"Flame Free" posts

TobleroneBar · June 2011

They never are flame free. There is always someone who develops a case of bunched up panties. IMO, those posts should be rightfully called "the Judging Post".

Personally, I catch myself side eyeing the offended rather then the offender.

TobleroneBar · June 2011

Also, FFFC posts are great to get in that weekly dose of "I judge you" on multiple levels because there are so many posts to judge on.

I'm judging myself on this post right now.

TBLilyRose · June 2011

FFFC could also mean FlameFULL Friday Confession.

TobleroneBar · June 2011

HA! I'll remember that next post I see.

future-weddedbliss · June 2011

Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.

Flame away

Molluskwrangler · June 2011

future-weddedbliss:
Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.

Flame away

Molls had colic and still has gut issues. Some nights are better than others. That and my Pedi said it's not unusual for babies that only get BM to not sleep through the night before 6 months.

future-weddedbliss · June 2011

I agree that colic babies are an exception. I have no idea what it is like to soothe a baby with colic, so absolutely no judgment here.

TobleroneBar · June 2011

Well, according to this Gal name VAL on the bump, you shouldn't even let your baby cry for more then 15 seconds otherwise it will do emotional damage to your LO...I'll see if I can find that post....

future-weddedbliss · June 2011

Well then my LO is screwed because I've allowed her to cry/fuss for up to five minutes since she was about two months old.

However, she naps and sleeps at night like a champ, so at least she is rested and happy.

Molluskwrangler · June 2011

future-weddedbliss:
I agree that colic babies are an exception. I have no idea what it is like to soothe a baby with colic, so absolutely no judgment here.

Her colic is pretty much gone now and we have done CIO/fuss it out and it's worked great for naps and going down at night. Staying asleep is a challenge. We are also transitioning over to formula and some nights she has a tummy ache others she doesn't. I usually give her a few minutes before going in but I can tell by her cry if she'll get herself back down or not.

The other night she took a huge poop in the middle of the night, it woke me up over the monitor. Then silence and a huge scream from her.

Spin313 · June 2011

future-weddedbliss:
Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.

Flame away

Ha! My FFed DS didn't STTN until after 9 months. He was always a great napper, but sucked at nighttime sleep. It had nothing to do with me not allowing him to self-soothe.

Molluskwrangler · June 2011

DeadOktober:
Well, according to this Gal name VAL on the bump, you shouldn't even let your baby cry for more then 15 seconds otherwise it will do emotional damage to your LO...I'll see if I can find that post....

Molls is damaged then she cried for 8-10 hours at a time when she had colic.

OliveBaby · June 2011

future-weddedbliss:

Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.

Flame away

::dies laughing::

Yeah. Okay.

future-weddedbliss · June 2011

I do not go in LO's room at night unless she is crying consistently. If she cries for a second and then stops or is just making noise, I do not go to her. Many times, she eventually goes back to sleep.

I agree that CIO can be a hard method and shouldn't be used very early on. However, I also think that many moms respond too quickly to every sound and that creates very bad habits that are hard to break.

TBLilyRose · June 2011

future-weddedbliss:
Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.

Flame away

I think you're right. Unfortunately, DS is still in our room for awhile longer so listening to him scream in my ear at 3 a.m. is less than ideal. I know he's not always hungry but he doesn't take a Paci and sometimes just wants some Mama Comfort especially now when he's teething and not feeling well.

I know I can let him CIO, I just don't have the patience for it in the middle of the night yet. lol

MomlovesEloise · June 2011

future-weddedbliss:
I do not go in LO's room at night unless she is crying consistently. If she cries for a second and then stops or is just making noise, I do not go to her. Many times, she eventually goes back to sleep.
I agree that CIO can be a hard method and shouldn't be used very early on. However, I also think that many moms respond too quickly to every sound and that creates very bad habits that are hard to break.

Ok, I agree with this statement. I was having a hard time with the not feeding your baby more than once a night thing.

Cause there is a big difference between DD's "I just woke up and I'm fussing" whine, and "get your arse out of bed and feed me" whine. And when she's hungry, I'll feed her as many times a night as she needs.

