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February 2011 Moms
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do you feel guilty about having to say no...

sarag0116sarag0116 member
in February 2011 Moms

I often feel bad if I can't attend something b/c of LO.  Take for example today.  My boss is having a pool party at her house from 3 to 7pm.  She lives 40 minutes away.  DH is working all day and I've been torn about going.  My issues are 1.  DD is not a good car rider, she needs someone sitting in the back to keep her from crying  2.  staying long isn't going to be easy b/c she's young, it's 90+ degrees, etc.  3.  call me selfish but I would have to nurse her at least twice, maybe 3 times while we're there which would involve me having to leave the party and go somewhere private. 

Overall, I just feel that it's not worth the effort.  If DH was not working, we would 100% go, b/c it would just be so much easier.  I feel bad about not going and I wonder if having a 4 month old baby is an excuse or if people think I should just suck it up?

PS-- I am not upset about things I cannot do b/c of LO.  I adore every minute with her and to me, that's just part of having an infant.   And for the record, we do take LO lots of places.  We do weekly friend dinners, go out to eat, go shopping, etc.  But we don't do things long distance very often

What is your opinion on this (way too long) post?

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Re: do you feel guilty about having to say no...

  • greyt00greyt00 member
    I wouldn't feel guilty.  Does your boss have kids?  If so, I'm sure she understands, and if not, she may or may not understand.... but either way I wouldn't worry about it.  I wouldn't think it's worth the effort, either.

     
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  • twirlyjack73twirlyjack73 member
    I wouldn't feel bad for a second.  Firstly LO comes before your boss.  Secondly doing anything with LO is like a military operation. 
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  • RumbleLinaRumbleLina member

    I have said no to things that were even just 15 minutes away because it interferred with DS' bedtime.  DS is a total bear when his schedule gets messed up and there are certain things that are not worth it. If MH was around to help out I was be more okay with it but the things I have said no to he wasn't and there was no way I would want to deal with a grumpy DS by myself.

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  • StephDKStephDK member
    I think that you answered you own question :). Of course having a 4 month old is a reason to not be able to make different events, let alone ones that are 40+ minutes away.
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  • GracieMaeLoveyGracieMaeLovey member

    Nah, try not to sweat it.  People get it- atleast they should.  Don't you know having a baby is the ultimate trump card!?  Hahaha.  I totally get everything you're saying- we've all been there!

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  • TiffanyTheMomTiffanyTheMom member

    Well, if it weren't for the drive I'd go! I have a nursing cover, and I have no problem feeding her with a group of people around. She only takes a few minutes to nurse, and with her in one arm I can slug back a Vanilla Coke with the other. I'm that cool.

    But yeah, my LO HATES her car seat as well, but I'm fortunate that once we get going she calms down. She totally hates being strapped in though, and I wouldn't want to drive 40 min to a party where she wouldn't get an adequate nap and then have to hear her yelling all the way back... can't blame you. If they were 20 min away, that'd be doable. 

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  • myszkomyszko
    I know how you feel. Yesterday, my friend asked what I was doing at 6pm today. Well bed time is between 6 and 7:30 depending on naps the day, sooo I can't do anything. My sister and her husband want hair cuts this week (I am/was a stylist) and they can't be over until 6:30 when they get out of work. Well, that doesn't work either. Sorry people! DD comes first. I don't think it's fair to try to keep her awake for things. We tried taking her to a family get together once in the evening and it was a disaster. Try not to feel bad for not going. You have learned the limitations by now of what will work and what won't. Sounds like the pool party is a NO to me.
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  • sarag0116sarag0116 member
    Thanks ladies.  I need to hear other people's perspectives so I appreciate your input!
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