Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Non-clicky Poll: How much housework does your DH do?

I think my DH is seriously slacking. We were 50/50 until I started to SAH, but now that I'm back to work, we're not back to 50/50 and its really wearing on me. I'm not sure if I need to lower my expectations (of my DH and my house) or if he needs to kick it in to gear.

 

How much does your DH do?

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Re: Non-clicky Poll: How much housework does your DH do?

  • ames71ames71 member

    My husband is great at a lot of things. Housework is not one of them. 

    ETA: I should add that if there is cooking happening in the kitchen, he's often the one doing it. Oh, and he does his own laundry.

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  • I SAH so he doesn't do a lot. I'm also a control freak and would rather do things myself.
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  • Our house is "lived in" - we'd rather be doing things on the weekends that keeping a perfect house.  That said, dh does 50/50.  But sometimes I have to nag if I want him to do more of a deep cleaning.
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  • imageames17:
    My husband is great at a lot of things. Housework is not one of them. 

    This! DH doesn't do any cooking or cleaning but he has basically rebuilt our entire house so he spends all of his extra time fixing everything and doing those kinds of improvements.

  • DH works about 70hrs a week and i SAH so i do the cleaning.
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  • imageMcRib:

    Can you define housework?

    Like does that count outside stuff, car maintenance, child care?
    If not, then my DH does not do much.

    He does all the cooking and most of the cleaning up after cooking plus half of the childcare. Outside, he does everything. Inside, I do everything else.

    I'd count all of that stuff as house work. Right now I can pretty much only get DH to sweep the kitchen floor (compulsively), wash laundry (but not fold it) and take the garbage out. I'd like my house to be clean (even lived in clean) but I'm feeling the pressure because my ILs are at the house everyday and I feel like a messy house is a direct reflection on me. (In their family the women clean and the men work outside on the farm. I try to do the outside farm work, but with DS and work its getting tougher and tougher.)

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  • My husband averages 60-70 hrs a week and sometimes he cooks dinner when he gets home (he loves to cook). I do the cleaning because I SAH and I enjoy doing it.

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       B.R.C. 5/08-- N.R.C. 5/10--S.R.C. 3/14
  • we both do everything so i can say it's honestly 50/50.  or he may actually do more than me because he also is the one that cooks and he always empties the litter box.  ill cook like 2x a week or we'll go out but he takes care of all the other meals. 

    if one us throws the laundry in, the other will switch it and fold it.  if we are cleaning, we'll each take a room or one will mow the lawn, water the plants while the other one straightens up inside.

     i know i'm lucky but it's definitely annoying because he's almost ocd about certain things being done.  we aren't messy people so he had a hard time letting some things go since we have a baby.  i keep having to tell him that we can clean up her dinner dishes and highchair after she goes to sleep so we can enjoy the few minutes before bed with her.  he's getting better but it's just his nature.

    i come from the idea of once i get home from work i like change, sit down, have a drink and then get up and do things. he won't even take his shoes off until the garbage is out, the sink is empty, etc...  neither of us are wrong, it's just our own preference so the days we get home at the same time i usually just do everything right away and the days i'm home earlier, i do them at my own pace. 

     

    Jess and James 10.18.08
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  • I do all the cooking. We pretty much split everything else. It depends on what time of the year it is as to who does more. DH is a coach/teacher so he is off in the summer and does more. During football season in the fall, he works 14 hour days and I barely see him so obviously I do more. It's pretty balanced though overall. We never really argue about cleaning or who does what, who isn't pulling their weight, etc.

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  • MrsSRMrsSR member

    A lot!

    We rotate daily with vacuuming the living room, picking up DD's toys, and bottles.  We help each other pull up weeds.

    His all the time chores are dishes (other than the bottles which we rotate), trash, bathrooms (we have two), and laundry (I sometimes do it, and we both always fold and put away). 

    I do all the dusting, mopping, cleaning the kitchen (except for the microwave which I can't reach unless I'm on a step stool), and getting DD's things together for daycare (clothes and food). 

    Basically we are 50/50 as it should be and has to be if we want a clean house.

  • He does WAY more housework than I do. But I do 95% of the baby care and 100% of cooking.
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  • I actually prefer H does not do most of the housework- because he's not very thorough. He does the garbage and lots of other things around the house, but I'm mostly the one who does the housework, out of my own liking.

    He works really hard outside the home and I would never want to do his job, so I just kind of see this as my job. 