JJsMom211 · June 2011

MomlovesEloise:
future-weddedbliss:

I do not go in LO's room at night unless she is crying consistently. If she cries for a second and then stops or is just making noise, I do not go to her. Many times, she eventually goes back to sleep.

I agree that CIO can be a hard method and shouldn't be used very early on. However, I also think that many moms respond too quickly to every sound and that creates very bad habits that are hard to break.

Ok, I agree with this statement. I was having a hard time with the not feeding your baby more than once a night thing.

Cause there is a big difference between DD's "I just woke up and I'm fussing" whine, and "get your arse out of bed and feed me" whine. And when she's hungry, I'll feed her as many times a night as she needs.

I agree. J is not 5 months yet, but the kid loves to eat and I don't see that changing anytime soon. My husband woke up to eat, at least one night a week, until he was 2. He still gets up in the middle of the night and fixes himself a peanut butter sandwich sometimes. Some babies just need to eat more than others.

Molluskwrangler · June 2011

JJsMom211:
MomlovesEloise:
future-weddedbliss:

I do not go in LO's room at night unless she is crying consistently. If she cries for a second and then stops or is just making noise, I do not go to her. Many times, she eventually goes back to sleep.

I agree that CIO can be a hard method and shouldn't be used very early on. However, I also think that many moms respond too quickly to every sound and that creates very bad habits that are hard to break.

Ok, I agree with this statement. I was having a hard time with the not feeding your baby more than once a night thing.

Cause there is a big difference between DD's "I just woke up and I'm fussing" whine, and "get your arse out of bed and feed me" whine. And when she's hungry, I'll feed her as many times a night as she needs.

I agree. J is not 5 months yet, but the kid loves to eat and I don't see that changing anytime soon. My husband woke up to eat, at least one night a week, until he was 2. He still gets up in the middle of the night and fixes himself a peanut butter sandwich sometimes. Some babies just need to eat more than others.

Most nights Molly eats at least once. I tried to get her to take more at that last feeding but she won't.

hjohn · June 2011

LovingBaz:
DeadOktober:
Well, according to this Gal name VAL on the bump, you shouldn't even let your baby cry for more then 15 seconds otherwise it will do emotional damage to your LO...I'll see if I can find that post....
Molls is damaged then she cried for 8-10 hours at a time when she had colic.

I CANNOT imagine going through that!

Molluskwrangler · June 2011

hjohn:
LovingBaz:
DeadOktober:
Well, according to this Gal name VAL on the bump, you shouldn't even let your baby cry for more then 15 seconds otherwise it will do emotional damage to your LO...I'll see if I can find that post....
Molls is damaged then she cried for 8-10 hours at a time when she had colic.
I CANNOT imagine going through that!

Apparently that's not even bad, I talked to some women on here who had 16 hours fits like that.

She would usually start around 7 at night and go 'til morning, taking mini naps and eating. I could wear her and dance and sometimes it would put her out for 30 mins. It sucked and I am so glad we got through it in one piece, there was a time there I wasn't sure I could do it. 3 weeks -11weeks.

MomlovesEloise · June 2011

LovingBaz:
JJsMom211:
MomlovesEloise:
future-weddedbliss:

I do not go in LO's room at night unless she is crying consistently. If she cries for a second and then stops or is just making noise, I do not go to her. Many times, she eventually goes back to sleep.
I agree that CIO can be a hard method and shouldn't be used very early on. However, I also think that many moms respond too quickly to every sound and that creates very bad habits that are hard to break.
Ok, I agree with this statement. I was having a hard time with the not feeding your baby more than once a night thing.
Cause there is a big difference between DD's "I just woke up and I'm fussing" whine, and "get your arse out of bed and feed me" whine. And when she's hungry, I'll feed her as many times a night as she needs.
I agree. J is not 5 months yet, but the kid loves to eat and I don't see that changing anytime soon. My husband woke up to eat, at least one night a week, until he was 2. He still gets up in the middle of the night and fixes himself a peanut butter sandwich sometimes. Some babies just need to eat more than others.
Most nights Molly eats at least once. I tried to get her to take more at that last feeding but she won't.

