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My toddler is an emotional mess

CaitlinJ22CaitlinJ22 member
in Two Under 2

DS is 2.5 and very aware of everything. DH works offshore, so he gets very sad when he leaves and for the 3 wks he's gone he asks about him a lot. He talks to him on the phone most nights, but we can't skype bc of the nature of his rig. He is also having nightmares lately and is very sensitive all the time. His demeanor changes at the drop of a hat and it is hard to snap him out of it. He will mope aroudn saying he's sad and then finally 20 minutes later he will come up to me and tell me he's happy again. I talk to him about his feelings, I give him attention, we get out a lot, have playdates etc. His emotions are so hard to watch, especially when the relate to Daddy. Idont blame it all on DH being gone, but it has to do with a lot of his insecurities.

We have my sister and her family who live 45 mins away, but other than them, no other family around. I wish my parents were nearby to help. It gets so lonely. 

This is hard. And of course I have DD to care for, the house to care for, laundry shopping, cooking etc....I wear 17 hats when DH is gone....I am TIRED. And with DS having nightmares and waking up afriad of his crib, I am even more tired. I find myself losing my temper a lot and yeling more than I would like. I am 1 week into the 3 weeks that DH works and I am POOPED!

Any advice on 2.5 year olds in general? nightmares? coping with Daddy being gone? ugh I am wiped. 

Thanks for listening.  

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Re: My toddler is an emotional mess

  • JPafford86JPafford86
    I don't have any advice but wanted to remind you it gets better Momma!! DH is an OTR truck driver and can be gone for a month or more depending on where we can find good paying loads. DD gets pretty depressed for the day or two after DH leaves but she's still fairly young and gets over it quickly. PM me if you need a friend! Us 'single momma's' need the love too since it seems harder than just being married or single since we're both... (that sounds weird but you know what I mean ;) haha) 
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  • CaitlinJ22CaitlinJ22 member

    imagejpafford86:
    I don't have any advice but wanted to remind you it gets better Momma!! DH is an OTR truck driver and can be gone for a month or more depending on where we can find good paying loads. DD gets pretty depressed for the day or two after DH leaves but she's still fairly young and gets over it quickly. PM me if you need a friend! Us 'single momma's' need the love too since it seems harder than just being married or single since we're both... (that sounds weird but you know what I mean ;) haha) 

    I know what you mean, and thank you. We are part time single moms, its rough. The other day DS stopped in the middle of playing, started to cry and said he misses Daddy....rip my heart out! Plus I miss DH more when I am stressed. Ahhh I need a vacation ;) thanks for the support.

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  • TonyaCody06TonyaCody06 member

     Oh Caitlin this sounds exhausting!!

    What if DH and your DS go shopping alone when he is back at home and pick out some sort of security stuffed animal toy that he can sleep with that will remind him of his daddy? Does he have a night light in his room? Maybe a framed picture of his daddy next to his bed?

    He is struggling with adjusting it sounds like. I think the best advice is just to keep up a routine that he can rely on and continue with the playdates/exposure to keep him detracted and happy so he realizes its ok to be happy when his daddy is at work.  

    Does he act like this when his dad is home? 

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  • 30&TTC#130&TTC#1
    Hi! I'm a complete lurker (no intentions of doing 2U2) so hope it's okay I'm replying. So sorry you're having a rough time. What kind of nightmares is he having? My younger sister is 8 years younger than I and when she had nightmares, they were about monsters. I got out some bathroom spray and told her it was a monster-repellant and when I sprayed it that all the monsters would go away. A little white lie that worked like a charm! As far as daddy being gone...my DH was military (he's done now) so I've read things about people dealing with kids while their DH is gone. One thing I read was a mom put the same amount of jellybeans (I think it was??) in a jar for the amount of days that the DH was going to be gone. She had her LO take one out every day and told her that DH would be home when all the jellybeans were gone. It helped her LO so maybe something like that would help yours??? I don't know if your DH is military or not, but either way maybe you could XP this on the Military families board, they (unfortunately) have a lot of experience of dealing with DH's being gone w/LOs. GL!
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  • CaitlinJ22CaitlinJ22 member

    thanks guys. It is exhausting! And now DD has a fever too! ugh!

    tonya, he acts better when Dh is home, but lately is afraid when I leave him with DH, so I think he's having sep issues. I think having DH go and get a toy with him would be a nice idea. DS is def more secure when DH is here, its hard. I keep his routine going, and we go on playdates etc. He is a routine kid, so when DH is here or not we try to keep things the same. Its hard though!

    30&TTC-THanks for the advice. I may try that jellybean thing. DS isnt able to really tell me what his dreams are about, but he just screams for me. Its hard. He had one last night in the midst of DD waking with her fever...but luckily he got himself down quickly.

    Thanks girls! 

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