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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
sapphire angel
member
No "mother of the year" award for me...
sapphire angel
member
This weekend has totally knocked me out of the running for Mother of the Year...for life, no redemption in sight:
Saturday Morning - LO wakes up with red-purple speckled bruise on her eyelid about the size of her pinkie nails. No idea what happened except that she woke up screaming at 5 but then calmed and went back to sleep.
Saturday afternoon - LO was protesting her nap when she fell (or tripped or who knows what happened) in her crib and there was a god awful crack that I heard all the way down the stairs. It must have been her head because I couldn't ever find bruises.
Saturday evening - LO slipped and knocked her head in the bath tub by jumping and (predictably) slipping during her shower
Sunday morning - LO's stubborn streak lead her to a tumble down the stairs because she didn't want to scoot and slide down
Sunday afternoon - fortunately she slept peacefully from about 1-5...after I pulled the mashed potatoes out of her nose
Sunday evening - twice she sat cross legged on the ottoman then leaned slightly back and her bottom slid off and she cracked her head on the ground. After calming her down from the second fall, she curled up in my lap and refused to go play anymore.
I keep prying LO's eyes open every hour or so to make sure her pupils are the same size and responsive and then feeling her head for any knots or bumps or soft spots (so far no problems at all, not even tender spots). Fortunately I think she survived the weekend without bruises but I'll have to look her over in the morning once any bruises have had time to develop and turn purple. The only way to make this worse is if we have to go see her doctor and I have to fess up to all of this...Yep...Mother of the Year right here...not...
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Re: No "mother of the year" award for me...
Ahh poor mama and poor baby. DD was sort of like that this weekend too. I tell myself she is growing and having trouble being aware of her body.... We were out to dinner and she insisted on sitting up on the big people chair. We took our eyes off her for a second and she fell off and ran into the wall next to us.
After consoling her she jumped right back up there....
So don't be too hard on yourself
The sound is usually a lot worse then what it usually is. If her Pupils are normal and reactive and she's not vomiting she's okay.
DS has bruises all over his legs, and usually has at least one bruise/scratch on his face. I'm surprised it doesn't cause more because he gets so clumsy, especially when he's tired (he walks like a drunk man when he's super tired).
I've pretty much given up trying to get him to be careful, he loves exploring and will throw a tantrum if I try to stop him. I figure, if he wants to explore he'll figure it out on his own that it'll hurt him. Because if I stop him each time, he'll keep going back to it until it hurts him and he realizes it.
Lately he has been really into closing and opening doors. Today he decided to keep his head in the doorway while closing the door and slammed it on himself. Left a pretty line down his face.... But now he scoots out of the way before closing the door.
Eleanor Noelle - 18/05/12 Claire Elisabeth - 16/-5/10
Did it cross your mind that I have probably tried all of those things and have ceased those attempts for one reason or another? The only way to get her off the ottoman is to get rid of it. I've already cleared out one closet for the other ottoman and now I have no where to hid this ottoman. No standing in the tub means no bath. She gets some nasty looking rashes if I withhold her baths as punishment. Sponge baths do not help. If I try to carry her down the stairs she head slams me then throws herself out of my arms while I'm dazed and then I still have the issue of her falling down the stairs only in this case it will be EVERY trip up and down the stairs rather than the few stubborn tries of her walking down the stairs. If I stand within 8 stair widths of her she starts jumping on the stairs and will wildly leap to lower stairs.
I have done what I can while protecting LO from her independence and stubbornness. I resent hearing that I am somehow not trying to protect my daughter. We had a bad weekend. If this was a daily report then I would think and feel differently. Your suggestions stopped working months ago (at about 12 to 13 months). Otherwise yes I would follow those but I've had to be more creative in controlling LO's daredevil behavior and this weekend she was more determined than ever before.
