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Washington Babies
Cooper Flynn is 3 years old and growing! May 10,2009
Miscarriage April 2008
Ectopic pregnancy August 2011
Do you get along with your IL's?
Mine are relatively nice people but they are strange! They never call us, we have to call them. They never visit us, we have to visit them. They complain that they are missing out on watching Coop grow up but it was them who moved 4 hrs drive away 18 months ago!
It was DH's birthday May15 and they called him around the 20th to wish him a Happy birthday. DH didnt take the call & has been 'screening' their calls since as he is over them not caring basically! Now I am dreading it when they call me on my birthday which is coming up next week as they obviously know that he is annoyed with them. I keep telling him to call them and get over it but he won't. Argh men.... and I thought it was women who were the ones that holded grudges!
Cooper Flynn is 3 years old and growing! May 10,2009
Miscarriage April 2008
Ectopic pregnancy August 2011This discussion has been closed.
Re: Do you get along with your IL's?
Mine are similar to yours, Nicole, but we moved to within 20-30 minutes of them and they still rarely visit us. We have to bring him over every week, we have to call them, and we have to make the time! It's so frustrating. I love them, but they bug the crap out of me because it seems like they just can't be bothered.
My parents, on the other hand, complain about not getting enough time with Max. We see them once a week, alternating locations, and my mom wants more time. She comes and visits often and loves watching Max and his cousin grow. I find it odd that the other set of parents don't feel the same way.
The only Easter Bunny I can get behind.
Maxwell Joseph 4/09 Lucy Violet 10/12
With my MIL? Hell to the no.
My FIL, I really like. He's a sweet guy. My MIL never calls me, she calls DH, usually when she wants him to do something for her. We have to go to her, call her... She doesn't do a dang thing to make an effort to come here. She's a beast. ... (can you tell I really don't like her?) :-)
My parents would visit weekly if they lived closer. I know my mom wishes that she could visit more often or that she could afford to pay for us to drive up once a month.
I'm similar to KNemo in that I find it strange that my parents would come to us too, if they could, but MIL won't make that effort. She lives two hours away! UGH!
It honestly depends on who we are talking about! DH has a very large and um... complicated family.
His bio parents are divorced. I do not really know his dad too well, other than staying at their house for a week while my car was in the shop. He is an alcoholic, and a VERY angry and aggressive person when he is drunk. DH does not talk to him much, so that connection is limited.
His mom is a great woman, but can drive me up the wall some times! Other than having her pretty much demand to be in the delivery room, her little quirks just make me shake my head. With the whole delivery room thing, she thinks she is entitled to "hold a leg". No way sister! She is also annoyed that I instantly veto'd my seven year old BIL being in the room to "watch" the baby being born. He is emotionally NOT ready for that, nor do I want him seeing my lady-bits! MIL says she will "guilt trip me" until she is allowed to participate in the birth. Go ahead, I am not budging!
She does mean well on most things, and I know she is excited that she is getting another grand-baby, but I am somewhat concerned for when Charlotte does get here! She can be pushy. She thinks I am too young, and will not know how to parent my child. I have been around kids for IDK how long, I am deff not clueless. Yes, I will need advice, but for the most part, I think I will be okay!
I just really hope that she does not pull what she did last night again. We had BIL sleep over again, so we could have him at camp at 7am. (She has to be at work at 6:30) and we went over to her house quick to grab the forgotten tooth brush. She was like. "N! Here is the cinnamon roll I got you from ikea today. You can eat it before bed." N gets all excited. It was fricken 8pm! He is supposed to go to bed at 8:30, and you want to pump him full of sugar so he will be impossible to put to bed?
*Face Palm*
Okay... mine turned into a vent.
I would love to say yes. But to be honest no. I always give my SIL the benefit of the doubt and try to make an effort but to not get it in return. We had a tough year and got very little support from his family. FIL, MIL haven't seen T in about 3 months, and didn't even make an effort to see him before we moved to Spokane. When we lived in Mville they were only 30 minutes away and never came to our house. So basically they will only see T through photos unless they come here. I hate the way they treat H, I think they are selfish, spiteful people that only care about themselves.
