Naming without knowing gender?

Baby Ts Mommy · June 2011

I recently went to a counselor who suggested naming our twins might be helpful in coping with our loss. However, we don't know if they were boys or girls. They were identical so we know they both would have been the same gender.

I like the idea of naming them but how would I do this without knowing? Has anyone done this?

jakdw · June 2011

So sorry for you..I didn't know the gender of mine..but since I have 2 other boys and I wanted a girl so bad...we just assumed it was a boy and called him Nathan since I found out I was pregnant. So I named him Nathan Jeremy..even though it could have been a girl. Just go with you gut..or you could do an either or name, that could either be boy or girl names. It helped me to name even though he was only in there for 8 weeks..Good luck with your decision.

MegMeg0913 · June 2011

It seems that most go with either gender neutral names or just go with whatever their gut instinct was on the gender. GL honey. I hope that this helps with your healing. ~hugs~

MrsJC · June 2011

I think what your counselor is suggesting is a great idea. I know that naming my babies really helped me find some peace. I had a gut feeling about the sex of both babies during my pregnancies, but even so, I chose names for them that are gender-neutral. Just go with your gut and choose whatever names feel right to you.

millejj1 · June 2011

I agree that naming your twins will be really helpful. It took me about a year to get to the point that I could name Alex, but once I did it felt so much better.

I agree with going with whatever name feels right to you.

DCWJes · June 2011

With my losses, with the first one, DH felt it was a girl and we named her Angelique Marie. With the last loss, DH felt it was a boy (I agreed) and we kept the name we had from the beginning and kept a masculine middle name, with Sprout Ryker. I know its hard to decide what to name them but you have the option of gender neutral or going with your gut. For us, going with our gut was easier. HTH and GL *hugs* I am sorry for your losses.

alschiefer · June 2011

I am so sorry for your losses. I too am having a hard time moving past the loss of our LO's and my DH, just the other night, suggested that we do this. We did not know the gender of either of our LO's but have decided to name one boy and one girl. We haven't picked the names yet, but I think once we decide I will feel much better. I just feel horrible that whenever we talk about them I always just say Baby 1 and Baby 2...they are so much more to me than just some generic title...

Good luck and I hope that naming them brings you some peace!

over40momma · June 2011

Sweet mommy, you have been through so much and my heart hurts for you, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

We gave our baby (lost at 12 weeks in utero) initials, as we had for all our children before they were born. So "Baby B.K." was our little one and one initial is a boy name and one is a girl. That solved the problem of not knowing the gender and a sweet memory in our heart.

Much love...

melissa721 · June 2011

We had a silly NN for our baby that we used with each other. It was "blueberry" because of the bump fruit ticker. MH liked that fruit the best. I'm not suggesting you name the babies after fruit, but maybe just a neutral nickname. My phantom baby/the baby I am currently TTC is now "the comeback kid" and probably will be until well after I become pregnant.

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