What do you do once LO goes to bed? I feel like a slug

Harper'smom · June 2011

We try to get DD to bed at 8:30 and I leave her room once she's asleep which sometimes is not until close to 9. We go to bed at around 11 but I really need to get back to going to bed at 10:30. I work FT so from the time I get home until DD goes to bed it's go go go. By the time she goes to bed I'm done and plop on the couch. My eyes are fried from being on the computer all day so I'm too tired to read, too brain fried to pay the bills, and our house is too small to do any projects/cleaning without waking DD. So DH lays in my lap and we watch t.v. almost every night M-F.

It just seems lame and I want to "do more" but I'm so wiped out. A night time walk would be o.k. I guess but we walk the dog when we get home and one of us would need to stay with DD. Meanwhile the house is a mess, the paperwork is sky high, and it starts to become overwhelming.

What does everyone else do with this time?

ananas19 · June 2011

Um, do we have the same life?

Seriously, that's pretty much what I do. I have a list of things that need to get done that's a mile long, and still I sit on the couch. I think I'm in denial of the actual state of my home, and since my DH doesn't care about any of it I just let it go.

anna7602 · June 2011

DH is almost never home before 11ish, so post-DD's bedtime is my "me" time to read, bump, watch movies, call friends or go to bed early if I don't have work to do (I freelance, so sadly, a lot of times I am catching up on work at night). Sometimes I even use that time to primp- I sit down with a deep conditioner cream in my head and pore strips and a self-waxing kit and I am a happy woman.

I almost never use that time to clean up. There's no way. I'm too exhausted. If I can get a sitter, then I sometimes go out with friends on a weeknight or head to a yoga class, but sitters are expensive and I don't do that too often. I've been going to yoga first thing in the morning before DD or DH wake up.

KittyKatMom · June 2011

Sometimes I run around the house like a maniac, trying to clean and do as many chores as I can before collapsing from exhaustion. After a few days in a row of that, I feel completely burned out, so then I'll spend the entire evening surfing the internet because it requires hardly any physical exertion. Other nights I'll try to do a little bit of everything and then feel completely overwhelmed. That little bit of free time is such a precious commodity I'm still trying to find the right balance . . .

LouiseB2001 · June 2011

I know exactly what you mean. I watch TV (we don't have cable but download or watch netflix so at least it is selective watching) or read a book or magazine. The best thing that I can recommend is knitting. I can knit while watching tv and it means I feel less bad about it. Something cute comes out of it after a couple of month, Zoe has several sweaters and hats that I have knitted. I always have plans to write but this happens maybe 1-2 per week. Like Anna I often have work to do at night, my work is very deadline oriented so up to a major deadline (4-6 times per year) I work every night for 2 weeks, for at least 3 hours. Last week I was up 'til 1.30 am two nights, with a DD waking up 6 am and no DH. That was no fun. Enjoy the relaxing even though it feels like slacking :-)

webMistress0609 · June 2011

Ari went to bed @ 8:00. I cleaned up the dinner mess, & I'm now sitting on my a$$ eating coconut milk ice cream straight out of the carton watching Rachel Maddow & I'll be online for another few minutes. This is usually what happens. If it was diaper laundry day, I'll stuff dipes while watching Maddow.

At least now that I'm SAH I can get things done while he's napping. I'm too wiped out @ night even though I'm not working now. I thought I would have more energy, but chasing after a high needs toddler is pretty tiring.

Soon2BMrsN · June 2011

DS is always in bed by 8:30 at the lastest (usually more like 8:00). Then DH and I make and eat dinner (or we reheat something I prepped when I got home earlier), clean up, and fall onto the couches and turn on the TV. Sometimes we take turns walking the poor dog, but he usually gets neglected (good thing we have a fenced yard!) Since I'm PG and DH works intense/long hours, we're both usually asleep in the living room by 10:30.

So, no, we're not productive in the evenings.

drea_raye · June 2011

I am at home (until J hits 12 months)... He makes it to bed around 9 at the latest... usually I pump while DH is putting him to bed (as getting him to nap all day pretty much eats my patience.)

I might do some laundry tasks... switch over or rinse diapers, etc, sometimes stuff, but not often. Things might get tidied up, but not usually.

This is the only time of the day that I find I can do what I want... and don't have anybody attached to me. So I read, bump, watch tv shows, etc.

I think once I am back at work I will have to make sure to have one nightly task (at least) so the house stays reasonable and weekends are free to be with J. I am already dreading going back to work. There is no way we can afford for me to SAH, and nothing I can do to earn from home.

I think, now that one of DH's garage projects is winding down and the days are getting longer, I might start trying to get out for a walk or something on my own (tempted to take my book to the end of the driveway, lol) just so I have some true baby free time... since I am still glued to the monitor, and the parent on call.

HappyMommy28 · June 2011

By the end of the day I'm pooped. I usually do a portion of a bible study, bump, FB, eat, shower, t.v. bed. I'm not doing many chores after he's asleep - that is me time.

ErinRC · June 2011

I usually try to get things done while SO is getting LO ready for bed, actually all I ever get done is cleaning the kitchen, which gets bad after a day of LO throwing food on the floor. Putting her to bed is a two step process, daddy gets her in her PJs and nighttime diaper, reads her stories, and then I nurse her. Once she's asleep I use the time to relax.

SO and I usually watch TV, sometimes I exercise if I'm feeling energetic, maybe I'll play a video game. Like OP our house is too small to really get things done, and I try to use nap time to "productively relax" (read, write, meditate, get some project done).

WyoGal · June 2011

We are slugs too (computer time, reading, tv shows/movies on the laptops) and M goes to bed even earlier! I try and go out with friends once a week or every other week and have DH doe the same. However, I think about how much running around my friends with school-age LOs do and try and remember to savor this time while we have it.

WildcatPrincess · June 2011

Watch TV with DH until bed!

Harper'smom · June 2011

O.K. good, we are not the only ones. I think I am still surprised, 2 and a half years later, at how exhausted I am. It is one of those things you take for granted as a child growing up. It wouldn't be better if I SAHd because I would just be making more messes through the day. When DH SAHd pt for DD's first 20mos it was much easier. He rocked at keeping up with her and the house. I'm just surprised I guess that most parents of small children exist in this semi-zombie state for..I don't know..ever?? Lol

blueyez09 · June 2011

LO is usually in bed asleep by 730, I usually clean up from LO's dinner, make DH and I dinner, get all LO's daycare stuff (Breakfast, Lunch, snacks, Sippy's etc) together for the next day, maybe through in a load of laundry or fold laundry, clean up from our dinner, then completely collapse on the couch and zone (usually watching TV or on FB) until I go to bed at 930. I am completely usless after being up at 530 and working all day then running around like a mad woman after picking LO up from daycare around 5.

As soon as we walk in the door from daycare we play for 15-20 min, then he eats dinner, then Bath then Mommy LO time from 615 till 7 where we will either play, read books, catch an episode of Fresh Beat Band (LO's fav TV show, he's mostly into the signing and dancing of it) and hop into bed for snuggles and singing till he's out.

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