toddler tantrums with newborns?

Re: toddler tantrums with newborns?

• kelleighxnicole member

  June 2011

  My daughter will be 20 months old on Tuesday. She started behavior like this a few months back. There's really no rhyme or reason as to why she does it, it seems. She'll just get irate about something, usually while trying to show me what it is that she wants, and nothing I do calms her down. I think the problem is they can't properly express what they want us to do for them or get for them, so they stomp and kick in frustration, then of course we get frustrated, which they pick up on, in turn making them act worse. My son will be three months old next week, and he's a very fussy baby at times, and sometimes, during her tantrums. It's not easy, I'll tell you, but you have to weigh out who's needs are more important at the moment. For instance, if I know my little boy is completely fine (fed, dry diaper, clean cloths, not cold or in pain, etc) but is just fussing - and my 20 month old is freaking out because she wants/needs something - I simply put him down in his swing or chair, and tend to her to try to calm her down. I notice when she gets my undivided attention she eventually calms down, and then usually by the time I get back to my son he's done with his fit, too. So, in a nutshell, my advice is when the newborn needs something, let your daughter stomp her feet and pout and throw her tantrum until your newborn's needs are met, and then sit her down and deal with her. That's my best advice, sorry it's not the best but I'm still trying to figure out a remedy for the same issue! Good luck.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• WhitePicketFence member

  June 2011

  I wish I had some advice for you. We're in the midst of the tantrum stage with DD right now (she naps well though), too, and my belly is huge at this point. She's even kicked me in the stomach mid-tantrum when I've attempted to pick her up and remove her from the situation. I just deal with the tantrums as best I can and hope she'll grow out of this stage soon.

  

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• agmaso

  June 2011

  You never know what will happen so my best advice would be to not stress to much and just go with it. Who knows... your toddler may be taken aback by a tiny little thing being able to  scream louder then her

  I actually thought it was easier when baby came... it provided a distraction. I was actually "doing something" as opposed to trying to ignore her meltdowns which just prompted her to follow me around. And giving her my attention by trying to find something to distract her with didn't work either. So baby was perfect... I'd start doing something and more often then not she wanted to join us and she had to calm down.

   

   

  

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• kcisthebombdotcom member

  June 2011

  Honestly, I think once you have her on a good nap schedule, you'll see her tantrums diminish. They wont go away entirely of course, but the frequency will.

  Whenever my son has a tantrum, I ignore the behavior, and when he calms down I try to offer food or try to get him down for a nap. 9 times out of 10, if he's throwing a tantrum, its because he needs sleep or food.

  

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• bridgeybride

  June 2011

  Thank you ALL for your great advice.. I really appreciate it.  I read your replies to my DH (who thinks the bump.com is a waste of time)--- and he NOW understands why I go on here to ask for advice... he also appreciates your advice too.  Thanks for helping win him over... I know we have a rough year ahead of us, but will get through it okay.

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