Did it cross your mind that I have probably tried all of those things and have ceased those attempts for one reason or another? The only way to get her off the ottoman is to get rid of it. I've already cleared out one closet for the other ottoman and now I have no where to hid this ottoman. No standing in the tub means no bath. She gets some nasty looking rashes if I withhold her baths as punishment. Sponge baths do not help. If I try to carry her down the stairs she head slams me then throws herself out of my arms while I'm dazed and then I still have the issue of her falling down the stairs only in this case it will be EVERY trip up and down the stairs rather than the few stubborn tries of her walking down the stairs. If I stand within 8 stair widths of her she starts jumping on the stairs and will wildly leap to lower stairs.
I have done what I can while protecting LO from her independence and stubbornness. I resent hearing that I am somehow not trying to protect my daughter. We had a bad weekend. If this was a daily report then I would think and feel differently. Your suggestions stopped working months ago (at about 12 to 13 months). Otherwise yes I would follow those but I've had to be more creative in controlling LO's daredevil behavior and this weekend she was more determined than ever before.
Im sorry who is the parent and who is the child? From what you just described here your child has all the control. Start saying no before you have an out of control child.
1. Do not take the bath away tell her to sit on her bottom if she does not, make her sit if she can not take out all toys and wash her and take her right out. She needs to learn that she needs to listen in order to have a fun bath/shower
2. If she gets on the ottoman take her off tell her NO YES TELL YOUR CHILD NO IT WILL NOT KILL HER TO HEAR IT. If she does not listen remove her. We have an ottoman its pushed to the side of the wall and when ds2 goes near it he gets a stern no if he starts to climb he gets a NO again and removed away from it. If he goes back to it, he goes to time out for 1 min. (yes gasp my son goes to time out).
3. stairs: give your child the choice either scoot down or you will carry her. Im sorry but there is a way to carry her without getting head butted in the face. I would rather have a child that is playing in my livingroom the laying at the bottom of the stairs with a broken limb or a break neck because I could not stand my ground to a child.
The point is you are the parent and you are letting your child run all over you. Take a stand before your child gets hurt. 6times in one weekend with at least 4 of those that could have been prevented with simple parenting is just irresponisble.
Accidents happen but I kind of agree. That many in a weekend is not good, there is no way I would let my child go down the stairs in a dangerous way, just carry her. I have a friend who believes in no baby gates, no baby proofing because it's better for them to get hurt and learn. I think that is silly. Her son walked around with a gash on his head that showed bone. (I am not her friend anymore for her parenting choices).
There are ways to encourage independence and protect your LO's safety. Not menaing to be harsh, I know we have all been there.
Yeah, I agree too. There are some accidents that you just can't prevent. My son is notorious for trying to stand on walls and then slipping and conking his forehead against them. But you can babyproof as much as possible. I have a strict no standing in the tub rule because of how dangerous that is. Also, stairs are one of the most dangerous parts of your house and should be treated as such. They really should be gated so your LO can't go up/down without permission, and even then by only holding your hand or having you right there.
We certainly can't prevent every little fall, but at least present the safest environment possible for them to explore. You need to be the mother in these situations and just deal if she throws a fit about it.
Make her sit in the bath tub, don't "with hold baths as punishment" - that's not what anyone implied here. Children need baths for their basic needs, they do not need to stand up to have them. Not an option, in my opinion, for my kid to stand in the tub.
If you can't move the ottoman into a different room and close the door (your bedroom? spare room? office? basement? attic? garage?), you should get some of the foam mats, put the ottoman on top. Then if you don't get to her in time to redirect she wont be hitting the floor as hard.
Accidents happen, but I see these ones as almost neglectful on your part, obviously that's not your intention for your child, but it's definately not okay for this to be all happening in one weekend.
LO has been standing in her bath since 13 months old and has only slipped and hit her head twice. I have never met a child or mother whose child actually sat and stayed sitting during an entire bath. I suppose you don't even allow your child to splash around as that might also cause them to slip along the tub and consequently fall backwards and bang their heads.
