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February 2011 Moms
XP: HELP!!! In desperate need of ANY BF'ing suggestions! ((LONG))
This is going to sound like one of those "my friend" needs help stories, but that's exactly what it is.
Our friend (my husbands best friends wife) had a baby 2 weeks ago and when we visited her in the hospital bf'ing was going as well as expected on the first day. My husband has been talking to his best friend and he said they are doing great with every thing. Well, we stopped by to visit tonight and she confidently said he was really hungry, so she was bottle feeding now and combining BM and F. I never try to push my BF'ing beliefs, so of course I didn't ask any questions about her decision. She is on a very precise schedule (feeding the baby by bottle and pumping) and had to pump in the middle of our visit. Well, after 30 minutes, she came back and was in the kitchen, so I went in to let her know I had some Similac coupons and samples I could give to her. She broke down. It started with her saying she hates that she is giving him formula and snow balled into she feels like she has failed and what a horrible mother she is. My heart absolutely broke for her! I offered HUGE hugs and reassuring words about how hard it is at first and what an awesome Mom she is and pretty much anything else I could possibly say to make her feel better. She is also upset that she has a low supply and only gets 1 ounce each pumping session. I asked if she had contacted LLL or her pedi for an LC, but she said she is too embarrassed and feels like too much of a failure to do so.
Her husband goes back to work on Tuesday and I'm sure those emotions are building up too. So, I have offered to come back on Tuesday and attempt to help her with the breast feeding. This is my problem...I have had an easy time nursing compared to the stories I have read, so I'm not very knowledgeable in this area. What can I do to help? He has been bottle feeding for 2 weeks. Will a nipple shield help? I told her to put a warm compress on before pumping and maybe that will aide in her milk let down process. Any other suggestions for low supply?
Thank you, thank you! I REALLY appreciate any suggestions you have. My heart is breaking for her and how she is feeling right now.
EDIT: I forgot to mention he is having latching problems, that is the main reason she is bottle feeding, along with him not getting enough.
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Re: XP: HELP!!! In desperate need of ANY BF'ing suggestions! ((LONG))
I didn't have any supply issues either, but a few friends have. I know that they make lactation cookies, eat lots of real oatmeal, and drink Mother's Milk tea...which has fenugreek in it. Pumping and breastfeeding as much as possible. From what I understand, even the baby's saliva on her nipple will encourage more milk production. I would tell her that it is a common issue and not to stress about it (easier said than done). Let down, from what I have read, is a reflex and stress would only impede that. Many successful BF mommas have a rough start and end up BF for a long time!! It's still so early and they are both still learning.
I definitely recommend a LLL meeting or maybe since she is embarrassed, a phone call with a lactation consultant. Many times the LC will make house calls. I don't know if a nipple shield will help if her only issue is low supply. I wonder how the latch is??
He is not latching on either, so that was the main thing I was going to try to help her with.
I will definitely be looking up lactation cookie recipes and buying mother's milk tea...does BRU carry this?
I am still going to try to convince her of LLL, but I want to try to help asap. It may take time for her to come around. Hmmm...maybe I could find a meeting and go with her!
Lurking, but I this post popped out at me.
You should really encourage her to speak with an LLL contact. Or even to contact her pedi to make sure that there isn't an underlying issue (tongue tied, etc).
I never had any luck with pumping and am grateful that I'm a stay at home mom, so no real need to pump. But like her, I never got much when I did try.
Encourage her to nurse often.
If he's still "really hungry" she should be offering him the breast more often. At least every hour to 1.5hrs... and going no more than 2 hrs between nursing sessions. Not following this in the first few weeks can drastically cut your supply. Your body will only produce as much milk as the baby needs. So nursing more frequently, encourages more milk to be made.
To unlatch him if he's not on properly (as much of the areola as possible).
To help bring her supply up, I would really encourage Fenugreek. 1 capsule 3x/day - within a few days, she should start smelling like maple syrup. With that, she'll know that she's taking enough. If she doesn't, then she should take 2 capsules 3x/day.
