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When do toddlers just go to sleep w/o crying?

CareBear01CareBear01
in Houston Babies

DS is go, go, go - always in on the action.  If I didn't force him to go down for a nap or go to bed, he would be up, up, up!  We do bath, book, bed everynight, and we usually rock and sing in the dark for a few minutes, but every night (and nap) he cries when I leave him in his crib.  I know he won't fall asleep if I am still in the room (we've tried, and end up being in there for at least 30 minutes to an hour more).  After I leave, he only cries for 5 minutes before he passes out, so I know he is tired. 

When do they reach the point when they "want" to go to bed?  Luckily, he is still in his crib.  He hasn't tried to get out, so we haven't converted it to a toddler, yet, and frankly, I don't want to.  If he could get out of bed, I am afraid it would take even longer for him to fall asleep b/c he would probably get out and cry at the door, or just play in the dark.

I always feel bad when he is crying, but since it only lasts for 5 mintues, I know it's better for him for us to just step out.  Does everyone have to deal with this for naps and bedtime, or should we try something else?

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Re: When do toddlers just go to sleep w/o crying?

  • kat.in.the.hatkat.in.the.hat
    Marion still does this for naps too.  I think it's called being a tension releaser crier.  It's like she just has to get it out of her system, then she's able to fall asleep.
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  • savannah11savannah11
    C is the same age and doesn't cry but will sing, purposely throw out her stuffed animals, etc for attention.  I think O first asked to go to bed around 3 but he certainly doesn't do that every night.  We still have to make him go to his room and tuck him in but there is no protest.
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  • Suzi-G-Suzi-G- member
    Mine goes down super easy, no crying he just lays down and goes to sleep on his own. BUT he still wakes up multiple times a night, wanna trade? ;) I have no advice, he started going to sleep on his own at school long before I could get him to do it at home, so I can't even take "credit" really.
    My big boy is bounding towards 4! Baby brother coming in October!
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    Hipster dog is not impressed.
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  • jen5-03jen5-03 member
    DD was 2.5 when she would lay quietly in bed when I left the room. Before that I always just stayed with her until she went to sleep. They were sleeping in a twin bed at 16mo and 18mo. Because I stay until he's asleep, he doesn't get out of bed.
    - Jena
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  • RaeAntRaeAnt member

    We are sort of at that point. We have to lay down with him for a little bit before leaving, but then he doesn't fuss when we leave. he also loves going to bed. he gets excited when he knows he's going for a nap or night-nights. He is his father's son!

    I'm also watching an 11 month old for the summer. he's very good about sleeping. You put him down, he'll cry for a couple of minutes and then he's good. I'm not even sure he cries for his parents at all for sleep. It might just be at my house because it's still rather new to him.

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  • kreeper611kreeper611 member

    We usually only have issues with DS if there is a house full of people and he doesn't want to nap.  The weekend of my sisters wedding, I tried to put him down for a nap - he cried for 5 min or so, and was out for 3 hours.  In a house full of girls getting dressed!

    I'd say 95% of the time, we just ask if he wants to go to sleep or take a nap and he'll say "nite-nite" and run into his room.  For naps, daycare trained him well.  For evening bedtime, we got lucky.  I have no advice, because I'm not even sure I could do the same thing twice.

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  • NannerNanner
    My kids (4 and almost 6) get into bed pretty easily--I guess since around 3 yrs--but man, they are king and queen of stall tactics.  I try to think of everything possible before I say goodnight and turn out the lights--book/stuffed animal in bed, drink of water, hugs and kisses, etc. But they still find ways to put off going to sleep.
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  • rayskit10rayskit10 member

    For Mathis, he goes to sleep well. This is our routine: after books, we tell him "now it's time for everyone to go to sleep." I ask him if he wants a snuggle- the answer is always yes. I turn out the light and snuggle him for about 2 minutes and then say "now mommy, daddy and brother are all going to sleep" and basically put him in bed, give him a couple rubs on the head and walk out.

    I think it works well because

    a) 1st and foremost he is a good sleeper

    b) he gets a little love and security with the snuggle

    c) he believes we are all going to bed so he is not going to miss anything

    Sometimes he will wait like 15 minutes, I'll think he's asleep, and he'll call out for me. I always respond (again, so he feels safe) but I tell him I am going to bed and he needs to do the same and that next time, I will be asleep and won't come back. He never calls for me a 2nd time. 

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  • Katieraye09Katieraye09

    Tyler does the same thing!  We turn his projector (crack machine) on as well as his nightlight and that seems to help but he still wants us to stay.  Most nights I watch the projector with him for a few minutes before slipping out and he's okay but if I don't "watch his movie" with him for a little while he cries.  Maybe try the projector??  Does yours have a timer?  I set mine to shut off after 30 mins and he's usually long gone before it turns off!  I also leave the door open while he's going to bed and then close it later before I go to bed. 