Louie's the same way. I've tried cluster feeding before bed, a bottle, a little formula, letting her fuss, pretty much everything. She's just a hungry girl!

Molluskwrangler · June 2011

Yeah, we've tried it all, all formula before bed, dream feeding, trying to give her more nothing works, she's just a hungry girl.

LilCMom · June 2011

TBLilyRose:
future-weddedbliss:

Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.

Flame away

I think you're right. Unfortunately, DS is still in our room for awhile longer so listening to him scream in my ear at 3 a.m. is less than ideal. I know he's not always hungry but he doesn't take a Paci and sometimes just wants some Mama Comfort especially now when he's teething and not feeling well.

I know I can let him CIO, I just don't have the patience for it in the middle of the night yet. lol

We are in this same position. We live with my parents for a few more weeks until we close on our new house. I won't do CIO when I am sleeping 10 feet away from him. Therefore I will end up getting up every few hours to feed him until we are in our new place.

erin_857 · June 2011

DS still wakes up usually twice a night to feed. Last night we got lucky and it was just once, but I don't mind getting up to feed him. He sucks that bottle down like there's no tomorrow so I know he's really hungry. He's been doing this for months and I don't see it ending any time soon.

Jennis22 · June 2011

future-weddedbliss:
Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.
Flame away

And I judge you for judging moms who don't want to go with CIO. Why does it even matter to you?

Sonadora · June 2011

Jennis22:
future-weddedbliss:
Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.
Flame away
And I judge you for judging moms who don't want to go with CIO. Why does it even matter to you?

This. Even if I tried CIO with B she would scream and scream and scream until she probably got sick. She doesn't calm down by fussing....she gets more amped up.

Not to mention, my kid has reflux and is actually in pain many times when she screams at night.

Must be nice to be in a world where CIO works and your kid magically STTN. I'd give my left arm for B to STTN.

future-weddedbliss · June 2011

Jennis22:
future-weddedbliss:

Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.

Flame away

And I judge you for judging moms who don't want to go with CIO. Why does it even matter to you?

I actually didn't say anything about CIO. I just find it interesting that mothers on TB are always wondering why they can't ever put their babies down. Maybe if they stopped immediately responding tot every single cry/fuss/sound that their baby makes, their babies would learn to self-soothe, and then they would be able to put them down.

AggieBeth06 · June 2011

future-weddedbliss:
Jennis22:
future-weddedbliss:

Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.

Flame away

And I judge you for judging moms who don't want to go with CIO. Why does it even matter to you?

I actually didn't say anything about CIO. I just find it interesting that mothers on TB are always wondering why they can't ever put their babies down. Maybe if they stopped immediately responding tot every single cry/fuss/sound that their baby makes, their babies would learn to self-soothe, and then they would be able to put them down.

For us, we did kangaroo care early on as DS was a preemie. It helps with development and weight gain. Now he is a little monster, but every week is becoming more and more independent.

A little fussing is one thing, but to think that they should be left to fuss or cry on their own during the first 3 months is cold.

Even babies have personalities, and the road to independence is much more gradual for some!

hjohn · June 2011

LovingBaz:
hjohn:
LovingBaz:
DeadOktober:
Well, according to this Gal name VAL on the bump, you shouldn't even let your baby cry for more then 15 seconds otherwise it will do emotional damage to your LO...I'll see if I can find that post....
Molls is damaged then she cried for 8-10 hours at a time when she had colic.
I CANNOT imagine going through that!
Apparently that's not even bad, I talked to some women on here who had 16 hours fits like that.
She would usually start around 7 at night and go 'til morning, taking mini naps and eating. I could wear her and dance and sometimes it would put her out for 30 mins. It sucked and I am so glad we got through it in one piece, there was a time there I wasn't sure I could do it. 3 weeks -11weeks.

