Really stupid and embarassing re: sleep

newsbaby · June 2011

How do I switch DS bedtime? He goes to bed at midnight and wakes up at 9:30 or so. Sometimes he STTN and sometimes not. He NEEDS to get up earlier for obvious reasons. He drinks 6 7 oz bottles a day and refuses solid food which I am speaking with the ped about next week. DD is a whole other story for another day, we are trying to get DS on a good track first. I realize they will be 6 months next week and I am setting them up to have bad sleep habits indefinitely if I don't fix this soon. I feel like I worked so hard to have a baby that I was consumed with IF and I never figured out what is the right thing to do with actual babies :-(

browneyedgrl4282 · June 2011

I would slowly start putting him down earlier. That is how i did it with my kids. I think i did half hour to hour push back each time!

AlissaCell701 · June 2011

How many naps a day are they taking? And could you change that last nap into bed time? Do you have a bed time routine that establishes it different then naps lets say? Midnight is/seems wayyy late.,,you must be exhausted?!

This is what we do with Jake really starting at 6Mnths

Wake 645AM

Breakfast 8AM

Nap/bottle 9AM (this nap can be anywhere between 1hr and 2+)

Lunch 12ish

2PM Nap again this is usually his long nap (2+ hrs)

5PM Dinner

530/6..Bath, jammies, play quietly, books, music, bottle bed.

We have been doing this bedtime routine since he was like 2 months. Cause DH was working nights and I was losing my mind. EVEN if it was for just a short nap when he was an infant I wanted him to understand that this was night time..different then his naps..

Also, I don't know how you feel about Ferber but I would just READ the book. It has so much info about sleep and what it means..how to change habbits..ect..even if you don't do CIO the book is so helpful..

ladychicago · June 2011

AlissaCell701:
How many naps a day are they taking? And could you change that last nap into bed time? Do you have a bed time routine that establishes it different then naps lets say? Midnight is/seems wayyy late.,,you must be exhausted?!

This is what we do with Jake really starting at 6Mnths

Wake 645AM

Breakfast 8AM

Nap/bottle 9AM (this nap can be anywhere between 1hr and 2+)

Lunch 12ish

2PM Nap again this is usually his long nap (2+ hrs)

5PM Dinner

530/6..Bath, jammies, play quietly, books, music, bottle bed.

We have been doing this bedtime routine since he was like 2 months. Cause DH was working nights and I was losing my mind. EVEN if it was for just a short nap when he was an infant I wanted him to understand that this was night time..different then his naps..

Also, I don't know how you feel about Ferber but I would just READ the book. It has so much info about sleep and what it means..how to change habbits..ect..even if you don't do CIO the book is so helpful..

Pretty much this exactly! With her in bed by 6:30/6:45. And this is still basically our schedule now. Depending on their nap schedules, I would either make the last nap bedtime or gradually move it up. An earlier bedtime will change your life! Good luck!

cjsbdl · June 2011

I highly recommend you pick up a copy of BOTH Ferber's book and Weissbluth's book. They will teach you so, so, so much about the sleep needs of babies and children and help you establish good sleep habits for them. Good luck!

newsbaby · June 2011

Thanks ladies. As you can see I dont have time to read a book. I am with them every waking moment except for my shower. I am pretty exhausted, I never have one second to myself. I realize we can gradually move up bedtime but for example, DS is eating right now and then his next bottle is at 11:20 or so. How can I put him in at 11 if he needs to eat once more before going in for the night? We do have a ritual somewhat at night. He also naps anywhere, not necessarily his crib or PNP. I guess I am raising monsters. :-(

ladychicago · June 2011

newsbaby:
Thanks ladies. As you can see I dont have time to read a book. I am with them every waking moment except for my shower. I am pretty exhausted, I never have one second to myself. I realize we can gradually move up bedtime but for example, DS is eating right now and then his next bottle is at 11:20 or so. How can I put him in at 11 if he needs to eat once more before going in for the night? We do have a ritual somewhat at night. He also naps anywhere, not necessarily his crib or PNP. I guess I am raising monsters. :-(

If he is eating now, this would become his last bottle before bed. If you move his bedtime up by 30 minutes, I would also move the bottle up by 30 minutes so it continues to be part of the routine. Eventually, the feedings would merge and you would drop one of them. If he at some point won't take the second bottle, I would offer, but then just proceed with the rest of the routine. And once the bedtime is moved up, if he continues to wake at 11:20 for that feeding, you have the choice of feeding him and putting him back to bed, sleep training, or trying to gradually reduce the amount he eats at that time until his tummy is no longer accustomed to eating then.

as for the naps, i would also try to make those mkre consistent, and get him napping in his crib. I am a huge believer that quality daytime sleep is vital to nighttime sleep, and visa versa.

There is hope and you do have options...but I know it is tough. Hang in there!

AlissaCell701 · June 2011

First of all..I think you need to start cutting out that last bottle..at 11PM. if they are healthy and gaining weight it's ok! .Ask your pedi of course..and You can gradually do it..so it's not like a shock to him..

The last bottle at 9PM should be his Bedtime bottle and then bed. If he wakes at 11pm..again do the gradual feed decrease 6 ounces one night, 5 ounces, 4 ect.. and start eliminating it subsitute it with a pacie or lovie ect..