In fact DH told me the conversation he had with his Dad recently about how his dad didn't know why he cared so much about team work or how others feel. That he doesn't know where he got those tools....WTF? Aren't parents suppose to teach their kids that?
Yup! Well, there are 2 sets. FIL and SMIL are cool, dont see them as often since they live about 30 min away and they work opposite hours as DH, but they are nice and always around if we need them. FIL joined FB recently and that has helped him feel more connected.
MIL and SFIL live 2 miles away. We go there for dinner about once a week and they watch Cam overnight at least once every other week. They just set her up with her own room at their house even. They can drive us batty once in a while but not on purpose. They adore being grandparents and it is awesome.
Get along with them? Yes. Trust them to watch my children? No. They are lovely people and wonderful grandparents, but they just don't understand child safety. They want to do things the way they were done in the good ol' days.
MIL & SFIL - sort of, I used to adore my MIL but in the last 2 years, she has literally lost her mind. My SFIL got into gambling really badly, stole & pawned our antique gun collection, and put them in a really bad financial situation (as you can only imagine). Since then, MIL has gone off the deep end. She was diagnosed with Parkinsons (which made perfect sense with her mental decline) and then found another doctor to "un diagnose" her. Meanwhile, she's mean, opinionated, and 99% deaf and too stubborn to get hearing aids. She she's hard to talk to and generally a B tch to be around. I've lost my patience with her and DH agrees that we don't need to be around them very often (hard to do when they live 15 min. away).
SIL - Hell no. She's in the dictionary under the C word. Short version of the story - she got in a fight with their dad 24 years ago. But 3 years ago, when he died, she was the first one to step up and put her hand out for money. There was no paperwork so we settled on a payout - $1k a month for 24 months. We ended up paying a good portion of that out of pocket (it was supposed to be paid out of the business left behind but business got REALLY slow with the economy). She was a royal pain in the butt to deal with when we asked for the last several payments to be spread out since DH wasn't drawing a paycheck and we had to pay her out of MY paycheck. She can rot in hell.
Jen - Mom to Jillian (10/2008) and Hayden (4/2010)
My Blog
This is so my MIL, with the exception that we were the ones who moved across the state, and I think she resents that. However, she's here in Seattle multiple times a year for work, and she always makes time to see her best friend who lives over here, but almost never comes to see us. We're always an afterthought. I personally like a lot of things about her and feel like we do get along okay when we see her, but I don't completely connect with her. We're going to be near Spokane this weekend, and she's known that for a while, but she decided to go out of town anyway. When DH called and talked to her yesterday, she complained again that she'll be missing our visit (whose fault is that?). Right now she's laid off and only has side jobs where she can make her own hours/work from home...so we thought she'd be pretty free. Then she said she'd be our way in two weekends, and when DH mentioned we'd love to see her and would work around my brother/SIL/nephew's visit to see her, she got all pissy and "didn't want to mess up our plans." Ugggggg!
I try to. They complain that they don't get to see Ray San enough, but they don't do anything to change that. We have to call them, we have to take him over to their house and it is only when it is convenient for them. I've invited them to do things with Ray San (Mariners games, zoo, aquarium, etc.) and they can never make it. When they are able to finally watch him (about 1 a month), they say things like "whenever you want to see us, just tell your mommy and daddy you want to come over." or "we hope you come back to visit us soon." Just random remarks like that. They also don't have their own car seat or stroller so we have to do all the transportation. It would be helpful if they could meet us halfway or even come to us sometimes.
Marcie
When DH and I were just dating his family (ie his sisters) found every excuse under the sun to biatch me out and basically try to get rid of me. But once we got engaged, and now married with a child, they're better. I've always pretty much got along with his mom and dad, so it's nice.