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LGBT Parenting
ctbride08
member
PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday!
ctbride08
member
Hows it going this week? Highs? Lows? We want to hear it all!
QOTD: Do you think being a parent has changed you? If so, how?
For the to-be parents: What's the biggest change you anticipate?
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
This discussion has been closed.
Re: PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday!
Overall everything is great. LO can now tell me what noise a dog makes and point to her nose. I don't think I'll ever fail to be amazed at watching her learn.
QOTD: Of course I've changed! I'm actually much more easy going than pre-baby (and more than I thought I would be with baby). I'm more confident, self-assured, and direct. I've learned to be very flexible within a routine and not so black and white. My heart is much bigger than I ever imagine...oh, and I cry at the cheesiest sappiest things now. lol!
We're still in our holding pattern of PCP, with ttc (resuming) hopefully in fall/winter.
Our big focus right now is building a freelance business for C so she can quit one of her part-time jobs and work from hope part-time. We're also re-doing my business website, which is a lot of work but will hopefully be amazing and helpful in getting new clients.
I think the biggest change will be in our schedules/flexibility. Right now I can take clients and be on-call with periods away from home that can last days. That won't be possible with a nursling. So the initial postpartum period we'll need to have enough savings in my/our "maternity fund" to carry us over until I can build up a supply of breastmilk and be away from babe. My biggest stressor is always financial, so I'm anticipating that a change in my ability to earn money will be challenging.
I think we picked a fertility clinic...! Now the plan is to get a regular annual exam. I'd love to do the initial appointment first just to get the financial piece understood. I have a (very scary) price list and incomprehensible insurance paperwork, but I want to know how they fit together. Then we could decide how fast to move afterwards.
It's hard to anticipate how I'll change. I'm already surprised how nostolgic I am for my midwestern SAHM childhood, and sad that I won't give that to our children. I am most fearful of sleep deprivation, my own anxiety, and the potential for jealousy between DW and me. Hopefully I will change so that these things don't become major issues.
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
I am sure C will update about the Kiddos.
QOTD: I have changed more as a person after having the twins than I did with DD. I feel bad about that because I feel I am a better person now. In my younger years I was a huge reflection of my father...school, cleanliness, discipline and RESPECT.
With Peanut and Little Man I find myself a little more at ease. At times I shake my head about how quickly they make a mess, but I pretty much have given in to that. And just because my Father had grandiose expectations of us (e.g. I was potty-trained at 10-months) there is no way I would ever impose that on our Kiddos. When I was younger I didn't always think like that.
A week or so ago I cried my guts out because I was afraid something happened to C and the twins. C was over an hour late from work with the Kiddos and I couldn't reach her. The depth of pain I felt showed me how much Love I can really have, there was nothing blocking my true feelings. I was not like this at all.
I think all the changes that have come have been for the positive. (Other than bickering more with C
...but we're working on that...needless to say, with kids stress abounds!)
Its been a challenging week in casa ctbride. Though I'll start with the good stuff - Sprout had an awesome time at his bday party and had generally fantastic behavior all weekend. On the less exciting side, his school behavior is right back down in the dumps. Not listening, getting the class all riled up and distracted during learning times, not playing nice, ect. UGH! I feel like we've tried everything. His behavior was so poor yesterday (and we are so sick of the bad reports) that he's home today. His activities for the day will include: cleaning his room, writing his thank you cards, reading books, and napping. Its only been a couple hours and he's already begging to go to school.
Adding to the stress: his previous therapist wont return my calls and the 10 others I've left messages for either no longer take state insurance or don't see kids as young as him.
QOTD:
I feel like I've matured so much since becoming a parent. I had no idea how immature I was pre-kids but it makes me cringe to look back on the things I used to think/say/do...and it wasn't all that long ago. I'm more confident now and more willing to speak up - especially when advocating for my children.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
the kids are a cracking me up. This was the conversation last night in the car:
C: Is your work busy?
Me: Yes, most of the time it is pretty busy.
G: Do you prefer it when it is busy or slow?
Me: Well, I like it when it is busy, but not too busy. That was a good question, Buddy.
G: Yea, well, I ask the hard hitting questions.
In many way, I can't remember what I was like before I was a parent. I probably get frustrated more quickly (I've always been impatient/easily frustrated, but having the kids just pushed those buttons more often.) I am less interested in going out (not that I did that a lot pre-kids) but because it involves finding a sitter/paying a sitter/still having to get up early the next morning I tend to avoid it. Interesting question, I'll have to ask L tonight.
