Trouble TTC

end of the 2ww is terrifying me...

So I am trying to psych myself up to POAS Saturday.  Yes as in 6 days away Embarrassed  Isn't it sad that my first thought is how I am going to prepare myself for yet another let down.  This weekend I had a breakdown, worst ever!  Poor DH, he was a trooper, just held me until I could verbalize my thoughts.  Broken, I felt so broken.  Still feel broken, just not as much.  So I think that this "confirmation" of the fertility inadequacies I am feeling will be bad for my spirit. 

As for phantom symptoms, not sure, all my textbook AF symoptoms are always the textbook PG symptoms ::sigh::  So I guess that is good..or bad...hell I can't make up my mind to save my life.  All in all this is not helping, I am sure. 

For all of you POASaholics, how do you do it?  Are you always thinking it could be pos?

For all of your POAS-avoiders, what do you do to psych yourself up on THE day?

"When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous

Re: end of the 2ww is terrifying me...

  • I'm glad that your DH could comfort you this weekend. We've all been there girl. Smile I'm a crazy POASer and since I'm not usually in a same frame of mind when I do it, I don't really know what I'm expecting! lol. Good luck this week!


    "I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted what I asked of him." ~1 Samuel 1:27
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    "Whatever it takes, we walk together." ~Pittsburgh Penguins
    My IF-turned-baby blog
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  • imagesbrowns08:

    I'm glad that your DH could comfort you this weekend. We've all been there girl. Smile I'm a crazy POASer and since I'm not usually in a same frame of mind when I do it, I don't really know what I'm expecting! lol. Good luck this week!

    Maybe I will layer up my sbrowns lucky socks & channel the "no expectations" frame of mind!

    "When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous

  • I'm sorry you're having a rough time, but glad YH is there to take care of you. I have to say I was a POAS person, but after the last IVF I have no desire to POAS. I decided for the next one I'll POAS the day before beta (16dpo) only so that I can find out in my home with DH instead of alone in my cubicle whenever they decide to call me. 

    I think rather than psyching yourself up, you just have to know that it's possible it's positive, and think about how awesome it would be. 

    Me (32) DH (30)

    A Wordy Blog


    Baby Evangeline is here!
    image

  • fingers cross for you girl... I had a pretty bad breakdown around 7dpiui they cycle of my BFP too... felt completely not KU... turns out I was!  Hang in there!  ((hugs))
    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


  • imageCluckyEV:
    imagesbrowns08:

    I'm glad that your DH could comfort you this weekend. We've all been there girl. Smile I'm a crazy POASer and since I'm not usually in a same frame of mind when I do it, I don't really know what I'm expecting! lol. Good luck this week!

    Maybe I will layer up my sbrowns lucky socks & channel the "no expectations" frame of mind!

    Yes! Hopefully the lucky socks will help. I'm a big believer in that!


    "I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted what I asked of him." ~1 Samuel 1:27
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    "Whatever it takes, we walk together." ~Pittsburgh Penguins
    My IF-turned-baby blog
  • I'm an early POAS person.  The thought of possibly being pregnant and not knowing is what gets me to do it.  So I start early (10dpIUI) and when that is negative I just tell myself it is still to early - so I test again the next day.  And this evil cycle continues until I get AF.  

    I also justify it by having an excessive amount of internet cheapies on hand at all times.  Smile

     TTC #1 since 6/09
    Dx: PCOS and MFI
    3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
      3rd RE: IVF #5/FET = BFP
    14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573

    1st u/s=
    TWINS!
    It's a Boy and a Girl!

    Born at 34w3d! 
     

  • I am so glad that YH was supportive and helped you through that breakdown, gold star for Mr Clucky!

    I am a POAS-avoider and I eventually just get tired of the unknown and when I get to that point, that's when I test.  I don't have any suggestions on how to psych yourself up :(

    <3 Tons of love and hugs to Ricola & Baby Alex <3 <br> MySweetBaboo, IRL friend, always rooting for Baboo #2, love ya girl!<3 <br> 7.7.11 BFP | 3.19.12 EDD | 3.14.12 Baby Girl's BDay
    | Purse Blog |
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  • Oh Clucky.. I still have faith for you for this cycle! I will be thinking about you all week! <3

    As far as peeing on a stick -- I figure I would be better prepared seeing the results myself, then waiting for the RE to tell.. Atleast I can be some what prepared and have my questions ready -- but from what I learned this cycle, just because I saw 2 lines didnt mean it was "instant gratification", it was a whole other form of panic after, AKA Beta HELL! haha GL girl! <3<3

    Married November 2007
    DH became a double above knee amputee with traumatic brain injury (TBI) - July 2009
    TTC - August 2009 DX: Severe MFI & TF due to TBI
    DH SA 0 count, started clomid therapy - November 2010
    DH SA 0 count, increased clomid dosage - January 2011
    DH SA 75 million with 60% motility!! - May 2011
    IVF with ICSI ONLY OPTION - May 2011
    3dt of 2 Grade A 8&7 cell embryos May 19, 2011
    +HPT May 30 2011 -- Memorial Day!
    Beta #1 = 34 Beta #2 = 101.8 Beta #3 = 603!
    Expecting beautiful Eden Grace February 7, 2012!
    I don't believe that God ever tells us "no". he has three options. Yes, not right now, or I have something better in mind. We just have to wait & see. BabyFetus Ticker
  • Right Hug Hugs!  I know that meltdown feeling.  Thank God for great husbands.

