKiloeW
    That is about the stupidest thing I have heard in a long time when it comes to twin pregnancies.  I found out before 6 weeks that I was pregnant with twins and I didn't have a second ultrasound until 12 weeks.  There was no way that I could have gone that long without telling people that I was having twins.  Of course it crossed my mind that I could have a vanishing twin, but I was still super excited about telling friends and family.  Don't let her comment bother you...like you said it's just the beginning of hearing strange comments from friends/family and strangers about your twin pregnancy.
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  • mrskimmieDmrskimmieD member

    Gail, I told everyone it was twins from the beginning.  Like you, I loved them both and would be devastated to lose one of them so I knew if that had happened, God forbid, I would want my freinds and family's support.

    I would chalk it up to your friend not thinking right - let's hope that was the case for her sake.  We know how hard going through IF treatments are so I am always more forgiving of some comments that come out of their mouths.

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  • Lani LyonsLani Lyons
    I had someone say that to me too, a good friend actually. Really, she just wasn't thinking. She said it a couple times, kind of suggesting that it might be a good thing because then I would have only 2.. I finally said-"stop saying that please!!" That pretty much solved the problem. She just didn't get it at the time. Fast forward 6 months... she ended up pg with twins, and she said to me "I am so sorry for saying that about the possibility of one vanishing, I didn't realize how dumb of a thing that was to say!" Vent away, though. I think its a way of developing a "thick skin" to it:)
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  • pea-kaypea-kay member

    you have the right attitude....happy and excited about your twins! :) my ob said not to tell people until 12 weeks, but i was calling people right after my ultrasound (which was at 7 weeks.) it would have been awful to lose any of them, but i wanted people to be as happy and excited (but not as terrified or scared) as i was.

    image
    How to tell my boys apart

    The different types of twins and triplets
     
    Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
    My blog * We made the national news!
    image
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  • Jen&John2005Jen&John2005

    imagepea-kay:
    you have the right attitude....happy and excited about your twins! :) my ob said not to tell people until 12 weeks, but i was calling people right after my ultrasound (which was at 7 weeks.) it would have been awful to lose any of them, but i wanted people to be as happy and excited (but not as terrified or scared) as i was.

    Yeah, I told everyone right after my 7 week u/s, too.  How else could I explain how big I was getting so early?  Does being pg with 2 (or 3) babies mean you get 2 (or 3) times the stupid pg-related comments??

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  • pea-kaypea-kay member
    imageJen&John2005:

    Yeah, I told everyone right after my 7 week u/s, too.  How else could I explain how big I was getting so early?  Does being pg with 2 (or 3) babies mean you get 2 (or 3) times the stupid pg-related comments??

     um, yep. :)

    image
    How to tell my boys apart

    The different types of twins and triplets
     
    Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
    My blog * We made the national news!
    image
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  • Temp159135562506975Temp159135562506975 member

    Thanks for letting me vent and your comments - they made me feel a lot better.

    yes- double the stupid comments, I'm Sure!!  I hope it doesn't mean double the belly rubs - b/c I'm not a fan of those :)  Thankfully with DS I didn't get too many from strangers or friends I didn't want touching me... but now i'm worried! hahah

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  • ifoundhimifoundhim
    I am constantly shocked at the comments people make.  Almost every person we tell asks if they're "natural" twins/do we have twins in the family.  It's weird, but not awful-- not like the "you could lose one" comment. What was she thinking?! 
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  • AlpacaBunnyAlpacaBunny member

    I was actually kind of nervous to tell people it was twins b/c I was so scared of losing one.  But we told everyone we are having twins.  Like you said, today, you are pregnant with twins, so celebrate it! 

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  • kelly pavaokelly pavao

    When I was pregnant with the boys, my DH's grandfather would say things like "well your cousin got pregnant with triplets and lost all of them so you never know what will happen". he said this a couple of times until DH said that we knew what could happen and didn't want to hear about it anymore.  Enjoy being pregnant with your twins and tell anyone you want!

    kelly

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