Pregnant after a Loss

SO angry... family vent.

Many of you know that DH and I are not sharing our pregnancy on facebook. I'm not comfortable with it, and I have asked my family MULTIPLE times each not to post about my pregnancy or baby. I commented on a post my uncle put up last night about bike riding (I'm a big rider when I'm not pregnant) and said that I wish I was in better shape but I'll join him next year. To which my nana replies: "You gonna ride with a baby on your back?!?"

And of course I can't delete it, because it's not my comment or my wall. 

WTF. Seriously. I have asked her at least 3 times not to discuss my current PG status on facebook. That means AT ALL. I love her, but seriously I would love to shake her right now.

Thanks for letting me vent! 

After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
Not ready to give up yet.
Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
 
Please, please, please. 

Re: SO angry... family vent.

  • So sorry your family isn't taking your facebook requests more seriously.  Hopefully, no one really noticed the comment.  Sometimes our familes just do things that don't make sense!!
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  • Im sorry hun that they arnt listening to you. Maybe if you called and asked her to remove it she would? Worth a shot. Sometimes families just dont listen. (hugs)

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  • imageMuffinhb:
    Im sorry hun that they arnt listening to you. Maybe if you called and asked her to remove it she would? Worth a shot. Sometimes families just dont listen. (hugs)

    I agree with this...or send her a FB message.  I would just explain it to her and hopefully she "gets it"!  Sorry!! 

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  • I agree with calling and asking for it to be removed. I have told the story before but I was outed on FB very early. Like 12 weeks early from a friend. I couldn't delete it because everyone seen it and commented. So I know how angry that can make a woman! I am sorry that this happened. It's your news to share when and how you want. Your family/friends should respect that.
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  • I sent her a message and also asked my Uncle to remove it (it's his walls so he can). My whole family knows how devastating my two losses have been to me and it just pisses me off that they can't even have the decency to respect that I don't want my pregnancy broadcast to the world. I really hate facebook sometimes.
    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
     
    Please, please, please. 
  • jen629jen629 member
    Awww I am sorry {{HUGS}}
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  • I'm sorry.  I'd be frustrated with them too.  Hopefully they will remove it.  You probably need to remind your Nana that not just you sees the comment, but the whole world does.  It's not like e-mail where you can (sort of) limit the people that see the comment.  My parents don't understand this, though they also thankfully don't have FB, so it's a foreign concept to some. 
    BFP#1 4/17/10...EDD 1/6/11...M/C 5/28/10 BFP#2 11/19/10...EDD 8/4/11 Squeaker born 7/30.
  • I'm sorry.  That really sucks.  A friend and my MIL took it upon themselves to announce that my DH and I are expecting a baby boy after our A/S, and we had explicitly requested that everyone keep our pg off of facebook.  I was really pissed but DH didn't think it was a big deal, so I tried to let it go didn't ask them to remove it but thinking about it still makes my blood boil. 

    Really, people?  If the parents of the child haven't posted anything, what the heck makes you think that you should share our news for us?

    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
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  • I'm so sorry, that just sucks and is totally rude.  My family is doing the same thing.  I'm constantly calling people to remove things.  I got a bunch of messages because BIL told all his church friends and didn't even ask us if we were ok with that.  I was a little peeved. 
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  • Oh no!  I am sorry, that's the worst!  You could always delete your comment though, and then hers wouldn't make any sense.  I would also ask her to delete hers though.  I think that family members tend to "forget" about pregnancy privacy, especially once you move further and further away from the first trimester.

    I hope little Jedi gives your nana a really, really poopy diaper to clean up early next year!Wink

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    BFP 12/05/10 (EDD 8/8/11), empty gestational sac 12/31/10, natural miscarriage 01/05/11
    BFP 03/03/11, EDD 11/09/11, We love you so much already, our sweet little munchkin!!!
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  • I'm sorry!  Hopefully no one will read too much into her comment!
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  • iggy.diggy.d member
    RUDE! And I can totally relate. We have purposely asked that people keep it off fb. MIL, however, just posted a picture of me holding baby shoes (a gift she gave me at my bridal shower...not at all pushy) with the caption "Iggy and DH will be using these little shoes in October!" Now, I'm not tagged in the pic, but STILL it's now out there. Her excuse to DH was that no one on her fb knows us, but I still feel like it's just her ignoring our explicit request. And you never know who knows who these days. We both work in the same field. BOO.
    BFP#1 10/5/09 | Heartbeat 11/1/09 | D&C 11/24/09 (no hb)
    BFP#2 02/18/11 * Beta@15dpo=215 * @18dpo=698 * @20dpo=2337 * @25dpo=10,931 * DS Arrived October 24, 2011
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  • That's frustrating.  I'd call her and ask her to delete it.
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  • That's really annoying. I would ask her to delete it and remind her. I actually got outed on FB by a well-meaning friend of the family who posted a picture of me and mentioned my pregnancy. Grr.
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  • I?m sorry, that?s super frustrating! I would be irritated too!

    BFP #1 4/22/10 MC 5/5/10 (6w4d) EDD 12/25/10
    BFP #2 10/19/10 CP 10/27/10 (4w6d) EDD 6/30/11
    BFP #3 5/10/11 Lucas Abelardo born 12/29/11 at 37w3d
    BFP #4 12/10/12 MMC 1/14/13 (9w3d) D&C 1/15/13 EDD 8/16/13 

    BFP #5 8/22/13 Lucia Elizabeth born 4/17/14 at 38w
     
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  • So sorry, sometimes our families just don't think.  My MIL and SIL last weekend suggested that my having an internal ultrasound cause my mc in Jan.  WTF!!!! I was so mad I just couldn't even say anything.  I got up and walked away.  I think family is the hardest to deal with through all of this, I know they mean well, but yikes sometimes you just want to tell them to take their heads out of their asses!!!

     

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  • My uncle deleted it quickly and it doesn't appear that anyone saw it. She sent me a nice email apologizing, but I'm pretty sure I'm not commenting on anything again until I have this LO!
    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
     
    Please, please, please. 
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