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Northern California Babies
How often do you see your IL's
Apparently my kids seeing my IL's 2-3x a week is not much according to my dh. Growing up I saw my grandparents maybe once every two weeks.
So just wondering what everyone elses experience is.................
[Poll]This discussion has been closed.
Re: How often do you see your IL's
Married August 22, 2009-TTC #1 since 1/11
Dx PCOS and Hypothyroidism in 2004, SA 5/11-Excellent!
Cycle #1-6-Anovulatory:(
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EDD 10-28-12
We don't have kids, but I really like my IL's and we're close to them (distance wise, and relationship wise). We usually see them every Thursday after church, sometimes more if we can, and sometimes less if we have something going on that week. We try to make it every week.
My parents live in Texas, so we see them once or twice a year for about a week at a time.
We've seen them at least once a week since R was born. That's way too often for me, we used to see them maybe 2-3x per month. We live in the same town. My family lives 3.5+ hours away and we see them once a month if we're lucky.
I always lived 4 hours away from my grandparents, my parents tried to get us to see them once a month.
Now, my parents live the next town over and watch J two days a week. So J sees them at least twice a week and sometimes more like 3-4 time a week. I think more than that would give us no time for our own lives, though.
I voted once a month, they live 30 mins away. We really should see them more often then that though. I think twice a month would be good for us.
Charlie sees my parents at least twice a week, they live in the same town as us.
H hasn't seen my parents in 2 years (they are in DE). We haven't seen ILs in a bit over a year. But he has seen them more than my parents and they (ils) are from sweden.
Distance plays a factor for us. We live and hour or more away from each set of Grandparents.
Obviously around the holiday's we see them it seems like every week with some birthday's, planned dinners and the holiday's themselves. So let's say between Halloween and New Years Day, average of 6 visits to one set or the other.
Throughout the year, we generally only see our parents at birthdays or occassional family holidays (not every mother's day, but it's been known to happen). So that's about 8 different birthday's.
Weekly would be overkill for both DH & I. I'm sure DC wouldn't mind, but with both sets of Gparents being retired, they have busy lives too. I wonder if it's odd for us to see them so little given that DC is the ONLY Grandchild for both.
ETA: Growing up, one set of my grandparents lived out of state. The other was divorced, Grandfather estranged from all the family and Grandmother was busy running a restaraunt in San Francisco. We saw my SF Gma about twice a month, but I would never say it was deep quality time as she was working.
i saw my grandparents 3 times in 15 years when i grew up out east. since moving back i think i've seen them MAYBE 10 times at the most. i've been back in CA for 20 years now.
h actually lived w/ his grandmother for a brief time when he was a kid. his grandparents died when he was pretty young.
dd sees h's stepdad a couple times a year, she sees my mom weekly and my dad has yet to meet her
my inlaws live down the street from my work , which is also between daycare and home.
I used to have a hard time accepting how much time my kids spent with inlaws, because, growing up i never saw my grandparents, they lived 3 hours and 15hours away. But DH, spent all his time with grandma, since she was his daycare. After i sat down and really thought about it, i loved all the time i did spend with my gparents and if i had the oppertunity to spend more time with them when i was younger i totally would have. So i have stopped fighting it so much.
Growing up I saw my Grandma almost every single day....she lived 1.5 miles from us and my Mom and her were VERY close (and my Mom was a SAHM).
H sees my folks around once a month and we Skype about 4 days a week. (They live 2 hours away.)
My ILs.....well, you know where they live in comparison to us.
H sees them at least once a week if not 2-3. We'll see what happens after next week. I have a feeling it'll still be at least once a week.
When we had family (DH's sister) 1 hour away we use to see them once a week to me this was too much because we never got to enjoy OUR weekend. My parents we saw about once a month (or every other month) and they lived 2 hours away.
Now that we live 13 hours away (by car) we see everyone once a year unless they choose to fly up here. Which means we see my mom every 3 months.
IL's live across the globe so we skype with them about 2 hours every other week and we see them in person every other year or so.
DH and I have realized our parents make us act crazy (we start getting mad at each other and blaming each other for things that normally aren't a big deal) so less is more.
We see my ILs once or twice a month - they live close, which is such a jump over seeing my parents only every other month or so it feels like a lot. I adore my parents and wish we could see more of them but we live 6 hours away. I didn't see my ILs for over a year before J was born because of disagreements and although we've patched things over I'm not a fan of theirs. MIL watches J when his school has holidays so he sees them more but DH does the pick up/drop off. MIL has made the offer to watch both kiddos for a few hours once a week so I can get some errands done once I'm SAH and while 95% of me thinks thats wonderful there is a bit of me that is thinking that seeing MIL every week is too much, lol.
Growing up I saw my dad's parents once a year or less since they lived across the country and I saw my mom's parents a few times a month because we lived close.
I said once a week, but really it's at least on time per week. Some weeks it is 3 times others 1 time...but at least one time a week.
My parents on the other hand, we see daily.
Lately we have been seeing them about once a week but sometimes a month or two will go by between visits. It all depends on what is going on that time of the year. E doesn't see my mom but twice a year since she lives so far away but I have a feeling come next year when she moves it will be more like once a month.
As far as my grandparents go, I saw my mom's mom about once a month and my dad's parents every day. They were my before & after school care so I saw them everyday.
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Harmony Doula
We see my MIL almost every day, and if we don't see her I talk to her a few times a day at least. I'm very lucky that I LOVE her to death.
My parents we see every Thursday at their house for dinner and sometimes my dad stops by throughout the week to see the kids too.
To be honest, I can't even imagine not seeing the parents/MIL all the time.
I said a few times a yr but let me break it down.
FIL:10 minute drive 3-6 times a yr
MIL: 8 hour plane ride, We see her 1-2x a yr for about a week
DH's ex-step-dad: 1x a week (sometimes more)
My mom: At least 3x a week if not more.
I guess my 2 cents is that there is no right amount, it is all about how your family sorts it out. I do think that a spouse can say the in-law visits are getting to much, and my DH has said that before. So I try to leave him out of her visits. She comes over durring the week while he works or when he goes to hang with the guys on the weekend. Maybe your DH could sort something simmilar out to where he and the kids see his parents but you don't have to.
My ILs live in SoCal, so we go down about twice a year and they come up twice a year (for their birthdays). Our visits are only for 2-4 days.
We see my parents almost everyday since they take care of the kids M-F and often do things on the weekends. If they weren't watching the kids, we would probably see them 2-4 times/week.
I saw my grandparents often as a kid. My dad's mom lived in the same small town so we often saw her more than once a week and for a while she lived with us. My mom's parents lived 30 minutes away and we saw them at least once a month, occassionally once a week and spent several days with them annually.
DH's family lives several hours away. We see them a few times a year. We see my mom almost every day as she cares for DS. We see my dad once or twice a month even though he lives in the same town as my mom.
My parents a few times a week for sure.
His Mom once every other month (she lives in San Diego) and I dread it.
br
Growing up I saw my maternal grandparents maybe once a year...my paternal grandmother the same until we moved closer then it was every other month.
My ILs are in town about once a month (and they stay about 2 weeks at a time) so we see them a lot (they live 10 hrs away). We try to see my dad about once a month if not more and he lives 3 hrs away.
My DH used to see his paternal grandparents more often than the others (they were opposite sides of the U.S.)