Again you NEED to read one of these books..they know way more abt this then I do and can give you some much need support. Maybe your DH can take the babies for a few hours one day this weekend and you can read the books? It won't take very long..IF that still doesn't work and you don't think you could do CIO..I know there are sleep specialist that you could hier to help you..I would also start doing all NAps and bedtime in his crib..it might mean that you are trapped in the house for a bit, which is what I had to do..but it was important to me for him to know how to nap in his crib....not just the swing..

What does there schedule look like? Are DS and DD on the same? I would also post this on the Multiples board cause they might know more on how to get them on the same page..

cjsbdl · June 2011

You don't need to read the books cover to cover....it's easy to skim through and find the sections which apply to you/your baby. I promise it will be worth making time.

How many times a day are they eating right now and how often? At what time are they napping? Obviously midnight is waaaaaaaaaaaay too late a bedtime for a six-month old. I think you're going to find the experts will advocate drastic measures to get them on an appopriate schedule. It's not going to be painless, but I think you'll find it less painful than you anticipate, because by enforcing an earlier bedtime you will be doing what is natural for a baby their age and everything else will fall into place (naps/feedings/etc).

perry7285 · June 2011

calm down, mama. you're doing fine.

my LO also had a midnight bedtime when he was six months old. now at 8 1/2 months, he has a 7:45 bedtime. in our case we didn't have to push it, it just evolved naturally when he started getting more sunlight. when i started taking him in the stroller to classes every day (so he was outdoors in the stoller for probably at least an hour a day) his bedtime dropped from 12:30 to 9:30 over about three weeks, and then gradually dropped from 9:30 to 7:45 after that, without any intervention on our part.

if you haven't read ferber's book yet ("solving your child's sleep problems") i would really encourage you to do so. it is very comprehensive and discusses a wide range of sleep problems, and has a more moderate and compassionate approach than some other books (cough--weissbluth--cough).

good luck sweetie. there will be bumps in the road, but you will work it out!

Mouseygail · June 2011

Ditto everyone else... I would gradually move his bedtime up and work on a more regular nap routine. Sleep and feeding are tough issues and I'm sure it is only magnified when you have two very different little ones! You might want to just call a sleep specialist so that you could get the cliff notes and a personalized plan that fits your family! Hugs!!

Temp893722312503334 · June 2011

Just to offer a little more support, we are currently moving to an earlier bedtime as well. Ours used to be last bottle at 10PM but we are now having the last bottle at about 8:30. Next week, I'll move it to 8. I am moving it back about 20 minutes every 4 or so days. Some days, he'll wake up btw 4 and 5 AM for a bottle but then goes back down for another 2-3 hours. Some days he'll make it to 6 or 7. Its not consistent yet but I know that as he gets bigger and is able to eat more at each feeding, he'll slowly start to make it to 7 or so.

Remember, you'll still get enough food in him b/c even though he'll have one less bottle at night, he'll get up earlier and have one more in the AM so it will all even out. He'll also begin to eat more at each feeding and therefore need less feedings.

Good luck! Just take it one day at a time!! I was really hard on myself for awhile and thought I was ruining this child but then I sat back and saw how happy he was and relaxed a little.

kimberic · June 2011

AlissaCell701:
How many naps a day are they taking? And could you change that last nap into bed time? Do you have a bed time routine that establishes it different then naps lets say? Midnight is/seems wayyy late.,,you must be exhausted?!

This is what we do with Jake really starting at 6Mnths

Wake 645AM

Breakfast 8AM

Nap/bottle 9AM (this nap can be anywhere between 1hr and 2+)

Lunch 12ish

2PM Nap again this is usually his long nap (2+ hrs)

5PM Dinner

530/6..Bath, jammies, play quietly, books, music, bottle bed.

We have been doing this bedtime routine since he was like 2 months. Cause DH was working nights and I was losing my mind. EVEN if it was for just a short nap when he was an infant I wanted him to understand that this was night time..different then his naps..

Also, I don't know how you feel about Ferber but I would just READ the book. It has so much info about sleep and what it means..how to change habbits..ect..even if you don't do CIO the book is so helpful..

Our schedule is pretty similar to this as well and has been for quite a while. We just recently pushed dinner to 5:30 and bed time starts at 6:30 now that they are a bit older. I also try to make sure there are at least 3 hours of awake time before putting them down for a nap and make sure they are awake by 3:15 in the afternoons.

I also agree with moveing bedtime up 1/2 hour at a time until you get to the time you want.

Don't be so hard on yourself! Babies don't come with instructions, we are all trying to figure out whats best for our families. You'll get it figured out.

AlissaCell701 · June 2011

Know we have thrown a lot at you..you Are doing a great job just remember that! You might also want to page LVBlvd she has twins The same age and she had lots of good advice!

newsbaby · June 2011

Thank you so much ladies! The advice is much appreciated. DH is reading the thread too.

We are going to offer DS his last bottle in a few minutes and try to have him in by 11 tonight. I guess its a start.

DD is all over the place. Sometimes she STTN sometimes not. She is much smaller than DS (born @ 34w6d at 3.11, DS was 5.11) and has some feeding issues. We are trying to get DS on a good schedule first and we will worry about DD later. She needs lots of extra attention at this point. I know that might be shocking to some of you, but its just the way it is for us.

DS used to take at least one nap in his crib a day. Lately, he outright refuses. He will fall asleep in his boppy on the floor and I will pick him up and put him in his crib then he is wide awake and cranky until he finally falls asleep again. If I put him in his crib when he is drowsy, all of the sudden he is not tired anymore and he screams and screams.

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Really stupid and embarassing re: sleep

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