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SnowflakeBride06
member
Thing MIL's say that bug you...and go!
SnowflakeBride06
member
I was supposed to gtg with my MIL today but Isabel woke up in the middle of the night with a stuffy now runny nose and a little cough. I broke plans with her so that if its not teething she won't spread germs.
MIL says, 'unfortunately when you socialize with other children you share germs but you can't keep her in a bubble I guess'
Ugh!
She has said it more than 1x before FWIW Isabel has only been sick 2x before. I SAH but I can't stay cooped up every day. We go to friend's houses and story time and I feel like she's less exposed to germs than at daycare ( I could be wrong) but bottom line she's not been sick more than a couple of times.
I just feel like its a rude thing to say and makes me feel like a bad mom for going out...ugh!
6/09 right tube loss (fallopian torsion) 12/09 BFP #1 (DD born 9/10)
8/12 dx Lupus (ANA+/APA-), 12/12 BFP #2 natural m/c 6w 2d
TTC#2 since 9/12 50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #1 Beta 10/4=BFN
50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #2 Beta 11/1= BFN
100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #3 Beta 12/26=BFFN
100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #4 Beta 2/14= BFFN
Took a LONG Break
Lots of Luck and Love BFPB for life KOFMKG
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Re: Thing MIL's say that bug you...and go!
My MIL is German and there are way too many things I Could say! Most are harmless even though I feel very offended.
For example: I had Gastric Bypass 3 years ago and lost 135 pounds. Well, she tells everyone how FAT I use to be. She is over 200 lbs so not much room to talk.In addition, she loves to tell me everything everyone use to say and do behind my back including herself and my husband.I try to explain to her she is still hurting my feelings now because I am that same person!
Example #2: She compares my son to her other grandson and actually tells her own son that my son is her favorite and when her tells her how handsome his son is she tells him that everyone thinks their child is beautiful even if they are ugly. I feel terrible about this and mu husband and I hardly even talk to them anymore.It's embarrassing!
"Come here, I am better than mommy"
No lie.
Ouch. That is so rude.
When I was pregnant my MIL said "wow you have boobs now". Thanks, I had boobs before and yes, they were small
.
"Him just tired!" Or, "Him is playing!". When she uses "him" instead of "he" or "he is," it's like nails across a chalkboard.
And, while I'm complaining, it drives me up the wall that she keeps buying him so much crap for her house. When he was born we lived 2 states away, and now we live on the complete other side of the country. H has tried to explain to her that there is no need for a swing, crib, stuffed animals, diaper pail, etc when we will only be able to visit about 2 times/year. I know this makes me sound ungrateful, but I put a ton of research into all of DS's things to make sure they are 100% safe. She gets all of her crap from garage sales and doesn't even clean them afterwards. I overheard H talking to her on the phone the other day and she was asking what kind of crib bumpers we use. I told H to have her return the CRIB she bought, God only knows where she got it from and how decrepit it was.
Mine says similar things to DS. When he comes to give me a hug she says "No, you don't like mom. Give grandma a hug. You hug mommy all day."
Or how she always disciplines him and just says negative things to him. She sees him a couple hours a month, and he doesn't hear much positive compliments from her.
"Don't put your fingers in your mouth. That is SO YUCKY."
"You be good for mom, ya hear me?"
It's funny - I took her comment completely different than you did. "You can't keep her in a bubble" to me would mean that cough or no cough, she could still keep her plans with Grandma. I thought she was trying to guilt you into still meeting her.
I took it to mean the same thing- that you were being too cautious by breaking plans. I don't think she was trying to say anything about you taking her other places to socialize.
"It's not my job, I'm just the grandma"
I know it's because of SIL and niece. SIL depends on MIL to help her out way too much and MIL would go along with it. Even when we go on our annual camping trip, SIL and niece pile all their crap into MIL's camper (FIL isn't big on camping) instead of setting up their own tent like everyone else. Then MIL would turn around and whine about needing to be prepared for "everyone"
One day MIL started saying the above phrase to herself. Normally I'd said more power to her but she seriously can't just pour DS some juice because my hands are clearly full? The woman doesn't have a happy medium ::shrug::
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
Everything!
In my defense, it's because she talks in baby talk.
"Let me get my camwa."
"I got her someting comfabow."
Even talking about it gets me all agitated!
"I'm glad i raised my kids in the country b/c city kids dont know how to use their imaginations, my kids played in the barn with a rope."
And by "city" she means not in the country: so small town of 200, suburbs, or a lrg city.
"I raised my kids and did everything for my kids and husband(now ex-h) for 26 years. It is now time for me to do everything for me and I deserve to have anything I want." We hear this every time she buys something new. Yes she is single and fine if she wants to be selfish BUT she can not afford half the things she buys. She has money in the bank from the divorce but it is running low and she doesn't make enough to pay her bills. She expects that because she took care of her children they will take care of her when her money runs out. I have no problem helping elderly parents when they can't help themselves but I have no intention of giving a capable but irresponsible adult money to pay their bills.
When talking to my LO's, "Your Mom is going to kill me for this, but..."
So she is readily admitting that she does things that she KNOWS I will disapprove of. Gotta love someone that respects your wishes when it comes to your children.
Well, we are no longer on speaking terms with my MIL, mainly because our relationship with her was toxic, but here are a few gems that stick out in my mind.
At 6 weeks post partum when I mentioned going for a walk "Well good, hopefully you'll lose some of that baby fat now"
"Mommy is mean and says you can't do that" - said to my daughter when I told MIL my dd would not have ice cream half an hour before dinner.
"Mommy didn't let me be in the delivery room when you were born because apparently that day was all about her" said to my DD.
"You have no imagination at all. It must be so boring to be you" when I told her I didn't really want to paint my son's nursery with blue and green stripes (her idea)
When I had horrible morning sickness with both pregnancies, she told me it must be something I'm doing wrong, because SHE never had morning sickness that bad, and she took care of herself (she smoked when she was pregnant with DH, btw)
Needless to say, my life is for the better now that she is not around. Honestly.
My kid has some developmental delays, and she gets speech and occupational therapy through EI. She's a smart kid, but she has a motor speech problem, and our speech-language pathologist thinks she probably has apraxia. MIL is always saying that DD is smart and nothing is wrong with her. It's true that my kid is smart, but I get frustrated because she is so dismissive of our concerns about her speech. I'm not a hysterical neurotic mommy; DD's speech delay is severe. MIL knows almost nothing about child development, and she doesn't realize a kid can be intelligent and still have a serious speech disorder.
MIL is also super religious. She says DD doesn't talk because we don't go to church. Argh.
OMG, I would flip a lid!! I hate how MIL says "MY GRANDSON". Every time she speaks of him. Like DS belongs to her. And he has a name for goodness sake.
My FIL's wife does this all the time. It is always "OUR grandbabies". She has always done this but it seems to be getting worse. Every photo comment on facebook is "There's OUR grandbabies. We love them!" and yes she capitalizes "our" every time.
As I was in the hospital, 1 day post-partum, she asked me if we were going to have another baby. I just kind of laughed it off, but then she told me in all seriousness that I needed to wait until DD is in school and that too many people get pregnant when their kids are still babies. UGH
She also accused me of being pregnant at my bridal shower, in front of friends, saying that she had a dream that I was pregnant and that was why we were getting married. We had an 18 month engagement and our wedding venue booked 12 months out, clearly we werent tying the knot because I was knocked up. Not that it would really be her business anyway. :P
DD2: Lucia (Lucy) 07/13