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Natural Birth
Educating oneself on childbirth.
I feel like I am in a really good place both mentally and physically as I prepare for the birth of my child. I have done quite a bit of research, read a couple great books, and am practicing hypnobabies *almost* everyday (still working on that one). It seems to me that everyone else I know who has had a baby in the past is doing little to no work on educating themselves, ie. no one told me I'd be pushing for over an hour!! (My thoughts in my head: With an epidural? Are you kidding me? That's really good being you couldn't feel a thing or coordinate your muscles from your chest down...)
Or my cousin who opted for a scheduled c-section without even going to full term or into labor with her first baby because her doctor suggested it. (Makes me nauseous that a physician blatantly puts his patients at increased risk for his own convenience).
Anyways enough with the ranting, I feel so empowered that I can listen to my body, and am confident I can do this like nature intended! Does anyone else feel like their education/preparation made all the difference for them during pregnancy and birth?
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Re: Educating oneself on childbirth.
All that I read with my first was What to Expect When Expecting. That's it. I also talked a lot with my dr. I exercised and tried to relax about the whole thing. I didn't feel less "empowered" because I didn't do extensive research or take specifically designed "natural childbirth classes." I felt empowered because no matter which way my baby came out, I brought (would bring) a child into this world.
What made a difference to me (in all three), was that I kept my mind set relaxed and flexible and took everything as it came. Exercise and focus on controlled breathing also made the biggest difference physically.
I had an epidural with my second because of a ridiculously early urge to push (I was ready to push at 3 cm), and I felt everything - the epidural took the edge off.
I didn't have one with my first but with my second I did because the pain was so bad I was not dilating due to the stress it was causing me and my water broke. It allowed me to rest and when I woke up 3 hrs later I was 9cm. By the time I was ready to push my epidural was gone but my body needed to relax to get to that point. Everything besides the epidural was done without medical intervention. The epidural was great though for what I needed.
I get where you're coming from. Although, I don't know if I can say that those women don't feel empowered (ignorance is bliss, right?).
I think many women spend more time researching their stroller than educating themselves or asking their medical provider questions about labor and delivery. Although, I don't think that doing your homework means you'll necessarily want an unmedicated birth, but I do think it's good to go in knowing the benefits and risks of all of the interventions. It's nearly impossible to make an informed decision when you're in severe pain and learning about the various interventions for the first time.
These kinds of posts strike me as really elitist and missing the point.
A woman shouldn't have to be educated to receive good, evidence-based care. That is her doctor or midwife's responsibility. Instead of pointing fingers at other mothers, we should question why our system works the way it does and how we can change things to ensure better care for mothers and babies.
I kind of hate these self righteous posts.
I mean, good for you for doing what you feel is best for you and your baby, but why the need to judge someone else? I can guarantee you do not have every intimate detail of another person's pregnancy.
And, FWIW, you certainly can feel things below your chest with an epidural.
I like how you phrased this better than OP. I do "get" what OP was suggesting to an extent, since I have been floored by how little some of my friends and co-workers know about baby stuff in general, but I tend to plan and research everything (charting, following m/c, preparing for birth, after baby is born, etc.)
I hope this just means our learning curve will be slightly less steep than myKU co-worker's: "I will have to nurse at night too? I won't have to get up at night though if I EFF though, right?" "You can't take Advil when pregnant? Oh well, at least I am only in my 2nd tri." "I can't use the quilt in my bedding set with my NB? She's due in Sept. and it will be cooler by then though." I suspect she still believes a stork will be bringing her baby.
Make a pregnancy ticker
I kind of understand what you are trying to say, I find myself getting a little frustrated at some mama's who say they planned to go natural med free but at 3 cm "it just hurt so bad and I caved and the Epi was a gift from God"... I sometimes wonder if more preparation and research would have allowed them to push through it, but in the end it really is different for every person. Those stories just make me more determined not to give up and prepare myself even more. And yes, it is a little sad how some people don't really think it's important to do research on childbirth, at least all of the possible things that can happen in childbirth so they can make an informed decision at the time. It's one of the biggest, most important things in a woman's life and I personally think it very important to learn everything I can and prepare as much as possible for every scenario.
I definitely don't think I am somehow better than anyone else because of how I am preparing for my kind of birth, but I wish some women would put more importance on preperation rather than just go in not knowing what to expect or ways to cope because I really think it does help A LOT.
It sounds like you are implying that every woman who gets an epidural is not informed. I was well aware of the side effects when I got mine and of my choice. I also knew that sitting at a 3 for 5 hrs and exhausted was not helping me and I DID NOT want a c-section. Just because someones choice is not yours does not mean they did no research and are not informed.
This is strictly from my experience, but my 3 cm with Natalie felt like my 9 cm with Olivia..... 3 - 10 cm is a long way to go, so epidural I chose. As it was, I was still exhausted and could barely push when it was time. The epidural took the edge off, but I still needed to use breathing techniques throughout labour to keep me from pushing and to get through the contractions.
It's best not to judge a woman's decisions regarding pain, because only the mother can possibly know what she is feeling and what she can handle. Preparation isn't always going to get a woman further without med. pain relief.
Yep. I was in more pain at 3 cm with my daughter than I was during transition or crowning with my son. I made a fully informed choice to get an epidural with my daughter. You have no idea what kind of pain someone else is in or what factors they are considering when they decide to get an epidural.
Oh, Iris, MY births were powered by my own sense of self-satisfication, duuuuuh. </sarcasm>
Listen, something like 60% of women are induced in this country. And I think over 80% of women receive some sort of augmentation during labor. Not to mention that lots of women aren't encouraged to be active during labor (bc everyone has those monitoring straps on them, so they *have* to stay in bed). The system itself is stacked against women having straightforward, normal births, so no, I don't blame women for being uneducated or dumb if they get the epidural at 3 cm.
Somehow I escaped having pitocin for both of my hospital births. Do I think I'm the smartest smartypants that ever gave birth? No, I think I'm incredibly lucky, quite frankly...
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Good luck! I do agree women should be more informed about how their bodies work and the birthing process in general as well as the risks and benefits of each potential intervention. I completely disagree that it is up to the doctor/MW alone to educate a woman. I am thankful that I had that knowledge so that when it came down to the fact that I had to have a c-section I was at peace knowing that it was the best possible option for me and for DD.
That said, it is unfair to judge others circumstances not knowing the whole story. I was very informed. You'd probably assume I didn't prepare since I had a c/s. My Bradley teacher said I was one of her most prepared students and I had a c-section. You never know!
I'm going to quote myself and bold some important parts that maybe were easy to miss
I know it's easy to not be objective to this kind of statement and easy take it personally but I thought I made it very clear that I was definitely NOT speaking about any woman who ever got an intervention. I'm sorry if any of you took it that way because that was absolutely never my thought, that is why I used the terms I did.
And btw, in my case, especially since I am a FTM, I am taking my research and education to all aspects of labor and childbirth and even postpartum. I am learning about every possibility, including the use of interventions so I feel like I know a bit more about them if it comes to that and also prepare to avoid certain situations if I possibly can.
I personally could never go into something as huge and important and intense as this without thoroughly understanding or at least trying to understand all the different scenarios that could happen. But that's just me, I'm a big information geek and research just about everything, so that's where I'm coming from.