NBR: Can I be pissed about this? (Long)

LilBug2011 · June 2011

Ok, so this is kind annoying. Here is the story; my brother is 6 years older than me yet I have always been the more mature one. I love him and appreciate him but he has always looked down on my mature life choices that I've made throughout my life. Anyway; when I got engaged at 25; he was not yet engaged and was not the least bit happy for me. 4 weeks later he gets engaged to an on-again-off girlfriend--and announces it during a dinner my parents took my DH and I out to to celebrate with everyone. I was super supportive but still a little annoyed...he talked about an extravagant wedding with a famous band and rubbed it in my face. Fast forward to now; he is still engaged to the same girl and rescheduled the wedding 3 times; he announced to the family this weekend that they chose a wedding date/location. The date is 5days before my due date and in my sister's backyard (which is perfect and beautiful but def. not the type of venu that would be booked on any other weekend.) I was shocked and didn't say anything, my mom and DH are REALLY pissed and my sisters aren't saying anything. I don't know how to react or if I even have a right to upset...kinda can't help it at the moment. I KNOW it isn't all about me...so I am trying to be happy for him but it is just so typical. Honestly, am I being a horrible sister?

Miss Shasta · June 2011

He sounds like he always needs to be the center of attention? I would try to talk to him about it. But if he insists on keeping that date, I wouldn't worry to much. From what youve said, he will more than likely be changing the date anyway! But yes, you can totally be annoyed by this.

stephlhy · June 2011

I would be pretty pissed too. I think it's pretty inconsiderate, especially because it's the third time he's rescheduled...obviously he's in no rush to get married, so why can't he wait?

3puppymama · June 2011

I agree completely! DH's cousin is getting married the day before my due date. They booked the venue before our LO was even a glimmer in our eye. That's understandable. However a backyard wedding can be planned for any time... I would be totally annoyed. Does your brother realize the repercussions of planning a wedding that close to your due date? What if your water breaks in the middle of the ceremony? He may be trying to steal your thunder and it could totally backfire on him...has he even thought about that???

bre86ann · June 2011

Well here's my question: Has he considered the fact that there's a pretty good chance that you won't be able to be there? I mean 5 days before you EDD is cutting it very close. I feel like even 2 weeks before/after would be cutting it too close, but 5 days??? There's a chance that you'll be giving birth as he's saying his "I Do's" and how would that make his wife feel if at the reception everyone is talking about you having your baby instead of how beautiful she looks??

It just doens't seem very well thought out.

mabma80 · June 2011

I agree. He's is trying to keep the attention on himself and off of you. Sibling jealousy is a crazy thing. I would talk to your mom since you know she's upset about this too. Also, talk to your sister about it with your mom there so you can all be on the same page. Then i would confront your brother about what a bad idea it is to have their wedding so close to your due date.

Seriously, what if you go into labor on their wedding day? Your family will have to choose between being there for you and the baby or the wedding (which sounds like it wont last that long anyway)? Anybody can see that he's totally doing it to spite you and have everybody "oo and ahh" over him.

LilBug2011 · June 2011

Well here's my question: Has he considered the fact that there's a pretty good chance that you won't be able to be there?

That's the other thing...when I talked to him he said: " I know its cutting it close but we would totally understand if you couldn't share this day with us. Just do the best you can." And he was dead serious. It was pretty much that statement that made speechless. I mean this is my first baby and I know that most FTMs are late but not all. I honestly feel like its taking away from their day as well as my own. We can and should both be able to have our day. I know I have to talk to him; not sure how but I will absolutely talk to my mom and sisters first! Thanks for the validation, everyone!!

nikkimouse323 · June 2011

IMO, he is being selfish. He may just be doing this to try to spite you but he does he realize it may end up spiting your entire family? If you do happen to be in labor on his wedding day, it is going to put your family right smack in the middle of his rivalry. It would not be fair for your mother to have to choose between her son and her daughter. I hope everything works out for you! All in a sentence, YES you can be pissed!!

vbelanger · June 2011

LilBug2011:

That's the other thing...when I talked to him he said: " I know its cutting it close but we would totally understand if you couldn't share this day with us. Just do the best you can." And he was dead serious. It was pretty much that statement that made speechless. I mean this is my first baby and I know that most FTMs are late but not all. I honestly feel like its taking away from their day as well as my own. We can and should both be able to have our day. I know I have to talk to him; not sure how but I will absolutely talk to my mom and sisters first! Thanks for the validation, everyone!!

This made me speechless! ' Just do the bust you can' Really?! You dont really have a choice in the matter if baby decides to come. I think he is definately being selfish about this.

CurbsideProphet · June 2011

I think you have a right to be annoyed, especially based on what he said.

CupcakeJill · June 2011

He does realize that babies arnt so good at coming on their actual due dates, right?

stace114 · June 2011

WOWZERS! There are like 50 reasons this is redic (number 1...Sep is around the corner and your pregnancy has been known for a while now...what are they THINKING! They ovb don't care...If this had been planned before you announced the pregnancy...it would be way different....

And Um most importantly...not only if you DO go into labor on that will YOU miss the ceremony etc... but wouldn't you want your FAMILY to be there...um Mom,Dad,Sisters,BROTHER?? lol I just can't get over. So if you go into labor your supposed to not have your mom or whatever family you wanted to? I feel like he is making your family choose potentially....that's really unfair to your family! I wonder if your mom might try and talk to him saying it putting ppl in an uncomfortable predicament...GOOD LUCK!!

Lissa832 · June 2011

It certainly isn't something I'd do, but at the same time, he can choose whatever day he would like. The day is about them, and they don't really need to cater to anyone's needs but their own. If your family is so against the date, then why did your sister agree to let them have the wedding on her property at that time? Like I said, I wouldn't have done this, and I can see why you are annoyed. It doesn't sound like you are very close, so I wouldn't really worry about it.

jurcgirl · June 2011

I understand why you would be mad, sad, angry..I would be too. What can you do about it though? Siblings are so hard...we get mad at them the easiest and (most times) we forgive them the easiest.

Not for nothing, here is my advice. Tell him how you feel. From the heart. Then let it go. Concentrate on the baby....you can't control what he does..you can feel hurt by what he does (and rightfully so, this was a jerk off move)..but for you and that baby let it go and forgive him...and realize you can only control you.

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