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March 2011 Moms
Dear... (add your letter to who- or whatever)
Dear DH:
Just because you don't go out as much as you used to does not mean that it's okay to be late every time you do go out. If you say you're going to be home at 8pm, be home at 8pm. If you know that's not possible, tell me you'll be home by 10pm and then, if you get home before that, I'll be happy you came home early! Oh, and it's not okay to be mad at me because I'm upset that you were late.
Your punctual wife
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Dear... (add your letter to who- or whatever)
ooh yay
.
Dear DH:
Why in the EF are you looking at MOTORCYCLES on craigslist. Look at that motorcycle and tell me where we are going to fit two infant car seats! Don't you think before we start looking at toys (that we can't afford) for ourselves, we should probably get ONE reliable car. I know that you think that your '97 Cutlass is the best car in the universe bit it has 214,000 MILES ON IT. I know you are "Mr. I can fix anything" but there will come a day when that car is passed the point of fixing. My car isn't the most reliable thing in the world either. First of all it is a Ford Escort that is 15 years old, and I have had it since I was 15! Second of all, it is not very comfortable when I am basically chest to steering wheel when the car seats are in there.
Now I know you think you can cheat the system by buying a car on craigslist, but what you didn't realizes is that people are DIRTY ROTTEN LIARS when it comes to selling cars on craigslist. I think that the Taurus we bought in December is a perfect example. Tell me that the guy who sold us the car knew nothing was wrong with it when EVERY TIME we think the car is fixed and we go somewhere it DIES. What I would like to do with that car is put it in drive and let it drive off a cliff. I don't like the fact that every single weekend when you are supposed to be spending time with me and the girls, you are in the garage working on one of the cars because there is ALWAYS something wrong with at least one of them!
I love you hunny, but you can't fix everything. Can't we just get a reliable, new, decent size car with 4 doors on it. I just want to be able to go see my parents, or yours and not have to worry about making it back home! Do it for the girls.
Wouldn't you like a weekend where you can just relax and not fix anything and play with babies all day!
Your frustrated wife
Sorry that ended up being so long. I had to get it out!!!
I agree with you're letter along with mine
Dear People who try to subtly tell me my baby is fat,
Yes it is still rude. "Wow, that baby doesn't miss a feeding" is not a nice way of putting it. My baby being 12 Ibs. at 3 months is just fine. The next time you insult her in your "nice" ways, i will insult you in a nice way.
Sincerely yours
Dear Stupid Mortgage Companies:
Thank you for not approving us for the loan on our new house. I understand that we currently have a house that is a little upside down, but our plan was to have ILs rent the house so that they could be closer to DS and they wanted to help us out. I'm sorry our near perfect credit and more than 20% down payment wasn't enough for you. I'm also sorry that you won't count the rental income as part of our income so that we would get approved for both houses. I now have a greater understanding to why our economy sucks so bad right now and why the housing market is failing.
Sincerely,
A frustrated homeowner
Dear DH -
At least one night this week I would have liked you to spend some time with your daughter. I know you work hard but coming home cracking open a beer or pouring yourself a glass of wine/smoking cigs and vegging out in the pool while the baby and I are inside is not ok. It's 1000 degrees out and we cannot have the baby out in that weather. I'd even let you watch whatever you want on TV even soccer!
Your loving wife
Dear blazing hot sun/weather -
Can you please turn it down a notch it's not even summer yet?! I don't know if our air conditioning unit can take it much longer either and the baby and I will melt without it.
TIA
I love these:)
Dear DH,
you are a workaholic and have a hard time not doing something all day long. First it was painting 3 weeks home from the hospital. It was 2 coats on every wall for chair rail and wall...it took forever. now that's done and hooray, another project! now you are painting the credenza black with primer and paint! I wish you would spend more time with your daughter and just enjoy it! instead you want to either work on a project or do work from the bank on your laptop.
I love that you're hardworking but come on! I pray for a lazy day that we could watch movies and listen to the rain and spend time with your lo.
love me
Dear kitten.
The toys on the play mat are not yours, the pacifiers are not yours, the bouncy seat is not yours and baby's hands are not a play toy! Napping babies do not like to be crawled on, and Garfield is an old man kitty and does not like to play.
Also, you are not allowed outside because every time I let you sneak out onto the porch and stay there.. 2 hawks and an osprey start circling the house. Sorry little man..