    I use to love to POAS...then I gave it up.  I haven't done it in months.  I just wait for AF....I always tell myself she is coming.  At this point I think I will be in complete denial if/when I get a BFP.

    ~*Jenna*~


    TTC since November 2009.

    Currently licensed foster parents with the hope of adopting!  Also pursuing pregnancy through IUI!  First IUI scheduled 10/3/13


    Currently loving our placements:

    A 1/08

    C 4/11

    K 6/12


  • Aww hang in there. This is my first iui and my 2ww is up on Monday. I actually wanted to POAS this past weekend! Yes crazy I know! I was moody and crying all day Sun because I felt crampy like AF was giving me her signals that she is coming :(  I give you girls alot of credit and strength on what your going thru. We are not doing donor eggs because of costs so maybe injections with my next iui. Idk it stinks no matter what.

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         imageimage 
         image   imageimage



  • Happy to hear that DH was there to support you and help you through the rough patch.

     

    I used to POAS as early as 10 DPO. Now, I don't even bother unless I get past day 13, because it hardly EVER happens.

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  • I am sorry you had a rough weekend.  I am thinking of POAS on Saturday also.  I hate POAS for the same reasons as you in that I don't want to have to prepare myself for another let down.  The past 2 IUI's I have gotten AF before even getting to my 14dpiui.  I am not one to test early even though every cycle I think I will.  We'll see if I POAS Saturday also.  Hopefully we will both be celebrating!
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  • Thanks for all the advice!  I wish I could just wait for AF like I did "back in the day" pre prometrium.  Now I have to test in order to know if I should stop or not; AF will not show if I keep taking it.  I don't get to go do a beta unless it is pos. 

    Gregermis - That helps to know.

    MHMH - I guess the stress NEVER stops ::headdesk::

    It is nice to have cheerleaders during the times of emotional defeat!

    Guacamole for everyone! Big Smile

    image

    "When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous

  • imageTrish11278:
    I am sorry you had a rough weekend.  I am thinking of POAS on Saturday also.  I hate POAS for the same reasons as you in that I don't want to have to prepare myself for another let down.  The past 2 IUI's I have gotten AF before even getting to my 14dpiui.  I am not one to test early even though every cycle I think I will.  We'll see if I POAS Saturday also.  Hopefully we will both be celebrating!

    Trish hopefully Saturday we both have reasons to celebrate.  I will not be testing early since I am traveling for work, again this week, & left all my testing supplies at home...on purpose.  The good thing about testing Saturday is that I don't have to work until Monday.

    "When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous

  • Good luck..I am praying this is it for you..how many dpo/dpiui are you?
    1st Iui+Clomid+Ovidrel 8-13-11 BFP
    Beta @ 16dpiui=289
    Beta @20dpiui=1309
    Beta @24dpiui=3969
    IT'S A GIRL..MADELYNN ELIZABETH
    Madelynn Elizabeth born 31w6d's due to pre e.
    Welcome to the world princess!
    3-9-12
    3.7lbs/ 17 inches
  • imagejbeck78:
    Good luck..I am praying this is it for you..how many dpo/dpiui are you?

    Thanks for the prayers!  10dpiui...RE's directions are to test on the 10th.

    "When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous

  • imageCluckyEV:

    imagejbeck78:
    Good luck..I am praying this is it for you..how many dpo/dpiui are you?

    Thanks for the prayers!  10dpiui...RE's directions are to test on the 10th.

    Wow, no way I could wait that long, I give you props if you do..fingers crossed :)

    1st Iui+Clomid+Ovidrel 8-13-11 BFP
    Beta @ 16dpiui=289
    Beta @20dpiui=1309
    Beta @24dpiui=3969
    IT'S A GIRL..MADELYNN ELIZABETH
    Madelynn Elizabeth born 31w6d's due to pre e.
    Welcome to the world princess!
    3-9-12
    3.7lbs/ 17 inches
  • Good luck! I hope this is it for you.

    I'm a POASaholics I just get so excited. You would think after 2 years on BFN's I would be afraid of them but I'm not. I have problems I know. Embarrassed

    imageimage
    image
    TTC Since 2/2009
    2/2010 - 5/2010 Testing with OBGYN
    8/2010 First RE Appointment
    11/2010 Second Opinion RE Appointment
    12/2010 Clomid + IUI #1 = BFN
    1/2011 Clomid + IUI #2 = BFN
    2/2011 Clomid + IUI #3 = BFN
    5/2011 IVF #1, ET 6/2, Beta 6/15 = BFN
    8/2011 FET ET 9/12 = BFN :0(
    On a break to save money.
    1/2012 IVF #2 ER 1/12, ET 1/15, Beta 1/27 = BFFN
    4/2012 FET ET ??/?? =
    p/saif welcome
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