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North Carolina Babies
I need some perspective from Moms of 2+
I keep thinking that life will not be like it was when we first brought R home from the hospital. It was like life stopped for a little while and EVERYthing revolved around her. I know that certain parts of life have to be put on hold when there's a NB around and they require around the clock care.
BUT.....here's my question. Doesn't life still have to go on for the older child(ren)?
Did you find yourself getting out of the house more often than b/f (with the first baby) even though you have a NB?
Do you feel more confident or less stressed than you did with your first baby?
What advice do you have for those (like me) about to have a NB around? My DD is 2.
Any other insights or perspectives of having 2+ that's different than when your only child was a NB?
TIA.
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Re: I need some perspective from Moms of 2+
I can only answer this partly since it's just been 7 days and I've had help. I'm a little paranoid about when I have to be alone, but so far things have been going really well. Jocelyn is not too interested in her brother, and doesn't like it when he cries, but she LOVES helping. I read that you need to make them your little helper. She loves to get his bottle, get the diaper, wipes etc.
Right now DH is in charge of entertaining her and I take care of the baby. I still play with her during the day, and bring her for naps/bath/bedtime. She seems ok with that, all though I know when he goes back to work she will be sad.
As for taking care of #2 is is BY FAR easier and less stressful than having your first child. I remember sitting at my table when Jocelyn came home thinking, what the heck did I sign up for. Now it is just like baby Cam is part of the family, it is not as stressful at all, and I am not as nervous/anxious. I pretty much laid in bed the first 3 weeks with Jocelyn and this time we are not doing that. I don't have plans to get out too much this summer, just because of the heat, we took Cam out in the stroller/car seat and he was bright red and sweating, so that made me nervous. I have Jocelyn signed up for camp, and also a music class later in the summer. I keep telling myself it will all work out, because what other choice do I have!
we are definitely out and about much more with DS2 and earlier than we were with DS1. DH has done a lot with DS1--lots of day trips places and other "adventures" to keep him entertained and also out of the house so I can focus on nursing and it helps things be quieter at home for naps.
Now that DS2 is a bit older, we're going out all together more but DH still does stuff with DS1 on their own.
Although there is more stress (2 kids, not just 1 anymore) I am much more relaxed about things. I think both because DS2 wasn't a preemie and b/c I've done it all before. Also because I'm not EPing and this seems way easier than it was with DS1 even though there's 2 kids in the picture.
Life is still really crazy but we're managing.
It is definitely a whole different world having two, but you can handle it and it will go wonderfully
Did you find yourself getting out of the house more often than b/f (with the first baby) even though you have a NB? Yes, we took him out much earlier than my DD. I think we went out to eat when he was a week old? I took him to the beach when he was 5 weeks old and again when he was 7 weeks old. But he was a much easier baby than my DD, she cried all the time so we really couldn't go anywhere with her until she was around 3 months.
Do you feel more confident or less stressed than you did with your first baby? MUCH MUCH more confident!! I second guessed everything I did with my DD and beat myself up all the time about everything (issues with nursing/supply, her fussiness, etc). With my son, I was much easier on myself and did what I though was best for him (instead of reading books, second guessing everything,etc). But again, he was/is a much easier baby.
What advice do you have for those (like me) about to have a NB around? My DD is 2. Try to spend alone time with her, you will have a lot because your new baby will sleep a lot. Even as the baby gets older, try to do things with just her (you or your husband).
Any other insights or perspectives of having 2+ that's different than when your only child was a NB? It is a lot harder to run errands and get anything done with two! My DD dropped her nap as soon as my DS was born, so I never ever had any time to myself, I still don't. I thought about that today as I was trying to use the bathroom and both kids are in there with me (and my DS is clinging to my legs as I am sitting on the toilet, nice!!), will I ever get to go to the bathroom by myself again? I would never change a thing, but it is an adjustment. Try to carve some time out for yourself (and your DH will need time to himself too and you will need time together w/o the kids). It is definitely a tough balance and something we are still working on and my DS is almost 1.
If you email her can you copy me too, I'd love some tips! The only issue we've had so far is DD seems more sensitive lately (crying over things easily).
Another tip I read was to do an activity and say "no babies allowed" so I've been doing that when I take her to bed or nap, we play in her room alone a little bit.
Did you find yourself getting out of the house more often than b/f (with the first baby) even though you have a NB? I really wanted to, but b/c of Zachary's RSV we were under "house arrest"
Do you feel more confident or less stressed than you did with your first baby? I felt so much more confident. I was so scared with Ella - always second guessing myself. Now I'm like - hey - Ella turned out ok - so I must have done something right! I also now know to ask for help. When it ws just Ella - I thought had to be some super mom and never really asked for help.
What advice do you have for those (like me) about to have a NB around? My DD is 2. Get your LO used to a carrier from the get go. It was a lifesaver for me. Keeping up with Ella is hard and it was nice to keep Zachary close to me. Also - we have "no babies" allowed play time. Like dbert I say - Ella / I are going over here to play - you're not allowed Z - you stay with daddy. She thinks it's funny and says - no Zachy - mommy / me play now!