LO is not allowed to stand, dance, jump or do anything except sit on furniture and that includes the ottoman. She's allowed a small toy up there if she can get herself and the toy up there at the same time. She wasn't even bouncing around while she was sitting the two times she fell. She just slightly leaned back and because her bottom was near the edge she slipped off. I wasn't aware that I would be called a bad mother because I let her sit on furniture in the middle of a carpeted room. She does get timeout the second she stands on furniture.
Lo has already learned to walk up the stairs and has been experimenting with walking down the stairs. Normally she gets on her tummy and surfs down the stairs because she is usually in a hurry. But this weekend she wanted to take her time and try to step down one at a time. She had made it the first 6 steps before tumbling down another few steps to where I was standing. This morning she walked all the way down and even safely navigated the corner steps. But apparently I'm a bad mother for letting her learn this so early.
I don't mind LO's tantrums and I ignore them when they happen, which is often. Most especially when she is messing with the electrical outlets (which are plugged) and power cords. We have been doing timeout since 12 months old and it has been effective for behaviors such as standing on furniture, messing with power cords, opening the oven or reaching for the stove, etc...
I agree somewhat. Parenting is hard. I understand wanting to raise a strong and independent DD, but her hitting you because she wants to walk down the stairs is not ok. The bath thing is something I'm sure 99% of parents deal with. DD2 gets 2 chances. The first time she gets a warning and a stern no. The second time she stands up, bath time is over. I tell her why, and take her out and dry her off.
If she falls off the ottoman, then move it, turn it upside down, and put it in a corner. That just doesn't sound safe.
I don't think anyone is saying you are a bad parent, but some of the choices are questionable.
Ok - the bath thing? Not a big deal IMO. DD stands in the bath, but I do make sure to keep an extra sharp eye on her constantly, and I'm always either IN the bath with her or sitting right next to it so would be able to catch her if necessary.
The other things? Totally preventable IMO. My kids aren't allowed on the furniture unless it's for DD's night time sippy of milk. In that case, she sits and snuggles with DH. If she was sitting close enough to the edge to fall just by slightly leaning backwards, you should have moved her or had her get down. Period. DS has learned to climb on couches, but not off yet. Every.single.time he gets on the couch I stop whatever I'm doing and go remove him. He WILL fall, and I, as parent CAN prevent it.
The stairs? 16 mos is WAY too young to be allowing to go down several stairs on her own. Period. You should be walking right next to her holding her hand/walking right behind her going up/walking right in front of her going down or being within a few steps facing her so if she falls, you have the best possible chance of catching her. You CAN hold your child without her head butting you. Period. YOU are the parent. YOU have control. I can't imagine a child that is SO strong willed about going down the stairs alone that she gets violent the second you pick her up. That would be YOUR fault for allowing it.
I have gone down the stairs several times while holding DD's hand, and she's gotten pissed that I've been holding her hand. She will pick her feet up and throw a tantrum, but you can sure as hell bet that I am not letting go of that hand while going up/down the stairs because SHE WILL FALL. So yes, I hold her by one hand and carry her down the stairs.
Kids need structure. They need discipline. There's a reason I have no ottomans in my living room. There's a reason my kids aren't allowed to climb on the couches (yes, even in a carpeted living room). There's a reason I keep a close eye on my kids in the tub. Kids fall. Accidents happen. You can't prevent it all the time, and that's fine. Unfortunately, I feel very strongly that you could have prevented a good majority of these situations without being a hovercraft parent.
I think the difference here is that if your DD starts to jump around and it gets to be dangerous you know how to say NO. The OP does not thus making it a dangerous situation.
Oh, I wholeheartedly agree. I was just pointing out that I'm not in the camp of "NO STANDING IN THE BATHTUB EVER OMG YOU'RE SUCH A BAD MOTHER"....just slightly less strict. But you're right, I have absolutely no qualms about saying no in any situation to her. Because I'm the mother.
I understand and like I stated earlier my ds who is 21 months does not stand in the tub because he can not be trusted too. He sits on his bottom only and if he can not we finish washing and then gets out. With OP's daughter she has been hurt twice in the tub thus making the situation dangerous and she needs to be sitting and not given the option.