- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Food Allergy
the_jackpot
member
Let's talk feelings
the_jackpot
member
in Food Allergy
So my ds is 2 1/2 and we have been dealing with his allergies for about a year and a half. Some days I just feel so defeated. No I know it is not the worst thing in the world and he is a very healthy active boy. Sometimes I just feel like between the food and environmental allergies I am a hovering crazy person who can't relax at every day functions. How do you cope on the bad days? Do you guys get these blahs too?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Let's talk feelings
ALL.THE.TIME!!!!
I burst into tears last weekend when we were at my SIL's IL's BBQ and there were so many children around my sons age and they were held by grandparents constantly or just roaming around as they please.. grabbing whatever food they wished from who's ever plate they saw. My son was held by me or my DH the entire time. His grandparents were there but they don't get it. They want to hold him after having desert without washing their hands. So we just avoid them touching him. Then he has to be shadowed at ever damn move he makes. One of the oldest cousins wanted to chase him and they were having such a great time but my pregnant a$$ had to run right behind them to make sure he doesn't pick anything up and puts it in his mouth.
DH and i were the only ones that hardly mingled.
I know it will get easier once he understands his situation. Which i hear it's around 3 years of age. I cannot wait!!!!!!!!! I have a friend with a child with food allergies, she's 4 (or 3..don't know) and he always goes to his mom "can i have this?" -never will put anything in his mouth with out asking her. i hope my son does the same and doesn't rebel.
Also, recently we had a bbq at our house which was completely safe for my son. It didn't have too many sides or desert, but no one seemed to care. Everyone ate and everyone had a coconut ice cream cone at the end. it was the sweetest thing to see my son run around with other kids holding ice cream cones and not worrying if one touches my son. it was the most relaxed bbq in about 2 years! so perhaps you can host something.. No one was allowed to bring food, only alcohol
Since your child is 2.5 y/o, it will hopefully get easier for you sooner rather than later
I definitely get the blahs. I've cried in the grocery store (even happy tears when I found the GF Betty Crocker mixes). I cried at a wedding when I realized DDs wouldn't be able to have a normal cake. At one point I even thought about finding a therapist (which is still something I'm considering but my dear friend is a therapist so I usually call her instead!).
I'm trying to focus on the positive. But realize that bad days are going to happen and that's okay.
yep. and our new baby has eczema now too. Our friends and family keep assuring me that lots of babies just have eczema...but that was our older son's first sign and we waited 10 months for his "just eczema" to go away before we got his food allergies diagnosed. B has an appointment to see the allergist with his older brother in october and I started an elimination diet yesterday. I cried over the weekend when I first really started to notice the rash spreading and realized it wasn't baby acne. Defeated is the perfect word.
And while I fully realize that my kiddos can live a full and rich life with food allergies- I just hate that my kid(s) is different. And while our family is super supportive and does everything they can to keep him included- it's just not the same. I actually got jealous at a birthday party this weekend when I watched my cousin feed her one year old macaroni straight off of her plate with no worries at all. And I about cried when I saw the giant awesome 2 tiered birthday cake that my kid couldn't have. J could have cared less but I was crushed that he won't have a cake like that for his birthday. There are definately bad days.
This makes me so glad! We're doing an allergy safe birthday party for J this summer and B's baptism party will be the same way. I can't wait to relax and have fun at a party!
definitely! especially when he is being super picky about what he will eat. I mean, take out all of the things he's allergic too as well as the foods he is currently turning his nose up at and I feel like my child lives on oatmeal and banana muffins.
It's tough when we go to birthday parties and such as well. Sometimes people don't even think before offering a child a "taste" of something. My FIL and I have had two severe arguments over this. I kind of flip when your desire to offer my LO a "taste" of something could kill him. Someone once made a comment that my diaper bag was the biggest one she has ever seen - my knee jerk reaction was to get snippy and say, "well, when you have to bring ALL of your kids food, everywhere you tend to pack a lot."
In the end though, I know it's what's best for him. He is a much happier baby not covered in eczema and with blood in his diapers.
I seem to go through stages. When DS#3 was first diagnosed (at 7months) it seemed so overwhelming. Once I got a food routine down Chrismas came around and I was making sugar cookies with the older boys. I cried when I realized he couldn't help me make those cookies when he was older - let alone eat them - and it's the recipe my family has used for years. My brother copied it off the black board in first grade and we've been using it ever since...
But then I found Food Allergy Mama and Divvies and discovered that some other fantastic moms have figured out some recipes that are great! Then last year I modified our family corn bread stuffing recipe for Thanksgiving and it tasted exactly the same - I cried from happiness that time!
Vacations are another stressor for me. In April we drove from Virginia to Texas to avoid flying. Too many peanuts on flights, what if the flight is delayed, etc so driving seemed easier. I had restaurants planned out in advance and back up meals with us just in case. I had to research food policies at Sea World and other places we wanted to take the boys. We stayed in hotels with kitchens so I could cook and pack up meals for the next leg of the trip. It actually went really well but the amount of planning that went in to it was exhausting. It would be nice to pick up and go but that's just not part of our life.
I too realize it could be much worse. But when I went to the FAAN conference in April a psychiatrist was there who said studies have been done on the stress that food allergies put on families versus the stress that cancer puts on a family. They actually found that food allergic families are more stressed and it is attributed to the lack of understanding, empathy and help offered. That was an eye opener. When someone hears about a cancer diagnoses the automatic response is sympathy. Food allergy diagnoses? Not even close.
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
Wow, thanks for sharing your journey. I struggle with the amount of work that goes into keeping him safe. THere are places that we have to fly and I get so worked up. I hope that as more people are learning about food allergies there will be greater understanding which would make my life much easier.