I feel like we've struck a path in the right direction with Iz, she has started responding to discipline with age appropriate behaviors in the past week: crying, throwing fits, and getting mad. As frustrating as it can be sometimes, I feel that her reactions show she is more comfortable with letting her real feelings out. We are still having food issues with her, J and I are trying to come up with a plan that helps her to understand that it's ok to be done eating/full and that food will always be there. Bed wetting is still an issue too, I'm not sure how to conquer this one because it's not happening while she's asleep, she is choosing to stay in bed and pee in the morning. I'm washing her bedding at least 4 times a week (no pull-ups, I want her to feel when she wets) and reminding her that she needs to get up and use the bathroom as soon as she wakes up. Overall we are doing really well with her.
A ended the school year yesterday and is excited for summer break. She's been really bossy lately and we've had to check her bossiness a few times. She's also been acting like a mom to Iz which has been bothering me, I don't want my kids to parent each other, that's my job. I think A likes to see Iz in trouble so she is bossy with her so she can feel in control.
QOTD: I changed a lot when I had A, I stood up for myself more and voiced my opinions. I was very easygoing with A and gained a lot of patience, my capacity for love grew a thousand fold. I preferred to stay at home with her than out in the clubs with my partner. A became my world and I would give everything else up for her. I parented with love and a lot of leeway after my ex and I broke up, I tried to make up for that loss.
I've changed again since having Iz come into our lives. I am more of a no nonsense parent and will tolerate less acting up and fighting. I am flexible but only to an extent, I feel like Iz needs a very structured set of rules and discipline. I am the parent that teaches the girls where J is the parent that plays with the girls. I still have the mama bear mentality and will protect my girls at all costs. I am learning that parenting differs with each child, there isn't one style that fits all children...there should be a school for this stuff. I guess that means that I am learning to be more adaptable as a parent.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
E had a good dropoff at school this morning, yay I'll take it! She has been asking some interesting questions lately, things that make me go hmm, I have no idea how/why that works baby, let's figure it out. Crazy where their minds go. 2brides, your line from Gray cracks me up. E likes to pull those one-liners out of nowhere too and I have to ask her where they came from because some of them are well...not very appropriate for a 5 year old. Unfortunately I think the kids in her class with older siblings provide some interesting material. I guess this is just the beginning, but man I love my sweet innocent E, don't spoil her yet!!!
QOTD: I think patience is a big one for me, most of the time I feel in charge but sometimes E can push my buttons. Stalling bedtime, going to school, anything where we have a timeline. It has forced me to be more realistic with things, lay down some ground rules but also give her freedom to be herself.
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
Things have been trucking along just fine at our house. The kiddos are getting better at sharing (*knock on wood!!!*), and we're trying to let them work things out on their own more (provided they are both safe-- we do step in if any hitting/ biting/ hair pulling starts).
We're still struggling with table food a bit. By their teachers' reports, they seem to do okay at school, but at home they frequently flat-out refuse to eat their dinner. Given the limited time we have in the evening to do dinner and get them to bed at a reasonable hour (always a challenge), we don't have time to let them do long leisurely picking-at dinners, so we frequently resort to giving them baby food (the 3rd foods stuff with little chunks in it). It's even harder now that they both like to do what the other one is doing. The last few nights when Peanut has decided she's done she's started shaking her head "no" vigorously. Little Man looks at her, smiles, and then starts shaking his head "no" as well (even if we all know he's still hungry). Sometimes we can get one or the other to eat a little more, but more often than not it's over.
We're seeing more giggles out of Peanut lately, which is fantastic (she's our serious one). Little Man is getting better at following directions ("bring Mommy the ball"), which is reassuring (I really do try to not compare, but it's hard with two same-age kids!). DS also has a cute new routine-- when he gets tired, he goes to the couch and pulls the couch blanket down on to the floor, flops down on it, and lays there smiling until I say "night night, Little Man!" Just this past week DD decided she wanted in on the game, and so now when he pulls the blanket down they both flop down on it. Aside from the inevitable bumped heads, they both get a kick out of it. It's really fun to see them play together.
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
That's too cute! For DD and I it's more of a tilt-head-back and howl. I can howl and get one of my dogs to howl back. LO finds it hilarious! Now she tilts her head back and makes a squeak.