You and your SO/DH deserve a medal! And some liqour!

hjohn · June 2011

LovingBaz:
hjohn:
LovingBaz:
DeadOktober:
Well, according to this Gal name VAL on the bump, you shouldn't even let your baby cry for more then 15 seconds otherwise it will do emotional damage to your LO...I'll see if I can find that post....
Molls is damaged then she cried for 8-10 hours at a time when she had colic.
I CANNOT imagine going through that!
Apparently that's not even bad, I talked to some women on here who had 16 hours fits like that.
She would usually start around 7 at night and go 'til morning, taking mini naps and eating. I could wear her and dance and sometimes it would put her out for 30 mins. It sucked and I am so glad we got through it in one piece, there was a time there I wasn't sure I could do it. 3 weeks -11weeks.

You and your SO/DH deserve a medal! And some liqour!

kapereasd · June 2011

future-weddedbliss:
Jennis22:
future-weddedbliss:

Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.

Flame away

And I judge you for judging moms who don't want to go with CIO. Why does it even matter to you?

I actually didn't say anything about CIO. I just find it interesting that mothers on TB are always wondering why they can't ever put their babies down. Maybe if they stopped immediately responding tot every single cry/fuss/sound that their baby makes, their babies would learn to self-soothe, and then they would be able to put them down.

Whoa whoa whoa. I can't put Kelsy down and believe me, I often have to let her fuss/cry way more than I'd like to. I have to do things like feed her big brothers and go poo. I try to let her fuss, but very rarely does she only fuss for a minute - it always turns into cries of desperation. I have to let her sometimes, but I see no reason to if I don't have to. I don't pick her up at every little sound, but she does flip right out if I put her down. My fault? Maybe. But I'm grateful that she finds so much comfort in me, an d if holding her all day makes her happy, then I'm happy too. It doesn't have to be what works for you, bt it works for us and even though it can be tiring, I love it. These snuggles won't last forever.

future-weddedbliss · June 2011

I can totally respect that you want to snuggle with her. Every child/mother has different needs. It's just interesting to me when mothers who hold their babies all the time and/or immediately respond to every sound can't figure out why their babies aren't more independent. You can't have it both ways.

butterfly8199 · June 2011

MomlovesEloise:
future-weddedbliss:
I do not go in LO's room at night unless she is crying consistently. If she cries for a second and then stops or is just making noise, I do not go to her. Many times, she eventually goes back to sleep.
I agree that CIO can be a hard method and shouldn't be used very early on. However, I also think that many moms respond too quickly to every sound and that creates very bad habits that are hard to break.
Ok, I agree with this statement. I was having a hard time with the not feeding your baby more than once a night thing.
Cause there is a big difference between DD's "I just woke up and I'm fussing" whine, and "get your arse out of bed and feed me" whine. And when she's hungry, I'll feed her as many times a night as she needs.

Agree 100%. DD has always been a hungry girl. Sometimes she wont wake up at all and some nights she wakes up 2-3 times. She has a destinctive "Im wake and fussy" whine and the IM HUNGRY COME FEED ME NOW whine. I wont ever deny her food. Ifs shes hungry shes hungry and if that means I have to get up 3 times, than so be it.

Jennis22 · June 2011

future-weddedbliss:
Jennis22:
future-weddedbliss:

Here's a flameful confession. I secretly judge moms who have five month olds that still get up more than once a night to nurse. It makes me think that you seriously never allow your baby to cry for even a minute to allow him to learn to self-sooth and fall asleep on his own. I know there are some babies that are more high maintenance than most, but I'd venture to guess that the vast majority of babies should be able to sleep through the night by five months, or at the very least, should only wake up once.
Flame away
And I judge you for judging moms who don't want to go with CIO. Why does it even matter to you?
I actually didn't say anything about CIO. I just find it interesting that mothers on TB are always wondering why they can't ever put their babies down. Maybe if they stopped immediately responding tot every single cry/fuss/sound that their baby makes, their babies would learn to self-soothe, and then they would be able to put them down.

I wear DS in a wrap/sling a lot and I also respond every single time he fusses. And ::gasp:: he doesn't mind hanging out in his bouncy seat or swing and he only wakes up once per night. So, responding to your child has nothing to do with how well or how poorly they are able to self-soothe or sleep. It really just depends on the baby!

Plus, I don't mind waking up with him or holding him about 95% of the time.

"Remember you are not managing an inconvenience; you are raising a human being." - Kittie Frantz

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