- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Success after IF
DDs Godfather passed. Need advice...
One of my husbands dear friends was found dead in his home today. He was caring for his senile mother. I am thinking it may have been suicide. He always suffered from depression, but when he lived closer to us, he had a full time job as a pharmacist. He had work, his work friends, and our family to help out. His mom fell and broke her hip about 1.5 years ago, and he quit his job and moved in with her (about 2 hours away). Then a downward spiral began. It was just his 44th birthday.
My DH had not heard from him in a few weeks. He was estranged from his 2 brothers, so we were his only type of family. He had visited us in Mid May. He looked horrible. It was an impromptu visit, but we were just happy he was getting out of the house. I had an eery feeling when he left...(i felt like he was saying "goodbye" for good). When DH told me last week that he couldn't get in touch with him i told him about my feeling. DH called the police this am, and they found him. His very senile mother answered the door, but was very confused. They found his body in his bed and guesstimated he had been there for at least 2 weeks.
DH is a mess. He feels guilty, etc. (and so do I because I felt like something wasn't right when he left). He got in contact with one of his brothers. He left to go to his house. He doesn't really have a plan, but wants to get things in order for him. We aren't sure if he had a will or anything, but DH thinks he had a burial plot paid for.
Is there anything that DH can do to make sure his wishes are carried out? Will his "blood" brothers automatically make all the decsions?
Any advice in general that i can relay to DH? I feel so badly for him. I have never seen him break down and cry like this. It makes me feel so sad for him. I really really really hope there is a will and DH is the executor.
Thanks for your help...
Holly
This discussion has been closed.
Re: DDs Godfather passed. Need advice...
I'm sending prayers to everyone involved. I hope that his brothers step up, let bygones be bygones and do what's right for their brother and their mother.
Sorry I don't have any advice, but wanted to say I am so sorry for you, dh and dd's loss. And I agree, hopefully his brothers will make the right decision. I will keep y'all in my thoughts and prayers during this time.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
Amber
TTC since March '06
MFI, LPD, possible PCOS
3 chem pgs * m/c identical twins at 9w 10.06
IVF w/ICSI #2 - beta - 187! (9dp5dt), beta - 367! (11dp5dt)
IVF w/ICSI #3 - it's a girl!
My IF Blog: Between the Lines
My Parenting Blog: Letters From Your Mama
I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through something similar last year, but it was one of my close friends. He had a lot of problems, struggled with depression and alcoholism. He ended his life on his 41'st birthday. I had the same thoughts as you and most likely your Dh. There must have been something I can do or I knew something was wrong, why didn't I say anything or get him help. You can ask yourself a million questions, but in the end, it's not your fault, and you shouldn't carry any guilt. You and your DH gave him a family, and I'm sure you guys meant the world to him.
All you can do is just be there for your DH is be there for him to listen to him talk. As for the Will, if he has one, hopefully your DH is incharge of it like you said, if not, unfortunatly I think it goes to the next of Kin which I think would be his brothers.
I'm so sorry you and your DH are going through this. If you need to talk, vent, get anything out, please pm me.