Baby sitters that aren't family

sistrkate · June 2011

We've never had anyone watch our kids that wasn't family. I never thought I would be weird about this, but I am. However, now I'm finding that DH and I are (finally) developing a bit of a social life and I don't think I can rely on either my parents or my sister to watch the boys for me all the time.

If you've used sitters other than family, how did you introduce them to your kids? I'm leery of having someone stay with my kids when they don't know each other, especially since getting them to bed can be a challenge most nights. (That's putting it mildly) But even aside from just the bedtime challenges, I don't know how to get everyone comfortably acclimated and feel good about leaving them for a few hours.

I'm sure I'm way overthinking this, but how did you feel comfortable leaving your kids with someone they/you do not really know?

cat81305 · June 2011

We have had ours come over a time or two and hang out with all of us and play with the kids and then talked to them and got to know them in a relaxed mode

My kids don't give them as hard of a time for bed as they might us some times. Good luck and I am finally getting more comfortable to leave mine with others now that they both can talk

Lucky_N_Love · June 2011

No help but I feel you. It's funny how growing up I baby-sat for families all the time and now that I am a mom I don't know if I would want to leave my kids with someone other than family. I am sure you get over it once you get to know someone.

Many of the families that I watched when young I knew from church (i helped out with sunday school) or from a summer camp program. So if you're involved with anything like that where your kids already kind of know someone that may help.

jerseygirl81 · June 2011

We usually use one of the ladies at daycare, is that an option for you? The other option we have is the 20-year-old daughter of my co-worker. She sat for us last weekend, and I hadn't met her in person until then.

I guess I'm weird because I don't feel weird about it, but it's not like I'm just using some random person off the street.

MelissaMc22 · June 2011

I understand, I definitely felt that way- and still do, but feel better now that S is older and not nursing.

Since we don;t have family nearby, it's not an option for us though.

The girl we use (whh isn't often enough) we met through Jack's Karate. She is 16 and really great with kids.

At first, I just had her come over when I was home, then I had her come by when Sawyer was asleep so it was just Jack, then I had her come by for both of them. I still haven't had her put them to bed yet, that part bugs me too.

Anyways, just ask around. Get references, test her out. You'll know when it's the right fit!

teacherjess · June 2011

I am VERY leery about leaving Leah with people who aren't family. However, when my parents were not nearby and DH and I were working at the same place, we had no choice on two separate occasions when Leah was about 1. I hired babysitters I had met on care.com and done background checks on (through care.com). They were fine but I wasn't bowled over by how wonderful they were or anything. The next time was when we used one of my former students to watch her for our anniversary. That time, I felt much more comfortable since I knew her family, etc. We never had to use her again, though, because my parents moved to Cincy that fall and have watched her since. It is so hard to leave them with anyone other than family-- I understand!

curlypie1 · June 2011

We haven't had anyone other than family either. The house next door is for sale and DH and I say how we hope a teenage girl will move in!

We will probably go with a service when the time is right since we don't know any young ladies that we want to leave our girls with.

MrsAngel2008 · June 2011

Looking back, the people I babysat for when I was a teenager never did any "prep" play times/visits...I'd just go over for the first time, meet the kids, get a tour of the house, and the parents would leave. Good thing I was an honest and reliable teenager! (-=

Superchicy · June 2011

I am leery too about leaving DD with anyone. She's been with my mom, sister, and MIL, but that's it so far. I know a couple girls I would trust to watch her that were former students of mine. If I didn't know them though I don't think I could ever trust a stranger with DD unless I knew them on some personal level, even if we met her a couple times. Maybe when DD is older, but not right now, I'm not ready for that yet.

linzpinz14 · June 2011

I looked for a college student in the department of education to watch my childcare kids when I had dr. appts. Before I even met her, I had her fill out a short questionaire thing through e-mail and I was really happy with the effort she put into that. Then I talked to her on the phone and I contacted her references.

The first time she was here watching the kids, I had her stay for about a half hour before I left. I also had my sister stay with her, just in case she needed anything and I was only gone for an hour.

I like observing how she interacts with the kids - I think it really says a lot about how she cares for them. I also ask my kids what they did with her while I was gone. And they are always really excited to see her too. HTH!

Moesten · June 2011

Color me weird but I never struggled with this. First off, my family isn't available for sitting as I need them so it was either don't go out/to class/to doctor etc or get a non-family sitter. Secondly, the service we use interviews references, does a background check, and runs fingerprints. The background check isn't a guarantee that the person isn't a whack job but it's a better vetting process than I would do myself.

Neither of my kids had a problem with stranger anxiety so we didn't have to combat that. And even when Sam was colicky and difficult, the sitters we had were patient and gentle and took it all in stride. That period was the only time I was really nervous about leaving him with someone since I know it's so incredibly difficult to contend with a crying baby. Plus whenever we came home we gave the house and the kids a once over to make sure there was nothing out of sorts. Beyond that - the background checks, trusting your instincts, and checking up afterwards - I don't know what other measures you can take.

The other thing I think about is that in some ways the sitters are better than family sometimes. My parents like many grandparents play fast and loose with the rules and expectations sometimes whereas the sitters always follow instructions about food, activities, tv, etc.

You never know, your kids might surprise you and be very compliant with a sitter. I worked with a teacher who called these kinds of kids "street angels" meaning they were terribly behaved with their parents but did great with teachers, sitters, at other kids' houses, etc.

kel716 · June 2011

Moesten:

You never know, your kids might surprise you and be very compliant with a sitter. I worked with a teacher who called these kinds of kids "street angels" meaning they were terribly behaved with their parents but did great with teachers, sitters, at other kids' houses, etc.

I have several students who are street angels. The parents come in for conferences expecting the worst and I give them a glowing, or near glowing report. They're usually stunned.

FWIW, we have yet to leave B with anyone but family and the girl I mentored her first year of teaching... outside of daycare of course. I ran into a former student of mine the other day that I may use. I know her mom, had both her and her brother in class, and a colleague of mine uses both of them for babysitting services. This may sound strange, but she's going to my alma mater for college too, so I feel a little better. That said, we'll probably have her come over one afternoon while either we're both home or one of is home so we can get some projects done before we have her actually sit.

cops_wife · June 2011

I haven't had to leave Ellie with anyone other than family yet either, but my cousin's wife is a former teacher who has several neighbors and former students that she uses and recommends. I would ask friends and neighbors in the same area as you who they use.

I also used to teach Sunday School as a teenager and met most of the people I babysat for through that. I also sat for some neighbors, so maybe there are some teenagers in your neighborhood?

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Baby sitters that aren't family

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