Guess I get to do this all again. (long)

Lilena · June 2011

So.. it turns out that camilla BC i was on.. Doesn't work so well when you decrease pumping. I knew this.. I K N E W this but I guess I just forgot, and was careless.

I stopped completly pumping a week ago, the week before that I was down to 2 pumping sessions a day. I had ALOT of drama with quitting my job,(which was last april 20th- may 13th, nonstop drama which finally made me just quit without a two weeks notice) baby is teething so my supply tanked. I was still pumping like 6-8 times a day and bearly making enough for 1 bottle of milk so I just figured it was time to give it up. I was using so much time of my day up for practically nothing to show for it.

I am alot happier now that he's on formula, lord I have so much time now, plus with the fact I quit my job (which is another drama story in itself) I just have been feeling great finally, after months of stress and frustration. I mean the past 2 weeks I've just had 1 thing to deal with, teething son (he is actually cutting a tooth already)

I thought this was going to be smooth sailing for a while until this morning..

I got a BFP this morning. I sobbed. My baby is barely 4 months and I am going to do this all over again? I am afraid to tell a soul do to people KNOWING it was an accident. Plus I don't want the whole "you know you can take care of this easily" convos with people. As that is just something I WILL NOT DO.

I spent most of the day on the phone setting up appointments, and talking with my work to get on cobra. I was going to give up insurance all together but there's no way we can afford a baby out of pocket, and my hubby's insurance at his job isn't the greatest as he works for a small company. Thank god I found out so soon so I still can even get on cobra.

Just really need to get it all out ladies, thanks for listening. *deep breath*

buckeyebrat · June 2011

Whoa. Indifferent I'm scared for you...

Seriously, you CAN do it. It may be difficult, but just look at your little one now and try and think of all of the positives coming out of this.

Congrats! Party!!!

daniellepanda · June 2011

Im sorry you are so stressed, but I do want to say congratulations even if this wasn't your plan. Have you thought about applying for medicaid insurance? I know once you are 6+ months you can qualify if you don't have insurance and make under a certain bracket. I know that it isnt ideal and nobody wants to go on assisted insurance but if you are stressed about the cost of insurance/cobra it may be looking into. I know the cost of cobra for me for the one month I needed it though work since I took 16 weeks maternity leave is $1,200 to cover one month Surprise

I can't imagine having to pay that more then once.

TiffanyTheMom · June 2011

I'm so sorry. That's how I felt when I got pg with my 1st daughter- I found out I was KU when he was 9 months on the dot. I was devastated, and I cried in the bathroom before sharing the results with my DH... who turned out to be excited.

I won't lie, it was hard until she could sit up. And the funniest thing happened... they started becoming best friends. No one to this day can make my 1st DD laugh the way my son can.

Go ahead and cry, but in a month or maybe 5 you'll be in love with your new little life.

JamieSF · June 2011

I can imagine how you are feeling. I am very scared about the prospect of another LO after theae past few months. One thing I have heard about having two close in age is that "the tunnel is darker, but shorter." you get all ofthe crazy newborn and toddler days over with more quickly. Good luck! Also, I have heard that the2 under 2 board is a great resource for advice and support.

AliKay+ · June 2011

I'm sorry you are so stressed out, hopefully soon you can adjust to you new news and feel a little bit more hopeful about the future with 2 little ones.

My sister and I were born very close together and my mom said it was almost nice because we had a built-in playmate and we kept each other occupied for hours while my mom did her thing around the house.

Keep your chin up, and congrats on your 'accidental' blessing!

