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Single Parents
Intro (Long - sorry!)
Hi there! I have a two year old girl who is the best thing to ever happen to me.
Background - Married for almost 12 years, had DD after 10 years of marriage. DH has aspergers but aside from that (I don't like to generalize people with aspergers) he is an emotionally abusive, cold distant person. Wasn't so bad when we didn't have DD as he could be selfish. After being screamed at last night because I asked him to close the window (on his side of bed) as he would not let me see why DD was crying and I didn't want to wake up the neighborhood. Finally realized I am scared to death of the guy and decided enough is enough.
So today I have to take a DD over to my folks and tell them we are getting a divorce. I need to tell as many people as possible because then I have more of a chance of leaving for good.
Did I mention I am a SAHM after selling my business last year? So now I need to get a job and worry about DD adjusting to daycare, yikes! I sent out quite a few resumes today. I will walk away with a good chunk of change from the divorce but it will be an adjustment for him and me.
I am hoping everything goes smoothly but expecting the worse. He wants 50% custody, but I think we will handle that when it comes to it. He is a good dad but excuses any shortcomings with his aspergers. Most people with it end up estranged from their children. Life sucks right now but I am focusin on the future and giving my DD the most stable loving home I can. Any advice?
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Re: Intro (Long - sorry!)
Good luck, that sounds like a bad situation, and it's best that you left. As far as 50/50, if his aspergers makes him violent in any way, I think you need to make sure that he doesn't get this. Do you think he needs to have supervised visitation?
You will need to consult with a lawyer and probably hire one. They are expensive but worth it.
Just focus on your DD and continue to stay positive. This board is a great support.
I don't really have any advice. I'm pretty new to all of this as well. I know the first thing to do is get an attorney and protect yourself and your DD. I also got a counselor right away and that has helped me a lot. She recommended to me to get the best attorney I can afford and that I am comfortable with.
You are doing the right thing, just be strong. I've gone from shock to anger to survival mode (which is what I'm now). Hang in there!