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  • CareBear01CareBear01
    imagekatieraye04:

    Tyler does the same thing!  We turn his projector (crack machine) on as well as his nightlight and that seems to help but he still wants us to stay.  Most nights I watch the projector with him for a few minutes before slipping out and he's okay but if I don't "watch his movie" with him for a little while he cries.  Maybe try the projector??  Does yours have a timer?  I set mine to shut off after 30 mins and he's usually long gone before it turns off!  I also leave the door open while he's going to bed and then close it later before I go to bed. 

    We don't have the projector one - just the noise machine.  Our noise machine goes all night - just to block out any noises from the house.  I usually have to close the door, or he will call out for me, thinking I'll come back.  I am good about not going back in the room after lay him down, say "night night, sweet dreams, I love you, and see you in the morning" - so he knows I don't come back after that.  (I will if he cries more than 10-15 minutes, but that is very rare).  I think that is why he settles so quick after I leave, but I still feel bad!  He will fight bed like crazy, but is a good sleeper and will be down for 11-12 hours.

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  • lilbitnmaglilbitnmag

    imageSuzi-G-:
    Mine goes down super easy, no crying he just lays down and goes to sleep on his own. BUT he still wakes up multiple times a night, wanna trade? ;) I have no advice, he started going to sleep on his own at school long before I could get him to do it at home, so I can't even take "credit" really.

    Suzi- so what do you do during those multiple times a night?  I've tried water, rocking, sshh'ing, and it all seems to make it worse.  Granted we just weaned and I think it's all from bad habits, but I don't know what else to do other than CIO.

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  • Suzi-G-Suzi-G- member
    imagelilbitnmag:

    imageSuzi-G-:
    Mine goes down super easy, no crying he just lays down and goes to sleep on his own. BUT he still wakes up multiple times a night, wanna trade? ;) I have no advice, he started going to sleep on his own at school long before I could get him to do it at home, so I can't even take "credit" really.

    Suzi- so what do you do during those multiple times a night?  I've tried water, rocking, sshh'ing, and it all seems to make it worse.  Granted we just weaned and I think it's all from bad habits, but I don't know what else to do other than CIO.

    ***puts on flameproof suit***

    I nurse him.  I've tried CIO, it made no difference in the number of times he woke up per night (granted I only tried it for about 5 or 6 nights but that was my limit).  And my house is really small so if he's crying at night NO one is sleeping.  So, CIO didn't work for us.  I do a variety of things starting w/ just opening the door and saying "shhh night night, lay your head down, go night night"  I progress through patting, rocking and if all else fails I can nurse him for about 5 minutes and put him back down.  Most wake ups I nurse him.  If I'm sick or he's sick or I'm just utterly exhausted I skip all the early steps and just nurse him and put him back in bed because it means I can be back in bed in under 10 minutes.   If I could go a whole week with very little sleep I'm sure I could probably get him to stop waking up but I just can't function.  

    My big boy is bounding towards 4! Baby brother coming in October!
      image
    Hipster dog is not impressed.
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  • lilbitnmaglilbitnmag
    imageSuzi-G-:
    imagelilbitnmag:

    imageSuzi-G-:
    Mine goes down super easy, no crying he just lays down and goes to sleep on his own. BUT he still wakes up multiple times a night, wanna trade? ;) I have no advice, he started going to sleep on his own at school long before I could get him to do it at home, so I can't even take "credit" really.

    Suzi- so what do you do during those multiple times a night?  I've tried water, rocking, sshh'ing, and it all seems to make it worse.  Granted we just weaned and I think it's all from bad habits, but I don't know what else to do other than CIO.

    ***puts on flameproof suit***

    I nurse him.  I've tried CIO, it made no difference in the number of times he woke up per night (granted I only tried it for about 5 or 6 nights but that was my limit).  And my house is really small so if he's crying at night NO one is sleeping.  So, CIO didn't work for us.  I do a variety of things starting w/ just opening the door and saying "shhh night night, lay your head down, go night night"  I progress through patting, rocking and if all else fails I can nurse him for about 5 minutes and put him back down.  Most wake ups I nurse him.  If I'm sick or he's sick or I'm just utterly exhausted I skip all the early steps and just nurse him and put him back in bed because it means I can be back in bed in under 10 minutes.   If I could go a whole week with very little sleep I'm sure I could probably get him to stop waking up but I just can't function.  

    NO flames here! Because, I have been doing the EXACT same thing up until this weekend.  We just came of off night 2 trying CIO.  C woke up around 4 am (which seems to be his internal alarm) Sun. morning I was nursing and all of the sudden he started throwing a tantrum didn't want the boob, paci, nothing and I lost it emotionally.  This is when I decided it was best to wean completely. Bed time has been great; it is the middle of the night/ early am that I am at a loss for.  Really never thought that my 15 month old would be so attached to the boob, but I blame his father for that Stick out tongue.

    I'm in the same camp with you and it's not worth the lack of sleep over.  Only dilelmma is we are going on vacation at the end of the month. I dont want to get up to nurse in the hotel room with my 14 y/o step-son in the room, but to keep peace for other guests and ourselves I may have no other choice.

    **Yawn, from another tired mom**

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