Firedancer1013 · June 2011

Congrats!! I know it sounds scary and I've only have DS so I don't know how it feels but I feel like once you get over the fear part of it, it will all be okay. I realize right now is still a really hard stage with our LO's, but as Tiffany said once they get to sitting up on their own it is a whole new ball game. Honestly, our 7 month old nephew was just here to visit and he was sitting up, crawling, entertaining himself with toys, etc, while our DS still needed almost constant attention. It was crazy to see what the difference of a few months can make. So, yes there are going to be challenges you face and yea your first LO will still need a lot, but it isn't going to be like your LO is now x2 likely, and heck people with multiples do it all the time and they survive too. I guess what I'm saying is it's scary but you are gonna be fine and we are all here to give you verbal support when you need it!!!

christyp80 · June 2011

Oh honey, I'm actually EXCITED for you!! It may not be planned, but your family is creating itself exactly as it was supposed to be put together. Your new little one is going to be such a blessing to you all. Cry, laugh, freak out, marvel at the unpredictability of life, and sob at how you can't control it, and be excited because that's part of the fun. And know that you can do this!

Wufroggy79 · June 2011

I hope that everything will turn out for the best. Just hang in there!

Shanin8 · June 2011

I'm excited for you too!! I think it will be so neat to have them close in age. My brother and are a year apart and we loved telling people that we were twins when we were growing up! To this day we are still very close. I was tempted to TRY for another one so soon, but decided to wait

GoMommy · June 2011

Hang in there momma! You can def do this! and Congrats!

GracieMaeLovey · June 2011

christyp80:
Oh honey, I'm actually EXCITED for you!! It may not be planned, but your family is creating itself exactly as it was supposed to be put together. Your new little one is going to be such a blessing to you all. Cry, laugh, freak out, marvel at the unpredictability of life, and sob at how you can't control it, and be excited because that's part of the fun. And know that you can do this!

I like this. You can do it, keep your chin up!

hjohn · June 2011

Oh goodness, that would be a shock! I'm sorry you're stressed about it (I would be too) but congratulations! I'm sure it's going to turn out to be a wonderful thing for your family. You can do it! My sister has had 2 under 2 twice now and she's still living! She even say it gets easier after the first because you feel like you know what you're doing and are less stressed. GOOD LUCK!

theprincessPAT · June 2011

I feel almost *exactly* the same way. And I've an a whole additional week to process it all. I'm getting to the more excited than freaked out stage, but it is difficult. I also would never "take care of things" because I can't do that to myself.

I know it will be difficult and I don't know quite how we'll make ends meet, but we will and things will work out. If you need someone to talk who's in the same place I'm here.

MiniMadness · June 2011

Wow. I know you must be feeling so overwhelmed. Just know we are all here for you when you need to vent! And don't let anyone get you down with their unwelcome advice. You can do this!...it will be hard, but you can do it. You will look back one day and say...it was the best accident that ever happened.

Lilena · June 2011

Thanks everyone

After having a day to process everything hubby has been super sweet and we talked alot about our situation. Honestly having the baby isn't REALLY a big deal, it's the money involved in it. I JUST quit my job and we had to tighten the budget up a bit to accommodate me being a SAHM. I gave up insurance and was just going to pay out of pocket for when I had to go (which Is rare as I rarely get sick)

But now since we found out so soon I was able to still get on cobra but it's going to cost 480 bucks a month. that's def a bill we were not counting on!

But I am looking at all the positives, Alex will have a playmate, maybe we will get the little girl we are hoping for. I don't have to worrie about getting skinny now LOLOL And the funniest thing is I JUST started cleaning the cat box again, I told hubby that he has his old fav chore back. He laughed and said "ill never get to stop cleaning up that damn poop" =D

Mrs.HMommy · June 2011

Awwww it sucks to say I'm sorry....but I am sorry that your stressed. I would feel the same exact way. I got my IUD about a month and a half ago and the day they put it in (I was at the tail end of my first period since delivery), and DH and I had sex that night. WELL after the fact like a dum dum I decided to "check" it so it speak and I could've sworn I could feel the device. Made me nervous, but the days passed, I had an OB follow up and he said it was in place. Well when it came I'm for my period this month it was super super late. I almost had a damn anxiety attack everyday thinking omg I'm pregnant again. I know we'd make it work, but I would feel exactly like you are right now.

Congratulations! Keep taking those deep breaths

twirlyjack73 · June 2011

That's what they call 'Irish Twins'! Sounds funny anyway it makes me smile. Hey just think at least you don't have to pay for in-vitro!! I'm jealous!

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Guess I get to do this all again. (long)

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