<a href="http://s844.photobucket.com/albums/ab4/mrsskelton/?action=view
12 lbs at 3 months is no where near fat!
yes!!
Dear DH,
I know you work so hard and are tiered, but when you see that its 10 oclock at night and your daughter has not had her bath yet, there is a stack of clothes and diapers that need to be folded, the dishes arnt done and I still neet to give DD her last feeding before she is out for the night please dont ask me if there is anything that needs to be done becuase your thinking of going to bed. If i tell you that your daughter needs a bath and that the huge stack on clothes and diapers on the couch need to be folded and the dishes that are dirty need to be washed dont look at me surprised that you cant go to bed yet.
I love you, your wife.
I agree!!! DD is 12lbs at 2 months lol.
Dear Similac,
You make my baby's poop stink. And that makes me unhappy.
Signed,
Recently Started Supplementing Mama
I love this!!!
Dear Insurance Agent that just put me on hold,
The check I dropped off at your office is for my house insurance. The other check I dropped off in a separate envelope is for my auto insurance. Please do not call and ask me what accounts to apply the payment to. I put the payment coupons in the envelope and wrote my account number on each check for a reason!!!
I love this!!!
Dear Insurance Agent that just put me on hold,
The check I dropped off at your office is for my house insurance. The other check I dropped off in a separate envelope is for my auto insurance. Please do not call and ask me what accounts to apply the payment to. I put the payment coupons in the envelope and wrote my account number on each check for a reason!!!
Funny!!! And she's so cute too!!!!
All these letters are great...
Dear Kaiser,
Thank you for reminding me how heart-less insurance companies are. I know it sucks for you that you can't automatically deny my baby girl coverage anymore because of her pre-existing condition. I know its horrible for your bottom line that she might require an ultrasound or two. Baby, she was born that way, and (FYI) God makes no mistakes.
Very Truly Yours,
Oh these make me happy!
Dear DH,
I understand that I tend to be the decision making member of this household but as we have previously discussed on several occations lately, my common sense and ability to make good decisions, remember things, or function as I did before DS has completely gone out the window. We have discussed that I need to back off making fast decisions because I always seem to choose incorrectly. So why is it that you had me talk to the crazy ass door-to-door salesman yesterday? Because of this, we successfully fell for a scam. Please allow said salesman to return like he promises, even though none of his stories have added up, and return our money in exchange for his crap.
And remember that you allowing me to make this stupid decision caused me to have little to no sleep last night because I tossed and turned out of frustration, regret, disappointment and sheer disgust with myself. So next time, as I've told you a thousand times before, when someone comes to our door tell them to leave. Don't tell them, let me get my wife. Don't tell them I'll talk to them. Tell them to leave.
Thank you,
Your really foggy brained wife
P.S. DS, please give Mommy back her common sense. I know you want to grow up to be smart but if Mommy doesn't get her crap together, we're going to be in big trouble.
Dear 20 lbs,
While you served me well for 9 months, it's time for you to go away. I am tired of squeezing into the one pair of jeans that fit. I can also tell you that no one appreciates the new muffin top look I'm sporting thanks to you.
Signed,
Still look like I'm pg 2 mos later
I'm signing my name to this letter as well
Dear Insurance Companies (mine and G's),
Could at least ONE person there get there crap together!?! Thanks to you both, I got TWO appointments cancelled in one week. My bc check-up and G's two month appointment. Now I get to reschedule both and work myself up again over the fact that my baby is getting stuck with a needle. I was prepared the day we went and you made me look like a b*tch because I cried when the nurse told me G's insurance wasn't approved because you "must have forgot to submit his paperwork." You suck. Try just doing your job right. You don't even have to excel, even mediocre would work for me.
Thanks
Dear MIL,
I'm glad you love my baby...but please remember who gave birth to her. And please remember that it is not my job to give you regular updates on every single thing that my child is doing. You have a son. Feel free to call him about his daughter. Don't worry - she will love you in her own way and in her own time. Buying countless outfits that read "I *heart* Grandma" will not speed up the process of her loving you. She is three months old. The only thing she really loves in this world are her momma's boobs. I would also like for you to keep in mind that we (your son and your daughter-in-law) are more than just parents to your grandbaby. Sometimes we would like to talk about things other than our daughter.
Just a few things to keep in consideration.
Your daughter-in-law