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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
RingOfFire11
member
BF - I'M PLEADING FOR HELP!!!
RingOfFire11
member
My baby was born on 6/7/11 and BF was challenging at the hospital to say the least. We finally got in a rhythm and it was pretty smooth by the time we left on Thursday afternoon. Now, I am literally losing my mind! The milk started coming in yesterday and she will not latch at all anymore. The lactation specialist told us at the hospital that we could always give her a little spoon full at the end of each feeding. Well....we tried the spoon full to just get her to get something in her tummy. I could get her to talk an oz that way from what I was barely able to get out from manually pumping. This turned into her feeding from a spoon all day yesterday which I think severely upset her tummy. 
She screams constantly and I cry just as much, if not more. Today, the milk is in even more and my boobs are like rocks and I can barely get anything to pump and I'm now trying give her breast milk through a bottle which she's struggling with too. PLEASE HELP ME!!! I am losing my marbles and I know it's not helping. I don't want to give up but I just gave her an oz of formula because she would not stop crying. [I'm crying right now because I feel like such a failure].
She screams constantly and I cry just as much, if not more. Today, the milk is in even more and my boobs are like rocks and I can barely get anything to pump and I'm now trying give her breast milk through a bottle which she's struggling with too. PLEASE HELP ME!!! I am losing my marbles and I know it's not helping. I don't want to give up but I just gave her an oz of formula because she would not stop crying. [I'm crying right now because I feel like such a failure]. 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BF - I'M PLEADING FOR HELP!!!
It sounds like you are too engorged/edematous to get a good latch. You need to try some reverse pressure softening so she can get a good latch. Don't pump, only manually express because if you have edema you could make it worse and make it harder for her to latch. You can do it! You have the milk there, you just both need to work at it. Remember she is learning too!
Don't supplement. Your supply is supply and demand. Supplementing is the last thing you want to do. Also call La Leche League in your area and talk to a leader and get some support over the phone. Talking to a real person would probably help. They are there to hear you cry and help and support you. You are NOT a failure.
Are the Lactation Consultants at your hospital good? If so, I would call them. One of my boys was in the NICU for a week and my LC offered to let me come in as often as I needed to get help with feedings if he had any issues.
Also, what kind of pump do you have? If your boobs are full, you should be able to get something when you pump. When my boobs are really hard, I usually pump for a few minutes before I feed my boys - they have difficultly latching on if they are really hard.
Keep your chin up, and give yourself some credit, it takes some time to get it all figured out!
I am right there with you. My baby was also born on the 7th! Congratulations! My milk has come in and my breasts are so sore and engorged. I was at my breaking point last night when my mom gave me some tips. They provided a bit of relief & a bit is better than none.
Try:
- putting hot wash cloths on your breasts to help with the engorgement.
- buying a head of cabbage and freezing individual leaves & place over breasts until thawed. (This is a bit of a pain because of the cold, but I've tried it 15 minutes before the last 4 feedings and it has helped.)
- if your nipple is too swollen and hard, baby can't latch on properly and therefore cannot drain your breasts to give you relief. Try hand expressing some milk on to a cloth or breast pad before feeding the baby. It will help your nipple become softer and the baby may have an easier time.
- Feed often. Even if it is only for a minute or two. Sometimes my baby won't stay latched on at all. He will suck for a moment or two and then stop. I have found that by grasping my nipple and making it flat like a pancake in his mouth prompts him to suck, and I think makes it easier for him too.
I think it sucks for a lot of women, but I know it gets easier. I'm struggling too, you are not alone! Good Luck mama!
#1. Take a deep breath.
#2. Dig through the crap they gave you at the hospital. There might be a business card/flier to a local breast feeding assistance group. In my area, it was A Baby Cafe. They were wonderful, and came to my home for a consultation. If you don't see anything in there, your local WIC office can aid you or the LLL group. A Baby Cafe and WIC were free for me, but the LLL group wanted a membership fee.
#3. Have you tried the Lick and Learn technique? Where you self-express a bit and put the baby to your breast? When baby is upset and crying, you are not going to get her to latch if she is having trouble latching now. The best results are going to come from when she and you are calm and relaxed.
#4. https://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11218467 If you have having trouble getting your nipple to form right these do help.
#5. Feeding from the breast is for you, not the baby. Baby doesnt care where the food comes from as long as they get it. There is nothing wrong with expressing your milk into a bottle and feeding it to her that way. If you can only get a little milk, you can mix that into formula but dont shake the bottle, swirl it or you will break up the good proteins that is in the breast milk.
#6. You are not a failure. I assumed that my breasts would do as they were damn well told and boy was I wrong. My daughter is formula fed and is happy and healthy. It was not my choice to formula feed her - I tried to breast feed but was unsuccessful. I can assure you, we are bonded and in love with all of the hearts, rainbows and unicorn farts I could ever want.
#7. If you have your heart set on breast feeding you need to address this immediately. The more you feed from a bottle, the harder it will be for her to go back to your breast. Even moreso if you are using a pacifier as well. If she is having trouble latching onto a bottle too you should call your pediatrician and see what they suggest.