I'd also encourage her to perhaps try a breast shield. Sometimes when little ones are having issues with proper latching, a shield can work wonders.
You should reassure her that A LOT of women & babies have issues with nursing. Especially with their first. It's TOTALLY common and nothing to be embarrassed or feel like a failure over.
Come on Sticky baby!!
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That tea is good, but you really do have to drink like, 8 cups a day to help, supposedly. There is a great supplement called More Milk Plus that realllllly helped me in the beginning. If you take it as instructed, it is great. And you take less than just fenugreek alone.
A nipple shield will help with latching issues. Have her practice in a quiet dark room, with some nice music playing that she likes. Just to help her relax. Remind her that she is feeding her baby so that is great either way. So no need to be stressed out right now. She has time to get back on track breast feeding.
Good for you for being a great friend
I went to 1 LLL meeting. My local meetings are only once a month on Monday mornings and so by the time I got out of the house to go to one DD was already a month old and there was only the 1 before I went back to work. Anyhow, it was fantastic. I was a little embarrassed at first, but the women there were super supportive. Offer to go with her.
I agree with PP to have her try to nurse more often. The nipples have to be stimulated in the right way for the milk production to be triggered. That being said, nursing in the beginning is hard. I wore cold packs on my nipples for a couple of weeks!
Actually, I was lucky enough to have the latch issues the 2nd night in the hospital. DD and I had been doing great... and then suddenly she wouldn't latch. I broke down and started sobbing. DH started yelling at me. And then I finally said enough is enough and called the nurse in. It was so embarrassing! But you know what? It helped. She got her attached. We nursed. And then the nurse took DD for some testing so that I could relax and sleep.
At 2 weeks PP that's a lot of what your friend needs. Sleep. Offer to take her lo to her living room and tell her to go to bed, close the door, and get some sleep.
A nipple shield can help with him latching on, but not her supply. But if it means he will latch and nurse then THAT will help boost her supply. The tea doesnt work too great and it tastes awful, I think you would need to drink like 6 cups a day for it to work. If you go to a health food store try to get an herbal drops supplement called 'More Milk Plus'. Its like $20 for a bottle and tell her to take the amount instructed on the back for if you are 175 pounds plus, its a little higher and then once she is noticing higher supply she can drop down the dosage. I started the drops when I had to pump more when I went back to work and instead of 8 oz in 2 pumping sessions I can get 9.5-11 now with the drops.
Also her pumping output does not indicate her supply, the baby gets much more then the pump will once he latches on but she needs to be feeding and pumping in between feedings like every 3 hours to produce enough. I dont know what kind of pump she has but she really should go to her local hospital/LC and ask about renting the hospital grade pump. They get a much higher output and they are recommended in the first month. The cost varies but most are around $60 a month to rent.
How much you pump has NO relation to how much milk you produce when there's a baby on the breast! A baby perfectly stimulates milk production and letdown, whereas a machine that isn't even cute only can get so much. AND, being that her baby is just a couple weeks old, she's not going to produce much anyway because she/he only needs about 1-2 oz per feeding right now! She should NOT be so hard on herself. She sounds like it's going well, for pumping anyway!
If the baby's having a hard time latching, have her go to Target and pick up a nipple shield or two. Two of my 3 children had latch problems, and this thing saved my breastfeeding dreams. I did have to use it for a month, but in one month the baby learns how to latch on, how much nipple needs to be in the mouth, and the mother is far, far less sore by that point.
Newborns eat every 2 hours, and if he seems 'really hungry' more often than that, it's either reflux of some sort, or she ate something that's made him gassy. Babies tend to feel stomach pain and think eating will make it go away. Which, it does- pushing in more milk helps push out the old milk and the gassy stuff. Buy her some infant Mylicon too, this made my LO's have a bit easier of a time digesting for the first few months. I posted for someone not too long ago the list of foods that can cause gas in sensitive-tummied babies, maybe you should get that to her and see if she modifies her diet, if that might help. I'd ask her if she's willing to modify her diet for a couple weeks and see how he is then. If he's the same, it's probably reflux and she needs to see the ped.