I need some advice please

hooliface · June 2011

So we bought DD a dog for learning to potty train and eating well, etc. She has issues with weight gain and we are working really hard trying to get weight on her, etc. We take her to Mayo clinic for monitoring and working with them to avoid having to give her growth hormone injections, etc.

She was doing great so we got the dog. We had him for less then 24 hours and she peed on the floor 2 times and would not eat at all. I freaked out!!! It is so important that she eats and continues to gain weight. I just don't want to see her regress.

I called the place we got the dog and asked if we could return it, they agreed for all our money back. So, it was either take him back so we remain on target or keep him and hope things turned around. If they did not, we had the dog, no money back and DD falling off the growth pattern.

I took him back last night. DD has asked 2 times for him and that is about it. DH is really sad as he was loving him. I feel SOOOO guilty but I feel this was the best decision for our family now.

Please tell me I did the right thing?!?!?

LoveMyGirlz · June 2011

I would imagine it would take any dog at least a few days to adjust to a new family. I'm surprised the place you got him/her didn't give you info on what to expect. I'm a little confused though how getting a dog would help your DD eat and potty train. I must be missing something...

WillisReincarnated · June 2011

I think you did the right thing, for the dog. The dog is a living being that depends on you. Unless you are prepared to take care of the dog properly - love it, train it, potty train it (too!), etc., you have no business having a dog. It's not a simple reward, it's a lifetime commitment.

Next time, pick an inanimate object to reward your daughter. Maybe some stickers.

ALY1981 · June 2011

LoveMyGirlz:
I would imagine it would take any dog at least a few days to adjust to a new family. I'm surprised the place you got him/her didn't give you info on what to expect. I'm a little confused though how getting a dog would help your DD eat and potty train. I must be missing something...

this.

RoxBride · June 2011

You did the right thing in returning the dog.

Dogs are a HUGE committment, and need time to transition to a new home, and a lot of love and attention and patience, that you may not have right now.

It is normal for a potty trained child to have accidents, and I don't think that big of a deal. Certainly, you get a dog for getting potty trained and then have an accident and the dog goes away is a LOT for a child to absorb - too much. That's a LOT of stress.

I'd let it go, focus on perpetual rewards as needed for the eating, not a big one time reward. For potty training, just go easy on DD. Accidents happen. Heap on lots of praise for success, and not a living animal.

ladychicago · June 2011

I am a little confused.... I think you are saying that your DD has had troubles PT and eating in the past, and you decided to get a family dog as a reward for the progress she has recently shown? But when you got the dog, your DD peed on the floor and stopped eating (not the dog? Beceause lord knows puppies pee on the floor constantly at first). So you returned the dog because your DD showed signs of going backward? Is that right?

I think you did the right thing, because I am not sure bringing a puppy into the house was the best idea in the first place. A puppy is incredibly disruptive to any household (DH and I weren't sure we would survive when we got ours...we had never been so stressed out or anxious!), so if things with your DD are still delicate, something that big, stressful, and distracting seems like trouble. If you guys want to get a family dog, I would wait until DD is much more stable and has more "wiggle room" in case she needs a few days/weeks to adjust.

so I say don't feel guilty and don't beat yourself up. You did the right thing once you realized a puppy wasn't right for your family right now.

Mrs.Reem · June 2011

I think you did the right thing by taking it back. It's too much of a commitment right now. A dog is not an object that you can just buy and return like a toy each time something goes wrong. I It might be better to promise your daughter a toy or something that really can be taken away if that's what you're going to choose to do when there's a regression. That would be easier on all involved, no doubt.

ginger67 · June 2011

You definitely did the right thing. A dog is a living, breathing being and shouldn't be brought into a house as a "treat". You probably shouldn't get one until everyone in your house is ready to be patient and loving towards it. I hope your daughter continues to make progress.

MonkeysGirl05 · June 2011

It is good you took the dog back. It sounds to me like you should not have bought him in the first place. Dogs are a big commitment that require a lot of time, attention, and love. Perhaps a stuffed animal is a better reward in the future.

Good luck!

sommerrayne · June 2011

I think, since you placed the contingencies on the dog, it was the right thing to do but I would choose a less significant "thing" next time.

hooliface · June 2011

Thank you for the feedback. I do understand the time it takes,ect for having a dog. We did think that a dog would be a good fit now, but I was mistaken. I understand that DD will have accidents and I am totally OK with that. It was just the total overall that I could not digest.

I was just so concerned with her lack of eating that I did not want to see that happen as we have gone so far to getting to this point. It was a bad idea as I look at it now, and I am glad that we took him back. Thank you all for your feedback.

choco_lab · June 2011

You definitely did the right thing bringing the dog back. Your DD is too little to appreciate a dog (I'm sure she won't remember the 24 hrs that the dog was with you). I agree with pp that focusing on other things like toys or stickers is a much better idea. The stress of new dog in the house is going to make the process of potty training and/or eating issues a lot worse. There will be other dogs looking for a home down the road.. just not now.

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