The most important thing is that your baby gets fed, no matter how you do it or if it's formula or not. Do your best to stay calm (heh, yeah right, I know) but really really try hard to stay relaxed. I was literally in your shoes two months ago. I really, truly understand. I can honestly say that as much as I wanted to breast feed, the world didnt come to a fiery end because I couldnt. I am okay, the baby is thriving. You arent a failure, its not your fault, and it's going to be okay. Trust me.
this.
also try hand expressing in a hot shower to relieve the pressure before you feed or pump. it sounds like you are swelling and so the milk cant get out. try some advil to get the swelling down.
Hang in there! The two weeks are the hardest. I have three suggestions:
1. Like the PP said, try to express some milk before latching. Its really hard for newborns (and older babies too) to latch if you are engorged. Also, make sure you are supporting your breast after the latch if you are engorged. Your breast is really heavy and will if your newborn has to support the weight they will get really tired quickly.
2. Try a different hold. If you have been using cradle hold, try football (my personal favorite). This way different parts of your nipple will be used, so you don't get to sore. Also your LO might like a different hold better.
3. Try to feed your LO before she/he is screaming in hunger. When they get so upset they don't feed well. Look for early hunger cues, like rooting, or sticking tongue out. Also keep a close eye on the clock, just offer the breast every 1.5-2 hours during the day, even if your LO doesn't appear hungry. That way you wont get to engorged, and your LO wont get so hungry that its difficult to eat.
first, you are doing great!
1. i use a nipple guard from medela it works great!my baby will not feed with out it.
2. then a little breastmilk in a srenge and dot the milk on her lips and on your breast.
3. befor pumping take a hot shower or put heating packs on your breast while pumping. also, massage breast while pumping to push down milk.
good luck
Have you tried a Medela nipple shield? Make sure you invert it halfway before putting it on so that it pulls the nipple out and creates a tight seal. It helps with the latch and for me also helped manage the fast flow into baby's mouth when I was engorged. I would also manually pump for about 30 seconds to help with the latch; it helped pull the nipple out further and also relieved some of the pressure in my breasts. I struggled with similar issues and called the lactation consultants at the hospital for help.
Hang in there...I promise it DOES get easier!!!
Mommy to Rachel 1.15.06 and Ashley 5.17.11
Feeding at the hospital is so different. DD was born June 1st. I had a lactation consultant come to the house. It was so helpful.
Yup. Keep trying to get her to latch. But in the meantime, get yourself a good pump and express some milk for your own sanity/comfort.
I totally disagree that you need to make you and LO miserable just to breastfeed. You need to make sure your LO is fed, first and foremost. If you need to supplement a little bit, I would do it. You LO needs to gain weight.
I breastfeed, pump and supplement with formula at 6 weeks. My DD has no problem with latching onto breast or bottle. But she was good from the get go. I can't exclusively breastfeed b/c I plan to go back to work sometime around 4 months. But honestly, I don't want to EBF anyway. I need to be happy as well. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty or like a failure. Just make sure your baby is fed.
you've gotten so much great advice... i hope you're feeling a bit better about it already. Breastfeeding is the most frustrating thing in the world sometimes!!! Just keep trying and take it one feeding at a time. I was ready to quit at the beginning, but I kept going for "just one more feeding." It's now been over 2 months! At this point, he's nursing great- my only issue is with pumping to try to build a stash. Just set small goals and keep going. Just don't beat yourself up about it. You're both new to this whole thing.
my nurse had told me that sometimes babies will do well with latching, but when the milk comes in (bc of the new fullness of your breast) they start having troubles. she suggested if that happened, to express some milk in the shower and to try different positions. If you have tried that, dont be afraid to call LC or your doctor for help. thats what they are there for!!! you are not a failure! so dont think that, BF is harder (a lot harder than i had anticipated) but dont give up!!!!
Take a breath, you are doing a great job. I also became extremely engorged and I was only able to pump about 1-2 ml. My LC showed me how to hand express and it made all the difference in the world. I hand expressed for a full day and then was able to pump again. (I just expressed into the the pump as if I were actually pumping, it is easiest that way.) If you are too engorged, the pump does not have the means loosen the milk. It takes a while, but the relief is worth it. You probably have more milk in there than you realize. My LC said not to use hot packs at this point because it can make the edema worse.
Feed your baby however you have to. Try to hand express and give that by syringe, bottle, however you want. If you still aren't getting much milk, then give her formula. Your baby has to eat. Like PP said, it doesn't matter what she eats. I gave my daughter bottles of EBM for a few weeks to decrease my engorgement and help her gain weight (she lost almost a pound after delivery). She breastfeeds fine now.
PM me if you have any questions. You are a great momma!
TTC #2 since 1/14
Miscarriage d/t blighted ovum 8/14
i just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the posts and advice! i'm pumping now and bottle feeding while the engorgement is still so bad. i'm nervous she won't want me after the bottle though. i try still to get her to latch after i pump but she's still not taking it. like you all said though...she's being fed and by my milk, so that is making me feel a lot better. hoping we can actually feed from the breast though soon. thank you again!!!
Don't stress too much about her not wanting the breast after a bottle. My LO was on EBM from a bottle for most of her first five weeks. At 5.5 weeks she finally took to the breast and is doing pretty good now at 7 weeks (she is just pokey).
I used BreastFlow Bottles. I am not sure if they helped but I like them. They claim to be most like an actual nipple.
Keep your head up. I know it is hard but a fed baby is a happy baby.