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  • I'm a SAHM for the next month or so if it makes a difference.  I do all of the cleaning with the exception of the kitchen after dinner.  H cleans that  about 50% of the time.  We split the laundry.  He does the garbage/recycling, and all of the mowing.
  • Sigh. This is the never ending battle in our house. I work part time and go to school part time while he works 40-50 hours so we both put in an equal amount of "work". But somehow I end up doing 90% of the housework. If I tell him to do something...make a "to-do list" (his idea not mine) it will get done. But I hate, hate, hate feeling like his mother and I think he should do something because he sees it needs to be done. His saving quality is that he is AWESOME with helping with the kids.
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  • Does someone coming in once a week or every two weeks for the deep cleaning fit in your budget at all?  
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  • He does a lot.  He very rarely cooks, but he will clean up.  He does the bathrooms sometimes and he vacuums more than I do.  He takes care of all the outside stuff.  He does laundry as much as I do.
  • We share everything. I tend to do more cooking (though he'll grill), and he takes care of the lawn and usually handles the snow removal. He also tends to do the laundry (or at least lug the basket downstairs for me). 

    All the cleaning gets split. We'll take turns on who cleans the bathroom, and who does floors, etc. We don't really discuss it. When we start cleaning, one of us will just start one place and the other will start in another place and we'll check every now and then when it's time to start a new task to see what has or has not been done. 

  • imageyankeebaby2:
    Does someone coming in once a week or every two weeks for the deep cleaning fit in your budget at all?  

    I wish it did. But we're trying to squirrel every bit of money away we can to clear up debt and buy a house. We usually do okay if we can get a routine down, but every single season change (we both work jobs that have busy and slow seasons) we go through this-- winter and spring I pick up his slack and he should pick up the slack in the summer and fall, but is just not working out like that! I don't think I'm expecting too much, but maybe I am! I'd be happy if he would wash dishes once or twice a week without complaining.

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  • My husband does absolutely zero, but neither do I so I guess we're even steven. 
  • Hardly anything.  He will take out the trash, recycle the newspapers and do the laundry but he has to be told to do these things.  He will occassionally cook dinner but I clean up.  He has no problem ordering in (and paying) for dinner several nights per week which is extremely helpful.  He will randomly pick up milk and other assorted items from the local market.  Sometimes it bothers me but for the most part, it doesn't.  I am one of those weird people who actually likes housework so I don't mind doing most of this stuff.
  • LJR 84LJR 84 member

    We're pretty close to 50/50.

    He takes the trash out, does all outside stuff, cat litter, vaccums somtimes, and helps cook & clean up the kitchen.

    I do most of the taking care of DD (diaper changes, bath time, feedings, etc), all laundry, bathrooms, and "deep cleaning".

    We never argue about housework...we just try to get done what we can. If anything, he tells me I do too much while pregnant. Thing is, if I didn't clean the bathrooms and do the laundry it probably wouldn't get done!

  • I have to spell out what needs to be done most of the time. I hate it and get resentful most of the time, but he just doesn't seem to 'see' what needs to be done. But he's perfectly willing to help most of the time if I ask nicely.
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  • imageKate621:
    I SAH so he doesn't do a lot. I'm also a control freak and would rather do things myself.

    Same in our household!

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  • imagebancbev:
    He does WAY more housework than I do. But I do 95% of the baby care and 100% of cooking.

    This is us as well.

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  • DH does the outside, car maintence, etc. I do the inside. Sometimes he will help me, sometimes not. I don't mind though. I need to be in control of the cleaning LOL
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  • he does all the dishes, vacuums, takes out garbage and sprays off diapers.
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  • He helps with changing diapers but he will only change pee not poop.  

    He doesn't help with the housework at all unless there are incentives like getting to go out with his friends without me blocking him 

  • kg_08kg_08 member

    I SAH so I do mostly everything. DH will occasionally vacuum for me, and he does all the "manly" things like mow the lawn...

    Honestly with him working 55 hours a week lately I feel bad he even has to do that.

    If we were both working it would be more of a 50/50 split though.

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  • He does quite a bit. Most of the vacuuming, clutter busting, dishes including DD's bottles, oxy cleaning DD's dirty clothes and taking out the trash.

    The laundry, DD's food & daycare stuff, mopping, food shopping, and bathrooms are all me.  We split the cooking

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  • I do all the laundry, most the cleaning, virtually all of the cooking and grocery shopping. He does most of the yard work, he takes care of the cars, and he's Mr. Fix-it if something breaks. That being said, I think it's still about 70-30 split with me doing most of the work. We both work full time. I tell him if he ever wants a second child, I need him to pitch in more.
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